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unprofessional-bard · 3 years ago

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Chapter 15 - The Result

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter (TBA)

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: smut: oral sex (m! receiving), unprotected sex, joel breeding kink go brrr; talks of depression, anxiety and PTSD, detailed descriptions of bloodshed/death.

Summary: The confrontation the reader had been waiting for finally happens.

Word Count: 5.771

Author's Note: I apologise for the repost y'all!! The chapter didn't appear on the tags and I didn't notice it soon enough!! If this doesn't appear as well...

Enjoy!

The last heatwaves of summer started coming in with full force as September approached– a final storm before the calm. It wasn't completely intolerable, but it still messed with a lot of people: even you and Joel had to stay away from one another during the nights due to the heat making everything more sticky and irritable. It was annoying as hell, given that you had Joel all to yourself for a whole week now.

That certainly didn't stop you two from having sex before his departure, of course.

It took you some time to anchor yourself back to reality after what happened with Ward – the first three days were the worst with the episodes and attacks, but you don't think you could've made it this far in such a short time without Ellie and Joel. This was practically nothing compared to when you had first arrived in Jackson... if you had them both with you when–

Doesn't matter now. It took you months and it wouldn't have mattered if it had taken more– you made it. At the end, you got through it.

You and Joel talked about things, too. A lot of it mostly surrounding Kiki and Ward, of course. Things were cleared out, feelings were gotten off of chests and apologies were made: One day, after going out to get groceries while you chopped some vegetables for dinner, he put the sacks on the counter island and approached you, wrapping his hands around your waist.

"Smells delicious," He murmured into your ear and placed a kiss on your cheek, then put his chin on your shoulder, ever so slowly –with minimal movement– swaying you to the smooth jazz playing in the living room.

"I didn't cook anything yet?" You raised a brow and smiled at the way his beard scratched at the side of your face.

"Didn't mean the food," He whispered and kissed the back of your ear, sending a shiver down your spine as you chuckled. He then moved down the line behind your artery, peppering kisses there, each and every single touch of his lips sending a rather pleasant feeling between your legs.

You slowly leaned your head back against his shoulder as he took your hands in his, making you put the knife down and let him sway you to the wordless tune playing in the background.

He eventually stopped when he reached your collarbones and turned you around to face him: "Mrs. Miller..." Your smile grew at the name: "How're you on this fine evenin'?"

"Just fine, Mr. Miller." You grinned and mimicked his accent. He placed one hand on your waist while the other grabbed your hand. He smelled so wonderful and looked so good–

"Would ya fancy a dance, m'lady?" His teeth showed when his smirk grew wider, your faces were almost touching.

"Ain't you a dandy and a charmer?" You chuckled, your lips brushing against his and chests pressed against each other.

This? This was everything. All of your problems and worries gone even just for a moment or two– you'd do anything for him.

The small dance you two had going on lasted another minute before the track ended softly. Joel finally stopped teasing your lips and pressed a gentle kiss against them, which you returned with more hunger and passion.

"A little dance got you all excited?" Joel chuckled when he pulled back for air, noticing your hands had already unbuttonned his shirt halfway.

"You got me all excited," You beamed at him and dipped your hands under his shirt before reaching the last two buttons, feeling his warm skin under your fingertips and sighing into his chest. "We haven't done it in awhile..."

"Tsk," Joel shook his head with a soft grin, licking his lips as his pupils dilated the longer he thought of the last time you had sex, which was when he came in you for the first time. It had him weak in the knees, and would definitely do it again if you let him. He then softly leaned in and placed a wet kiss on your neck, making you sigh and close your eyes.

His hands placed themselves on your waist as he pushed you against the counter island, lightly marking your neck as he went: "Should'a done this a few days back, would'a marked you red and blue since y'ain't goin' out..."

You quietly moaned as he trapped you in place, lightly pushing your shirt up and massaging your sides as he did. You took the opportunity to place a kiss on his neck in return, hearing him growl softly, so you did it again, and again, and again...

Sex with Joel never ceased to satisfy you: He always managed to get you all giddy and excited like a child given a reward. His movements gained some speed as soon as his hands cupped your breasts, immediately taking your shirt off and kissing your lips hungrily. His arms closed around your waist and back as he moved down to your jaw and neck, biting and licking his way to your shoulders.

"Joel... the food..." Your chuckles mixed with moans the more his beard and lips caressed your skin. At your words, he picked you up and placed you on the counter, hooking his fingers through the waistbands of your shorts.

"I'll be full in a few," He smirked and started kissing down your breasts as he slowly dragged your shorts down your legs. His tongue worked wonders on your nipples while your fingers made their way through his hair, giving him soft hisses and quiet moans whenever he lightly bit on the skin.

Moments later, he was on his knees, caressing and kissing your inner thighs, not pulling back on leaving hickeys where he knew your shorts would cover to spare you the embarrassment; although that didn't keep him from lightly biting on the skin that showed too.

He then spread your legs and started giving tiny licks along your slit, making you slowly lean back onto your elbows, only to suddenly land on your back when he pulled you forwards by your thighs. You gave a brief chuckle as he feasted on your juices like a man who hadn't eaten in weeks.

As soon as you threw your head back, you opened your eyes to an intensifying sizzling sound, gasping when you saw the pan on the stove: "Joel! The food!"

"Oh shit–" He quickly left your wetness and practically threw himself over to the stove. After that was out of the way, you both stood still and giggled briefly. "Why'd you cook this much food?"

"Ellie asked if she could eat with us," You spoke as you got off the counter. "Said she didn't have time to cook for herself, I said sure. She then asked if Jesse could come too– Wait, what time is it?"

"Five twenty."

"Oh, good."

"Why?"

"Because," You gave him a mischievous smirk as you walked over to him and hooked your fingers behind his belt without breaking eye contact, pulling him back to the counter island. "That means we have at least another half hour before they arrive, but we still gotta be qui– Hmph!"

His lips were instantly on yours as he quickly pressed your back against the counter, but you stopped him before he could go down on you: "Nu-uh. I may be the cook–" You grabbed him through his trousers, making his hips jerk forward: "But I gotta eat too."

He made to protest –he's been going on about how you should take it easy and how your pleasure was more important than his (it was funny how he thought his pleasure didn't add to yours)– but you were already sinking to your knees, trapping yourself between his legs and the counter.

"There we go," You cooed as you got rid of his belt. Joel sighed deeply and closed his eyes, putting his hands on the surface above your head and leaning into your touch instinctively.

You were quick to pull him out of his underwear, pumping his cock a few times before giving it a few licks around the tip, to which he hissed quietly.

It was when you decided to take all his length to the back of your throat at one go that his hands shot to your hair: "Jesus– christ, doll!"

You offered a quiet giggle while you played with him in your hand, then slowly and rhythmically you took him in your mouth, but not even a few minutes later, Joel pulled your hair into a ponytail with both hands: "Can't believe I'm sayin' this but, food can wait."

You gave him a surprised look before he gently grabbed your jaw and lightly pressed your cheeks to make you open your mouth wider, then pushed his cock down your throat. Gagging and moaning you grabbed his hips, to which he responded: "A-ah, no hands Dolly."

You were perhaps too quick to drop your hands to your sides, then lace your fingers behind your back to keep yourself from grabbing him. You let him use your mouth for a few minutes: the sounds of wetness and gagging, plus occasional grunts and moans from him was heavenly for the both of you.

"Fuck– Dolly, up," He suddenly pulled out and leaned down to pull you up. He turned you around and gently, but with rushed movements, bent you over the counter a little. He entered you with one precise thrust, making you bend even more. You moaned simultaneously when he did, staying still a little for you to adjust.

He then leaned down over you, framing your body with his. Your bare back pressed against his naked chest, his hands wrapping themselves around your arms –then wrists– as his chin found its place like a puzzle piece in the crook of your neck. You loved it when he covered you like this, loved when he was so desperate, loved when he couldn't help himself and couldn't get enough of your–

"You get me so– shit," He growled as he pulled back and thrusted in again. He began with a steady rhythm, making you moan softly. You felt your eyes roll back when he nibbled at your ear and kissed your neck.

"Fuck– Joel, fuck–" You moaned, the pitch of your voice rising like it did when you began closing in on your orgasm. You both were aware how you were short on time and had to make this into a quickie, a promise of something more when night time fell and you both were alone in your room, hungry for one another like you were now.

"Want me to– to come in you again? Y'think I put a baby in you the last time?" He moaned at the way you squeezed around him, wriggled under his body and cried out at his words. "Don't matter, we can do it again to make sure– just say the words."

"Joel– ah, ah," You gasped when one of his hands left your wrist to draw circles around your clit, making you thrust back to his rhythm. "Fuck, come inside me, please."

"Shit, (Y/N)," He growled low, almost animalistically, into your ear. He placed kisses over your neck, then went up to your jaw and cheek, finally meeting your lips halfway. "Come on, babydoll, put one leg up for me?"

His other hand left your wrist as well when you nodded, helping one leg up to the counter. He proceeded to lean back and up, grab your hips and slam into you as fast and hard as he could, knocking the breath out of you.

"Oh my god!" You cried out, failing to keep up. The skin slapping against skin had long drowned out most of the surrounding sounds, minus your moaning and Joel's growling. "So– so close–"

"This ain't gonna work," He suddenly stopped, murmuring to himself. He put your leg back down, pulled out of you and turned you to face him. The sight of his cock –erect completely, thick and swollen– made you moan quietly. He lifted you up and sat you on the counter once more, spreading your legs. He grabbed your ass and pulled you forward, to the edge, where he thrusted back in.

You grabbed his face and kissed him hungrily, biting on his lower lip, then shoved your tongue into his mouth, moaning all the while.

"Ah," He broke off suddenly and put his forehead on your shoulder as he slammed, and slammed, and slammed...

Until he grabbed you by your thighs, his voice cracking slightly, and finally emptied his seed inside you, biting on your shoulder quite aggressively; you didn't mind, however, as it was the final stroke that threw you off the edge. You held onto his shoulders as you both trembled in the other's arms, panting as if you'd run all the way from the western gate to home.

His hips involuntary jerked forwards, his cock twitching inside you. He held you tightly in his arms as you came down your high, becoming sleepy all of a sudden. Him coming inside you had a wonderful effect on the both of you last time, it was no different this time.

"Shit," You hissed. "That was– that was–"

"Mind blowing?" He chuckled, reminding you of one of your quickies during patrol before you got married.

"That's one way to put it," You grinned back and claimed his lips in a sweet kiss. "You should come inside me more often."

You felt him tense a little: "Yeah, about that, are you su–"

Knock knock: "(Y/N)?" Ellie.

"Shit!" You jumped where you sat. Joel immediately pulled himself out of you and tucked his softening cock back in his jeans as you collected your clothing and ran to the bathroom.

After dinner, your love-making continued in your chambers. The pace slowed, the air became somewhat more sentimental, and tears were shed– both of you trembled in the other's arms, kissing and wiping away at the other's wet cheeks. You laid together: entwined, side by side, eventually parting because of the heat...

Now, you laid alone.

Alone in the house after that too-good-to-be-true week, you felt trapped and not as up to date as you liked to be about the town, so you asked Maria to sign you up for supply runs, extra shifts– whatever you were kept from.

People were more happy to see you than you thought they'd be– and more worried about you than Kiki. "You underestimate the place you hold in the community, (Y/N)." Eugene had told you with a pat to the back when you showed up to your first patrol in near two weeks. Before setting off for your assigned route however, Maria called you over with a half worried, half grave expression.

"Gonna tell you something you're not gonna like, so try to keep calm okay?" She stared right through you, making you gulp and nod: "Kiki wants to–" She sighed halfway when you scoffed quietly. "She said she wanted to talk to you, sort things out. She seemed pretty calm, maybe she made her peace with it."

"Nah," You shook your head. "She's got some folks riled up against me, they're giving me weird looks. Won't believe she's made her peace 'til that stops."

"All the more reason for you to talk. Her group's gonna wait for yours to arrive at the checkpoint. It's a good opportunity."

"... Alright." You exhaled heavily as she gave you an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

Your group was made of just you and Eugene, but Ellie and Jesse asked if they could join. Jesse was already allowed on paired patrols, but Ellie was a matter of debate as Joel still deemed her young– definitely not because he was worried sick over her.

"Ellie..." You made to protest, but your gut told you to let her tag along.

"(Y/N) c'mon, Joel ain't even here," Eugene.

"No, yeah," You blinked, snapping out of your deep thoughts. "I was gonna say yes, sorry. Come on, hurry then."

Once you reached the checkpoint, you asked Eugene to stay back: "What's up, Dolly?"

"Kiki's in there, she says she wants to talk to me," You explained, hands on your hips. "To sort things out– I don't buy it."

"Woah, hold on. She said that to you?"

"To Maria. She says she's made her peace with what I did, but I say otherwise."

"Like hell she did," Eugene agreed. "I heard she's been calling you a–"

"I–" You put your hand up: "–don't wanna hear what that idiot has to say. I see a few people staring at me whenever I go out, some straight out avoid me."

"You want me to–?"

"No– no I'll talk to her, no biggie. This has to end one way or another, but I don't trust her. Be my eyes?"

"Always, (Y/N)," He started walking towards the doors of the checkpoint, but you stopped him.

"Actually, you watch out for Ellie and Jesse. I'll handle this alone."

"(Y/N)–"

"It's okay, she's weak. Squealed to the softest touch when she first came here, remember? She wouldn't try anything."

"But that was when she first came here. Don't underestimate her."

A warning that had fallen on your deaf ears.

As you reached the doors, you saw Ellie and Jesse standing a feet or two from the entrance awkwardly. You took a deep breath and walked through the door with heavy steps and, as soon as you saw her sitting on the couch, you stood across her: "Let's talk," You looked around the room to find it quite small for you to have privacy: "Leave us. Let's finish this."

"Wh–?"

"It's okay, Ellie– Just step outside for a moment, all of you."

Kiki's group, three other people, left the room with your company while giving you dirty looks. You locked eyes with Eugene, seeing him signal you watch, then as he turned around he also signaled you with hand signals. You really were grateful for him.

"Alright," You straightened up: "Let's get to it. I'm done holding back on you, so don't you dare play coy with me and say what you wanna say and get this over with."

"Very well then." She got up and started walking towards you, but you stopped her.

"I can hear you just fine from where you are." You told her not to approach, eyes instinctively scanning your surroundings. She was around 20 feet away from you, the path between you and her were clear of any obstacles –furniture etc– minus the small set of stairs that led up to where you were standing. There was a table behind you that you spied when you first entered the room, otherwise there was nothing near the neither of you.

"Fine. I was here to talk about Ward."

"I guessed that much."

"You do realise what you've done to me, right? You've ruined my life." Her face didn't reflect the words she spoke, not one bit.

"Oh for god's– I know damn well what I did."

"Did you regret it?"

You clenched, then unclenched your jaw: "Why do you wanna know?"

"I wanted to know if I'm talking to a normal person, or a cold blooded murderer."

Your hands were quick to ball up into fists, but you had to keep your cool. Her face and her stance made your shoulders tense even more– despite how she had behaved when you shot Ward, she was quite calm. Let's not jump to conclusions, you told yourself.

You remained quiet and huffed after a moment: "Let me ask you something."

"Ask away." She was ever so slowly inching closer, but you let her.

"Do you regret it? Me, shooting a man who beats you to a pulp, a man who won't–"

"I loved him, of course I do," She scoffed, but there was no love in her voice, just irritation.

"Or was this your plan all along?" You smirked sardonically, trying to keep your anger away from her prying eyes– allowing her to slip up: "You hated him so much, then you saw Joel and me, wanted my place; that it?"

"Clever, very clever," She nodded. "And what better person to kill Ward than you? How is it going between you and Joel, anyway?" She was suddenly too close: "Does he look at you with disgust every time you go to bed, wishing that it was me instead, the poor woman made into a widow by his own wife?"

Your face scrunched up with disgust and fury: "You fucking–"

"I'm right, aren't I?" Her head was tilted forward, giving you one of the most chilling, emotionless smiles you had ever seen.

"No... you're a fucking psychopath, that's what you are," You frowned.

"Ah, you sounded like Ward. Have you also read those psychology books Doctor Katherine had given him?"

Your mind blanked for a moment, but you quickly replied to cover it up: "I was trained to deal with the likes of you."

It was partly true, especially after everything went to shit with the apocalypse and whatnot. You were trained, yes, but you had educated yourself about certain disorders which could help you train and read body language better– you were no expert of course, and you weren't police, or a detective; you didn't deal with people like her up close.

"Likes of me?" She rolled her eyes: "Ugh, you and your husband... In any case, I feel like I can be honest with you now, you're smarter than I imagined."

Eugene was right, you thought: "Decided to be honest, finally? When no one else is around? How brave of you."

"The point wasn't bravery," She looked angrier, but her voice was still quiet. "The point was exactly that– No one will hear this confession but you."

You stared into her eyes, confusion and stress taking over a bit more quicker than you liked, you didn't even realise she was inching closer towards you: "I hated Ward. I didn't love him. He was my means of escape and protection for all those years out there, but I was weak– he was abusive, yes. I was smaller than him in physique and had no training to defend myself, so naturally I was inferior. His love, I assume, was true at one point. Mine never was. And yes, I was aware of how we were the black sheep of the community once we had arrived. I figured, if Tommy, Maria– people who were looked up to, like you, liked us, we'd fit in. I did, more than Ward anyway. And yes, I did want Joel for myself, but I knew it wasn't going to be easy. You– you never really liked me, you had to move out of the picture."

Your stance became defensive as you listened: "Move out of the picture?"

"Joel will move on, eventually, and I'll walk him through his grief. For all of this to work out, you had to die. That's why I am being honest, because I am going to kill you."

You thought you were ready to evade her attack, but not mentally. Her words had made your mind go blank: despite being smaller than you in figure, she threw herself at you, grabbed your hair and slammed your head onto the table behind you. Twice.

"Ah!" You growled and grabbed her wrist in a death grip, however she didn't let out as much as a groan (unlike the first time you had tried something like this with her), even though you felt like her bones were going to crush under your palm. You cursed at yourself for letting her get as close to you as she did, giving her an advantage; your vision was getting blurry from the strikes you suffered.

You growled angrily as you turned your body towards hers again, her hands not letting go of your hair. She had gotten stronger over the time she's been trained in Jackson, but you could still have the upper hand. You landed the hardest kick you could on her stomach. Twice.

"You're not even pregnant, are you?!" You spat when you managed to push her off, but as soon as she backed off, she pulled out a knife and lunged at you again. Before the tip of the knife could pierce your throat, you crossed your arms and blocked her attack, the force bending you backwards across the table.

"I never was, yes," She struggled, voice still stable. "Though telling everyone I miscarried because of your little doing didn't really hurt nobo–"

————

"Eugene, what the hell?" Mike, someone in Kiki's group asked as soon as they stepped outside.

The older man didn't reply, sparing an angry look in the younger man's way as he began looking for a window, an opening, anywhere he could keep an eye on you from.

"Whatever, let's hope (Y/N) doesn't kill her too in there," Jennifer, Kiki's neighbour across the street, grumbled.

"What's wrong with you?" Ellie snapped and turned to her. "(Y/N) protected her!"

"I don't think cold blooded murder doesn't really count as protection," She sneered.

"The fuck did you just–" Ellie started walking towards her, but Jesse held her back.

"Ellie calm down," He spoke quietly, then turned to Jessica. "If it weren't for (Y/N), both Kiki and Paul would've died, don't you understand? Ward beat Kiki to her death, then actually tried to—"

"What do you know? You weren't there!" Jessica hissed at him.

"Neither were you," Jesse replied calmly. "(Y/N) isn't a murderer, she's a protector of this town."

"Her history with FEDRA says otherwise," Mike joined in.

"So you're telling me you haven't killed anyone in the past 20 years?" Eugene suddenly walked over to them. "You think you're so innocent in all this, huh? You're as innocent as the rest of us, Mike. We've all done– forced to do some fucked up shit before Jackson, but this what this place's all about; a second chance." He took a few silent deep breaths, before adding: "You don't know what anyone here has gone through before here, so shut your goddamn mouth."

Both Mike and Jennifer fell silent, as well as Jesse and Ellie as the older man death stared Kiki's group. He started walking back to continue looking for an opening too late however– he suddenly heard two loud thuds, followed by a shout, your shout.

"God dammit!" He ran to the door with everyone else behind him and almost kicked down the door when he reached it.

————

"Kiki, what the hell?!" Eugene came in shouting, the door suddenly opening with a loud crash.

"What's the matter, can't handle me on your own?" She hissed at you, but her grip failed at Eugene's entrance. She had failed, and she knew this too, for her face morphed from ambition and triumph to anger and fear. That was your moment.

You directed her hands to your left with your forearms, the knife suddenly giving in and stabbing into the wooden table: "Oh I can handle you just fine!"

You twisted your arms around hers, grabbed her and push kicked her with all your might, sending her flying down the small set of stairs back near the couch she was sitting on previously. Driven by rage, you pulled the knife out of the table and jumped on her with scary speed. Before she could get up, you reached her and straddled her hips, ready to drive the knife through her throat like she had tried to do to you.

"(Y/N) stop!" Eugene yelled before you could, knife holding hand raised high, the other around her lower neck.

"Tell them, go on!" You suddenly yelled, moving your hand onto her throat. "Confess to them like you did to me."

"Get off me." She spoke calmly.

"Speak!" You yelled and shook her where you had grabbed her by the throat.

"(Y/N)..." Eugene, you realised when he entered your line of sight, was pointing a gun at Kiki's head. He kept his distance, his stance almost professional.

"Get off me," She spoke after awhile of silence. "And I'll tell them what I told you."

For whatever stupid reason, you believed her.

You believed, for a second, that she was actually going to make her confession and try to survive this, somehow. Jackson never took to execution as a form of punishment, so she had higher chances of staying alive that way.

Instead, as soon as you lowered your arm and simultaneously pulled your hand away from her throat, she grabbed you by your shirt's collar.

Everything happened so fast.

You gasped and shouted when you felt her teeth sink into the left side of your throat, dangerously close to the artery. Before she could completely bite off your skin, you embedded the knife in your hand to the side of her neck. Twice.

The tension in your body, the fear and anger you felt– everything came out on her neck. You stabbed her neck reflexively and as soon as she let your neck and shoulders go, you stopped, threw her back on the ground and fell on your back.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" You grimaced, panting and holding your neck as you backed away from Kiki where you sat. You stopped crawling back when your back hit one of the armchair across the sofa.

The outside voices started to drown out as you pulled your hand away from your neck to see a mix of blood smeared across your hand. Your head hurt so much; the beating of your own heart, the voice ringing in your ear– too much blood–

"(Y/N), christ!" Eugene knelt beside you immediately, followed by Ellie and Jesse. Mike, Jessica and the other person stood, dumbfounded and shocked, as Kiki gave her last breath.

"No, oh god, what did I do?" Tears finally started rolling down your cheeks as you panted, visions of old memories covered in blood flashing under your eyelids making you hyperventilate.

Joel... Where is Joel...

"You protected yourself, (Y/N), it's okay! Breathe!" Eugene ran a hand through his hair, then held you by the shoulders hesitantly.

"(Y/N)," Ellie spoke worriedly: "(Y/N), you're okay– it's okay."

You put your hands on your ears in an attempt to drown out the noises, tried opening your eyes but the images weren't going away: "I can't– can't breathe," You held onto Eugene's arms. "You're– Is she–?"

Your question died on your tongue when he pulled you into a hug, putting your chin on his shoulder, then turned to the side so you didn't see Kiki's now lifeless body: "(Y/N), we need to get you to Katherine, you're bleeding."

"She was trying to stab her?" Katherine.

"Yeah, then she said she was gonna confess something she had confessed to (Y/N), but bit her nearly in the damn artery instead." Eugene.

"And whose bright idea was it to let 'em talk alone?" Tommy.

"Mine," You weakly replied as you slowly opened your eyes.

"Jesus christ, (Y/N)," Tommy sighed, relieved, and sat to your right. You were back in the hospital, where Doctor Katherine, Eugene and Tommy had been waiting for you to wake up.

"We should put my name up outside," You said stiffly, in an attempt to make a joke. "Seems like I won't stop waking up in this room."

Katherine was sat to your left– she put a hand against your forehead, then the back of it: "I got a fever?"

"You had a mild fever while I was operating–"

"Woah, hold on– operating?" You sat up, holding your neck to find it patched up. "Was it that bad?"

"She almost tore out the meat, that crazy–" Eugene spoke, but huffed with frustration halfway.

"I don't wanna rush you," Tommy put a hand on your shoulder and gave you a worried look. "But I need you to tell me what happened."

You and Eugene exchanged a worrisome look: "Just back there, or right from the beginning?"

"Everything," Tommy said after awhile. You gave Katherine a hesitating look, which she didn't notice, but sighed and began telling everything: from the dirty looks you got, to the symbolism of flowers and the night before Ward's death; then how some townspeople were riled up against you, and finally how she confessed to everything and attacked you, ultimately resulting in her death. Tommy went a little pale throughout, especially when you told him of her confession– Same with Eugene. Katherine looked devastated.

"Some folk ain't gonna believe this," Tommy said with an apologetic look on his face.

"Well, fuck 'em– I believe her." Eugene shook his head from where he was leaning against the windowsill. You offered a brief smile.

"I believe you too, but it just sounds too absurd, no offence," Tommy said, scratching his beard. "A damn maniac and his psycho wife... Then this whole– confession?"

You just sighed and looked down, where you had been playing with your fingernails and tips nervously: "To be frank, I don't owe anyone in this town a goddamn thing, except for maybe Katherine here. I'm not gonna try and convince a bunch of people, who have no place in my business, that I'm right or whatever. I did what I had to– and I have you all, so..."

Katherine took your hand in hers, giving it a soft squeeze: "That you do. We got you (Y/N), you're safe."

You gave them all half a smile, struggling not to cry but you managed to keep your tears to yourself. Tommy smiled, tsked and put his hands on his hips: "Well, now I'm worried about how Joel's goin' to react."

"React to what?" Came a tired voice from the door, the voice of your husband who was supposed to be away at a run.

"Joel?" Tommy's shocked tone mixed with yours, which was laced with both relief and disbelief.

"Tony got injured before we could make it out the county, Earl and I had to bring him back," He said from the door, slowly walking in and taking Katherine's place by your side: "Ran into Daisy, said my lovely wife managed to land herself here again."

He put his hand through your hair and combed it back, giving you a solemn yet soft look, then kissed your forehead and kept his lips pressed there for a few seconds. He then pulled back and gently looked at your neck: "What happened?"

—————

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future-dregs · 3 years ago

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Keeping The Fantasy Alive.

(Or, my breakdown of the episode, Life With Father)

All through the episode Hawkeye is seeking a diversion. (The previous episode being the one in which they believed Trapper would be going home, which brought forth all sorts of clumsy emotions that had to then be hastily restuffed once they realized he was staying, this comes as no surprise).

Saddened at his lack of mail (he's lonely he's at loose ends, he doesn't have anyone or anything to keep him company), Hawkeye grabs onto a junk flyer marked 'current occupant' and he and Trapper spend the rest of the episode trying to find the hidden presidents on the sheet, and thus win themselves the prize of a shetland pony.

They keep the paper with them constantly, examining it under a microscope, even taking it into the X-ray room with them. They discuss names for their pony, and make jokes about taking photographs with and of it.

At the end, Hawkeye even manages to procure a horse from…somewhere.

He rides in, declares to Trapper that its "practice" for their pony, Trapper takes a running jump, loops his arms around Hawkeye's waist, and they ride off out of camp.

This is all a distraction, that Trapper willing plays into, that everything is fine and dandy and there's no problems whatsoever except for where the last damn president is at.

Hawkeye is particularly petulant in this episode, snatching papers, pouting, and using a remarkably childish voice whenever he says the word "pony".

He's not outright clingy, but he wants Trapper's attention and company. Trapper (I think) can very easily recognize this as his emotional defensive behavior coming out to bat, and so willingly gives it, slipping seamlessly into Hawkeye's childlike fantasy of owning a pony all their own (doesn't every kid want a pony? Not a horse, a pony). He goes along with it, playing pretend.

Both men know they won't actually get the pony, even if they did manage to be the ones selected for the winning prize there's no way in hell it'd get shipped out here, but both are also unwilling to do anything at all to break the illusion.

This is a fantasy land. Where knights come in on white chargers, persistence is rewarded, everthing is seen through a dewy celluloid film, and nothing unpleasant happens.

Trapper is shown multiple times over to be the clearheaded one. He'll goof off and have fun and try to ignore and forget things just as much as the next guy, but he cannot delude himself. There would be no ceasefire, war doesn't just end in a way he can get away from, and he and Hawkeye rely on alcohol far too much to be anything but addicted to it.

He can't fully give himself over to fantasy, losing himself in it for a few precious moments the way Hawkeye can. (It is in fact this reason that Hawkeye can indulge this in himself at all. Because Trapper is there to tether him back down).

But the thing is...he'd seen Hawkeye.

He'd seen his face light up when he realized that the ulcer meant (so they'd thought) safety and trip home and a way out, a way to be sure of his survival. And he'd seen it fall a second later, though quickly masked, when Hawkeye's brain caught up with his elation and he realized what this also meant...that he would be alone.

He'd seen professional concern transform into giddiness, fall into a quick despair and then hurriedly morph itself back into a facimilated happiness, with only little cracks splintering at the edges to give him away.

And he'd seen him at his farewell party, red rimmed and cracking jokes, trying to keep the party moving so that he didn't drown in it. When he'd made his announcement, he'd glanced over, and seen the mask shatter.

Trapper couldn't go home, and Hawkeye was crushed.

He was also vulnerable. He'd brought his emotions, his true feelings, up to the front, he'd been about as honest and unguarded as he'd ever been, not knowing if he'd have another chance, and now Trapper was staying. The honesty creating an uncomfortable home for them to live in, and Trapper could see Hawkeye immediately begin damage control, stuffing things back down again to a level where he felt safe.

And Trapper knows this, he sees all of it. So the very next opportunity he can, he indulges Hawkeye.

He feeds the whim, and he let's there be playtimes and fancies and idyllic white horses, for a day.

#Trapper John McIntyre #Hawkeye Pierce #M*a*s*h #Mash #mash 4077 #Own meta #This kinda got away from me a little bit #But damn #It's been a long time since I've tried to write out my thoughts or deal up some meta #I'm pretty out of practice with it #Even to menit sounds like I'm infantilizing Hawkeye when I talk about him #But I'm not! It's just that when overwhelming stressful things happen to him when he really and truly reaches the brink #He reverts a little bit #And my vocabulary has taken a hit recently and this is the best I can do #I've looked at this too long #I'll probably see some problems with it in a minute #But now I'm just gonna put it out

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lynxmuse · 3 years ago

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I am a longtime fan of Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers. During the Disney Afternoon era I saw each episode dozens upon dozens of times (since they repeated every 3 months or so). When I discovered them on the French station, I was most excited as it was like watching them anew. I collected the comics and wrote in to the letters page.* Various figurines and plush still grace my shelves. And no question, getting a photo with them in their RR garb made me giddy with delight.

So into that comes the new CDRR movie released on D+. When the first trailers for it dropped, I certainly had my reservations: If they wanted to make Roger Rabbit 2, why don’t they just do that? Will the world building be poor? Aren’t the washed up actors and estranged pals tropes already heavily mined? And haven’t we already passed both peak meta and peak nostalgia pandering? Not to mention this was being made by Walt Disney Pictures, the branch of Disney that has spent the past years producing nothing but retreads, remakes, or retellings of some sort of previous IP that have often ended up being soulless, uninteresting, or even disastrous takes on them.**

That said, I also could see that if the relationship between C&D and their interactions were well handled, it could make for something compelling and powerful. If they could tap into facets of the original series with a spirit that rings true, it could be a great new take with real rescuing and ranger-ing. There could be a path forward. Maybe!

Perhaps strangely… in the end all of the above came to pass. (Potential spoilers ahead!)

I’ve watched the movie twice before writing this, to be sure I was getting the full sense of it. And where I’m left somewhat torn.

To start, there is plenty of potential here, in no small part because they (correctly) realized that it is Chip & Dale’s relationship that lies at the core of all their stories. Right from when they made their first appearance in the Donald Duck cartoons, that best friend / frenemy dynamic is what makes them endearing and such a delight. And it is what drives many of their narratives, including in the TV series. Fortunately, the writers did recognize this and made it central to the story here. There’s a lot of good compelling stuff that could come out of it.

The themes that are broached also hold great potential: notions of fame, of living in the past and/or trying to recapture former glory, insecurities, and the ongoing commodification of art. And while the “washed up actor(s)” bit feels like it’s been already used a bunch of late, it’s still an interesting framing vehicle and is used well here, with Chip and Dale each dealing with the end of the show and their subsequent breakup in a different way, with Chip withdrawn and trying to ignore/forget it while Dale overcompensates and is being maniacally gregarious.

And dovetailing (Ducktailing?) off all those is the ur-theme of the commodification of not just art but the actors themselves, and what happens to them and, even more importantly, how we treat them when they are no longer in the limelight or have gotten stale, lived past their prime, or even pushed out

Throughout Chip & Dale are mostly on-model in terms of their personality and traits and ways of being, and there are interactions throughout between Chip and Dale that ring true.

So, a great starting point with some great material to work with and dive into. Plenty of promise!

However… alas… much of the execution doesn’t live up to that promise. Things are not followed through. The movie comes off in a very rote and paint-by-numbers fashion, with few of the themes truly engaged with in any way, whether to explore them, comment on them, learn from them, make them part of the plot, or whatever. They’re on the periphery like window dressing, but with little to add to the meat and meaningfulness of the story.

Worse, the storytelling is weak and ham-handed enough such that in the end little feels truly earned. All too often the movie relies on the characters describing something rather than doing the work to have it be an integral (and palpable) part of the world/narrative. This is doubly unfortunate when it comes to the characters themselves, with them stating things rather than simply being it (such that we can see their actions and track things without them needing to tell us about it). So many of moments in the movie come off as “they are saying this now because this is the part of the movie where this has to happen”*** rather than it organically coming forth into crowning moments of heartwarming or awesome. All in all, the story and storytelling doesn’t end up having the emotional resonance it could have had.

Which leads to my other prediction/concern that came to pass: There is a constant and relentless attempt at gags that I really think hurt the story. This relentless pursuit often leaves them desperately reaching such that many of the attempted gags feel shallow or threadbare. Often gags don’t land or, at best, elicit a minor chuckle. And then thre’s how they often fixate on a particular gag for Way. Too. Long.

Worse, though, is that many of the gags are isolated and not related to the plot or to the story or to the themes. They come off as gags for the sake of gags, because that’s what they are. And thus they feel hollow and meaningless. But the ultimate nail is how often they feel the need to have the characters directly set up, call attention to, and yes worst of all, explain the gag or joke. That’s… not good. (A clear example of this is the silly putty joke. Yes, we see it. We get it. It’s quite amusing and fits in well with the world! Great! But now you’re explicitly calling attention to it, explaining it and… just why?)

Gags I would totally expect and would even totally want in a movie like this. That’s a core of the “brand”! But the movie goes overboard to a level that detracts from and takes focus away from the actual story being told. Greater development of the narrative and storytelling while relegating many of the gags to the background would create a better balance (while also eliminating the need to reach for those threadbare gags) would have allowed the themes, the characters, and their relationships to be featured, developed, and to fully resonate.

Unfortunately, the caper at the heart of the plot is also lacking. As Rescue Ranger story the caper ought to be… well, OK, to be fair the ones in the TV show were often quite a bit nonsensical. But that was the TV show, which is now a TV show inside of the movie, which means this movie is in the “real world”, and it’s also longer than a TV show… what I’m trying to say is that just as Zootopia’s caper is central to its plot, and just how Zootopia’s caper is the vehicle for all of its amazing philosophical and storytelling goodness, the caper this CDRR movie needed to be equally as solid. But! There are some noticeable holes in it: 1) the toons are preyed upon after falling behind on debts but 2) nothing really about their kidnapping seems to rely on them being in debt? Any ol’ washed up toon would seem ripe for it, even without being in dept. 3) While the bootleg thing is amusing, 4) the fact that Pete is running this operation because he got old is weird both 5) because it doesn’t appear that toon old age is much of a thing for everyone else? And 6) if he has a super machine that can perform cosmetic surgery of all kinds then 7) couldn’t he have just made himself look young again or 8) taken on a new svelte identity and started anew as the boy symbol he wants to be? 9) And, as an aside, if literal erasers are able to remove the mouths of toons then 10) shouldn’t redrawing of said toons also be a thing?

(Also, there’s an aspect to the caper that is unsettling, namely the real-world (as in the real-real-world not the in-movie-real-world – this gets confusing) history of what happened with Peter Pan’s actor, Bobby Driscoll. The short of it is that Bobby, hired at 10, was the darling of the Disney system and appeared in a number of movies plus voice acting roles. But eventually he was unceremoniously dropped by Disney and, reportedly, even banned from re-entering the studio. Things did not go well for him, and he died alone on a park bench at age 31. To make light of this and/or to mine this to create a villain to be defeated is very questionable.)

Lastly, the cameos. As expected for its premise, this movie is rife with them…. and let me say I am genuinely AMAZED and I marvel (pun semi-intended) at just how many cross-IP characters there are, not only from within Disney but from oodles of outside studios. It’s most impressive! My Little Pony! Old Coke commercials! Batman! Lego! Dragon Ball! Voltron! Loony Toons (minorly)! Those other chipmunks… (though, amusingly, Disney kinda owns them now through Fox). And even cameos from Dreamworks, which, if you know the history of Dreamworks & Disney, is an astounding thing indeed. Kudos to the team (and their lawyers) for the effort it took to get all of those. Much like Roger Rabbit (and in a slightly different vein, Wreck It Ralph), it makes for a more believable world/world building where toons are “real” to have this wide swath of characters.

And to that, most of the cameos could be background things and be totally fine. And most are, and it is mostly fine! Except where they turn the cameo into a gag… which often inherits all of the issues I noted above. That said, it would have been nicer to have a few of the cameos try to tie into a theme and/or be something specific about that character. There was an opportunity with Ugly Sonic, where it could have been great to rope in the theme ridicule and when actors/etc are unceremoniously cast out (especially since that’s the supposed theme for the main villain as well) but… no, they instead reached for a gag about his teeth and then fixate on it on not just once, but repeat the same gag a second time, and then use the idea yet a third time because that horse isn’t yet dead enough.

On the whole, the worldbuilding was not bad. The furgonomics and furchitecture aren’t as complete as Zootopia’s (but then again, what is?) but there was still an attempt to make at least some things appropriate for toons of all sizes to live in and among the humans. Yet, oddly, much was also not. Monty’s appt building is a fun and well-done example, but while Chip’s house is small it’s also appears to be on a regular human-sized lot in a human-sized area? So it isn’t complete. But I’m still glad they did put in some effort to make toons and their size difference feel like a real part of the “real” world.

The bits between Chip and his dog Milli are pawsitively adorable!

The animation of C&D is mostly good, and I like the difference in their styles!

It’s really great when C&D are doing chipmunk-y things, like when they casually climb down the outside of Monty’s apartment building.

It’s interesting that half the CDRR episodes they reference are real/released ones, and half were not. Was it done to pad out how long the show had been running in the movie, or were they doing it for self-convenience so they could invent episodes to fit their plot points rather than doing the work to find the elements they needed in the real cartoons?

For all I noted above of what didn’t work when it comes to gags, there are some killer gags that do work exquisitely, mainly because they (properly) remain in the background: the sign that reads “Wrong Side” on the edge of the train tracks, battering rams, the firework joke, “And I regretted it instantly!” (which also fits into Dale’s character), and oh wow, Lego Miserables is totally a movie I would love to see them make.

Though that Wrong Side gag is good, narratively and world-building-ly it’s a bit weird, because C&D go to the wrong side of the tracks and start down this shady bit before emerging onto… a shining happy main street full of people who seem oblivious to the underbelly. If it’s that shiny and popular, wouldn’t it have a more direct and less sketchy access?

There’s a fun cameo of two of Fat Cat’s accomplices hiding blurred in the background on Main St.

For whatever reason, I really loved Lumiere’s performance in this.

It was great that Tress MacNeille got to reprise the voice for both Gadget as well as high-pitched Chip (as she did Chip’s voice in the TV series). Ditto for Corey Burton and Dale, and C&D arguing in their old Donald Duck cartoon style was fun.

Interestingly, Tress’ voice for Gadget here was not exactly the same; I’m not sure if that was intentional (Gadget’s “real” voice vs her TV voice, same as C&D) or if she couldn’t quite get it again.

Also, never forget, that Jim Cummings is a treasure.

Captain Putty’s fight with Ellie is very creative and fun, making good use of his malleable body. Also, the slight twitchiness of his animation to match the stop-motion aesthetic is good.

I really wonder why they call the fake movies bootlegs – that’s not the term I’ve heard associated with it. Mockbusters is generally the term used for the knockoff movies used to hoodwink people at checkout lines. So… why bootleg?

I don’t remember anything in the CDRR cartoon ever being as toony as the cartoon bird trick. One of the neat things about the TV show was that they mostly played it straight, so why deviate from that here? Again, just like inventing new episodes it feels like lazy writing and lack of understanding or respect for the original material.

And to that end I’m surprised that in general there are not more allusions to the TV show. Or maybe I embarrassingly missed them, in which case I’ll need to turn in my RR cred…

While seeing the Ranger Plane was neat, I really wish they’d used the Ranger Wing instead. For no reason other than I think it’s a 100x cooler aircraft.

I am not a fan of the continued BS trope that police can’t do their job because of rules, and if they could just do whatever they want they could solve all the cases. We’ve seen very much real-world examples of just how much police often already run roughshod over rules, people, and communities.

I’ve noted it above, but I have to say it again… The amount of spoken exposition in this movie is downright astounding to me. It is shocking just how the writers seem to feel some odd, contestant, need to have some character or other explain every single plot point that is happening, or explain every single character development, or explain every single damn joke or gag. I’m flummoxed. “Show, don’t tell,” as the adage goes. And absolutely, as with all adages it can be taken too far, but there’s a reason why it exists as an adage.

And as for the jokes… if you need to spend minutes setting up the joke, and/or need to explain the joke, then perhaps you should find a better joke.

The ending credit sequence is pretty cool! And the remix song ain’t all that bad either.

I’m mixed about it all. As a longtime fan who would love to see an actual reboot or continuation, I think the movie’s concept is fine**** and could see some cool stuff coming out of it (including leading to said continuation of a CDRR series). There were plenty of bits and aspects that I enjoyed and seeing the team in action again was a joy. And in those moments where things truly come together, and when the movie remembers where to apply its focus, it can be great and the magic of C&D’s relationship is there.

But those moments are just moments, surrounded by a morass of lessor execution and without a strong throughline that could make them transcendent. It didn’t follow through or fulfill on its promise, and it left me wanting.

And therein lies the rub. While I didn’t mind watching it a second time I don’t foresee myself watching it a third (or more). There’s not enough there to make it worthwhile, and I can savour in my memory the good bits without subjecting myself to the greater amount of lacking bits.

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* …and those letters shall forever be an… interesting and visible part of my history.

** As opposed to, and it’s important to emphasize again, Walt Disney Animation, which has produced some amazingly new and fresh and well told work.

*** Not that direct heart-to-heart talks are bad per se, but better storytelling has a mix of showing as well as the H2H talks, and you can see that things are leading to those H2H talks so that when they happen they feel genuine and are impactful.

**** Especially given that C&D’s as the stars of the TV show was already a reinvention of sorts.

#rescue rangers #chip & dale #CDRR #disney #movies #disney afternoon #chip n dale rescue rangers

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vinvantae · 3 years ago

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ᴛᴡɪɴ ꜰʟᴀᴍᴇ

Part 16/25

<< Previous Part

Rating - Mature

Warnings - Mentions of sex, alcohol, explicit language

******************************************

You were so disappointed; you’d always wanted to do a F1 race at spa but the rain absolutely pissing it down has ruined your chances. You’d done two laps behind the safety car and the race was currently red flagged - the rain had screwed your qualifying yesterday so you were stuck in 9th.

Dan had managed to get up to 4th which was really good for him but he was a little frustrated that he wasn’t able to race it too. After a brief interview with Sky he came over to you and looped his arms around your middle. He’d joked that this race probably seemed like an episode of the Office with all of the clips of the drivers playing around in the garage - Lando was currently having a nap.

“I’m so disappointed that we can’t race” You sighed softly. “I’ve never got to do it in my Redbull before.”

“One day, baby.” He purred softly. “Besides, you spun yesterday and Lando got hurt. Don’t want to risk your life just for a race.”

“The poor fans.”

“Hey… come with me.”

He took your hand and pulled you over to a small gap in the barrier between the pits and the track where the fans could clearly see you. The Australian threw you a smile before attempting to get the crowd to do a Mexican wave. The first attempt was pathetic, but the second time around they were all cheering and waving in perfect sync.

You smiled fondly, even when he was bummed about the race - he was doing his best to make sure everyone else was happy. He spent his day watching videos with his team, goofing around with Michael and of course sneaking off with you.

He’d been asked in his interview why, compared to all the other drivers, he seemed to be really high energy still. The Australian had said it was because he didn’t want to lose his momentum so napping wasn’t an option for him. The truth was really the two of you had been having sex in every private nook you could squeeze yourselves into and both of you were high of the adrenaline of being potentially caught. You felt like a pair of giddy kids in love and you were having so much fun with him.

You felt your cheeks heat up when Max bumped into you and Daniel coming out of the Redbull garage after a particularly intense round in your driver’s room.

“Dan mate, get off your back and do some of the work, man!” The Dutchman teased, making Dan run his hand over the back of his head to readjust the curls that had been ruined by exactly that.

“Oh trust me, he does plenty.” You smirked, raising a brow and making the Dutchman recoil.

“Ugh, don’t make me picture it.” Max mock gagged, earning a shove from his former teammate.

Dan looped his arm around your waist. “You’re all just jealous that I get to tap this.”

“Hey.” You whined, jabbing him in the side. “What have I told you about objectifying me like that!”

The three of you headed back down to the track as it was rumoured the FIA were going to make their decision on the outcome of the race. You wanted them to cancel and reschedule for tomorrow but unfortunately you knew that this was going to be about money for them.

You were all instructed to return to your cars while the rain was absolutely lashing it down. You could practically hear Vettel yelling about the state of the track from where you were on the grid - he’d been the one who insisted on the red flag before Lando was injured. The idea of racing again had clearly angered him to no end and a lot of you felt the same. It was dangerous when even Max, at the front of the grid, couldn’t see a thing.

Dan pressed a kiss against your helmet before pulling on his own. “Good luck.”

“Stay safe.”

Your team lifted the top off your car so you could slip into it. God, this is dumb.

The race ended up being over after two more laps after the safety car and you were all awarded half points with Max, George and Lewis on the podium. You only received one point but thankfully Lando and Bottas - your two biggest rivals - didn’t get any points so your lead on them stayed. Next up would be Max’s home race, the big one, he had to win.

Dan jogged over to you after the race with an umbrella over his head. “Wanna get out of here?”

“Please. We’ve gotta head straight to Zandvoort in the morning… I need some cuddles with my favourite cute koala.” You keened softly, stepping under his umbrella.

“I love it when you’re all cheesy.”

“What can I say, you bring it out of me.” You giggled.

The pair of you made it back to the hotel fairly quickly and packed up anything you didn’t need tonight or first thing in the morning. You collapsed onto the bed and curled up under the duvet with a soft yawn.

“Baby girl.” He chuckled, stroking your forehead. “Are you really just going to fall asleep?”

“Tired. Today was mentally exhausting.” You mumbled.

He slipped under the duvet beside you and pulled you into his warm chest. You took a deep breath in and just enjoyed his smell - there was a comforting nature to it; he smelt how the earth did after rain. Fresh. Peaceful. There was no other scent on Earth that grounded you in the same way. It was just him.

“I think I just want to stay here forever.”

“Me too.” His voice was soft, tired. “But I know you’ll hate me if I let you fall asleep with jeans on. Besides, we’re going for dinner with a couple of the boys.”

“Ughhh.” You groaned. “Do we have to?”

“Yes, darling. We do. Your teammate and my best friend is waiting for us there.”

You looked up at him from where your face had been buried, he was looking at you with a fondness that made your insides feel all warm and gooey like a marshmallow. “How did it take me this long to realise how madly in love with you I am?”

“I don’t know, I’m pretty fucking awesome.”

You lightly smacked his chest and slid out of bed to change into something else for the evening - you wanted to look nice but be much more comfortable. Dan turned on the tv while you were changing and the sound of Alex’s voice filled the room.

“We were all disappointed to hear you’d lost your seat. What do you think of y/n’s season so far?” The interviewer asked.

“Yeah man, it sucked. Unfortunately not all of us can sleep our way into a seat.”

Dan tried to shut off the TV but it was too late, you’d grabbed the remote and turned it up. Is he serious? You could almost feel the steam coming out of your ears.

“That fucking twat! We said we would be civil!”

“I wouldn’t say that’s fair” The interviewer spoke up against the former Redbull driver. “If that was the case she would be McLaren. And you’ve seen her performance this season, she’s been phenomenal.”

Alex blushed and stuttered uncomfortably as he tried to come up with a sufficient comeback but the press had clearly put him in his place.

“Hey, looks like the media has your back.” Dan said softly, taking the remote out of your tense grip.

“In fact-“ The reporter continued, clearly unimpressed by Alex’s comment. “With silly season coming up, I wouldn’t be surprised if multiple teams try to steal her from Redbull. No one has been a good partner for Max since Dan until now.”

“Who is this woman, I love her.” You chuckled softly, finally turning the tv off. “Remind me to send her a thank you note.”

“I will. Now, let’s get to dinner.”

You met Max, Lando and Charles for dinner at a local pub; you were seated in a nice quiet corner away from the general masses. Dan had a lazy arm draped across the back of your chair as he browsed the food menu.

“I can’t believe what Albon said.” Max spoke up. “It was out of line.”

You shrugged. “I’m trying not to let it bother me and be the bigger person. I know I earned my seat; he’s just bitter.”

“I hear he’s trying to get back on the grid next season.”

“Oh yeah? With who? Alpha tauri seems pretty set on Pierre and Yuki for another season and, fingers crossed, Redbull are keeping me with Max.”

“Williams.”

“Does that mean George is finally going to Merc?”

“As far as I heard. Nothing’s been signed officially yet because they need to wait for Kimi to announce his retirement.”

You nodded solemnly- you knew Kimi’s time in F1 would’ve come to an end soon but you were hoping to share a grid with the legend a little longer than a year. He always shared quiet compliments with you about your drives after the race ended.

“I’ve just really enjoyed this season and I really hope Redbull gives me another chance, y’know?”

“Babe. Neither Pierre or Alex have even come close to how you’ve been performing this season.” Dan gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “They’d be stupid if they dropped you.”

“Christian is still bitter about us and I’m worried he’ll use it against me.” You sighed softly, leaning against his side.

“I’ll kick up shit if they dare try anything.” Max said, meeting your eyes across the table. “You’re phenomenal and one of the best teammates, sorry Dan, the best teammate I’ve ever had and they’d be insane to lose you just because you’re shagging that idiot.”

Dan grinned proudly and you thanked Max. Your boyfriend left the table with Dutchman to go get another round of drinks so you were left with Charles and Lando.

“How are you feeling Lando? That crash was pretty gnarly yesterday, I was worried about you.” You asked.

“I’ll be alright. Still feeling a bit achy but I’ll be all ready to go by next weekend.” He smiled softly. “How are you feeling? Not your best finish.”

“Honestly? I know we didn’t get to race but Dan qualifying 4th and then finishing there? I’m so happy for him. I’m hoping that this is the beginning of lots of good results for him… this has been a tough season..”

“He was really hoping that coming to us would help him break the streak of bad luck he was having but it seemed like he was in a slump. I really want him to do well - he deserves to be back on the podium.”

Dan and Max returned, placing the drinks on the table before your boyfriend leant down to give you a tender kiss. He smiled down at you. “Hi.”

“Hi. Missed you.” You returned the smile, placing a hand on his thigh as he retook his seat beside you.

“Missed you too, darling.” He chuckled fondly. “What were you all talking about?”

“How you’re gonna be back on the podium any day now.” Your voice was soft, almost private for his ears - the others took the subtle hint and began to chat amongst themselves. “Preferably with me.”

“You really think so?” There was a hopeful glisten in the pools of molten caramel of his eyes as he stared deep into yours.

“I know so. You’ve worked so hard for it. I know the car doesn’t match the way you drive but you’ve come so far since you joined McLaren and I think you’re finally coming into your own.”

He pressed a soft kiss to your lips. “You’re wonderful… and just because I don’t think I ever said it, I’m sorry for what I said way back when about you only being good because you’re in a Redbull. You’d top the grid in a Haas any day.”

You rolled your eyes playfully and brought a hand up to cup his face, brushing your thumb over his stubble. He leant into your touch and let out a content sigh.

“I’m so proud of you.” You whispered.

“You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that. I want to win… but knowing that you’ve got my back no matter what? Means everything to me.”

“We’ll get you that win, Danny. I know it.”

You smiled fondly as he moved in to kiss you once more, your three friends so used to the PDA at this point they paid no mind to it. As much as you wanted Redbull to win the championship, you really wanted Dan on the podium. You wanted Dan to win. You knew it would do wonders for his self esteem and although he liked to pretend to be happy all the time, you’d seen how broken he was when things didn’t go his way.

You didn’t know when the win would come but it was definitely on the horizon and Daniel Ricciardo would get to lift a 1st place trophy once again.

************************************************

Next Part >>

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myponderingstate · 3 years ago

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episode eleven

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers.

My sister watched this episode before I did and I asked her how was it? And she told me that it's painful.

So by the time I was watching it, you don't know how much I was bracing myself from the start for every scene that could possibly be another sob fest.

It was so lovely to see how Woong has been sort of planning for their future and wanting Yeonsoo's consent and approval. He doesn't just push what he wants but practices mutual-respect.

How the story unfolds on how Yeonsoo and Woong came to the point of being honest with their feelings was so subtle and impactful.

Taking into consideration remembering important dates from Yeonsoo's part and looking for Woong. Wherever he could be.

Thus, how everything came together from Woong's part. How Jjongjjong find it in herself to break out of her shell and not to be held back by past hurtful experiences. How grandma opened up about Yeonsoo's past actions that might have been tormenting him. And Woong coming to the realization that Yeonsoo has always been taking care of him.

So when Yeonsoo said along the lines of “I finally found you, Choi Woong,” I melted. Cause it always felt like Woong just wanted to be found. To be seen.

Yeonsoo being genuinely honest for not wanting to be friends felt like a cue for Woong to lay bare his vulnerable heart about missing her, about wanting her to continuously love him. And my heart goes to him a lot more because it seemed like he was begging for love, to be loved, always. Yeonsoo choosing him over and over again in a heartbeat is so heartwarming. This sit down, one-on-one, heart-to-heart talk, I don't have any words, but pure admiration.

This episode, as much as the previous ones, has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. But the amount of happiness I felt when they were giggling together in the epilogue was such a soft tickle on my heart. I was so giddy for them. Then, I cannot handle when Woong started talking about his past. The moment he cried, maaaan, I was bawling with him too. I appreciated that they were there for each other.

This was such a painfully beautiful episode. And I love that they're back together again.

#our beloved summer #choi wooshik #kim da mi #choi woong #kook yeon soo #netflix

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captainstarkky · 3 years ago

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Bad Buddy Series Episode 7 RECAP and a Quick Episode Breakdown

It’s weird to make ‘love’ a competition. Because for sure, everyone is already on the losing end. It’s weird, but it’s true; it’s ‘play with fire and you’ll get burned’ kind of thing. It never ends well.

Not writing a discourse about this, but that’s the gist of what’s the seventh episode of Bad Buddy is trying to tell us (their viewers).

On my previous posts, I kinda talked alot with my recaps. Basically summarizing every inch of the story so far, but for now, I’ll just skip minor things and just get on the sweet parts.

But before that, a quick recap of my previous post:

After Pran saved Pat from Wai’s plan, they came into a stalemate and decided to fight it off in a competition as to who will fall in love first.

EPISODE 7 RECAP

And now we’re in Episode 7. The episode casually opens with a large sign in the screen telling us that our boys advanced to second years.

Pat, who now has, a new ride casually takes a selfie and sends it to Pran who was next door – asking the now-second year architecture guy if he’d like him to give him (Pran) a ride.

The mischievous smile on his face dissipates as Pa, his younger sister, opened the door. She was wearing a freshman uniform from the same university. She smiles as she got in, slamming the door behind her. Pat frowned and tells Pa to be careful, she might be scratching his car (lol, he could’ve been more attentive to his sister). Pa rolled her eyes, slamming her brother with the fact that he’s lucky he’s the firstborn son so he got to have everything first. Pat, not taking it to heart, grinned and told her to stop being too whiney about it; and that she’s already a university student so she should tone down her whines and nags. Pa furrowed her brows asking her brother what he means, shifting her eyes to his phone then asking who he was messaging. Pat shook his head, dismissing the subject telling her that he was messaging no one, and then immediately changing the topic back to her sister.

UGH, I DON’T BLAME SOME GMMTV BOYS CRUSHING ON LOVE, REALLY.

Pat tells her that since she’s changed her style, she should prepare herself for potential suitors – subtly complimenting her while roasting her at the same time. Pa faked a laugh, leaning in close to Pat’s face before asking Pat how many guys hit on him when he was first year (remember that Pat also wore contacts when he was in his first year). Pat just rolled his eyes at Pa, telling her that he already had his LASIK so he doesn’t need glasses or contacts anymore.

Meanwhile, the other person from the other side of the deal was checking his phone, smiling nonstop. They were having their breakfast, and for Pran to be more focused on his phone it was unusual. So his mom called him which startled Pran back to reality. She asks him who he was messaging with Pran just smiling, telling her that it was a friend. Pran’s feelings meaningfully beamed at their son, teasing him if it was really. Pran, obviously giddy, said that it was. His dad ignored this and told Pran that they don’t mind him having a lover, and his mom seconded even reiterating that she doesn’t care what gender his lover identifies with (they were fine if Pran brought home a boy, tbh. That was a green flag for this family) however, she asks Pran to date or even bring home anyone ... anyone but the boy next door (now that is the red flag).

Pat and Pran have likely been flirting with each other since the beach, based on what they said. And up until they were second years, both of them are still flirting with each other whenever they can – holding hands every time they met and regularly visiting each other's rooms, tending on each other’s injuries and even texting one another during class. Of course, discreetly so that their their friends don’t notice.

Pa, on the other hand, was roaming around her faculty. As a freshman, the whole college experience was new to her, and she wanted to learn as much as she could. However, because of a freak incident (she just bumped someone, the ‘freak incident’ is an over-exaggeration lol) she dropped one of her contacts. She was looking for it when a familiar girl helped her with it – it was Ink. Ink asked her why isn’t she in the freshmen orientation, to which she replied in a worried tone that she was lost due to her map. Ink offered her help and they went on their way.

After suffering a shoulder injury, Pran quit the rugby team while Pat, being forced by his dad, went and tried out for the university team. Pat got easily accepted and he’s teammates with Wai.

In their faculty, Pran was together with his friends. They were in a meeting and the agenda was about their annual stage plays. The architecture faculty does this every year to raise funds for the faculty.

The newly appointed director gave them a rundown of the play he was planning. It was a ‘carefully written’ and ‘timely planned’ concept from the highly regarded classic film Plae Kao, also known as The Scar, that involved the very common theme of tragedy. After receiving a barrage of negative reactions from his chosen crew, Toto dropped the bombshell and told everyone that instead of following the normal storyline of Kwan-Riam, he planned to replicate it while giving it a unique spin by making it a boys love version (choosing a male lead for Riam who was supposed to be a woman).

The original The Scar concept involves a lot of scenes that involves musical instruments (I’ve only read the synopsis and some reviews so I’m not sure what instruments are involved) so they actually needed people who are (1) musically inclined, who will supervise the auditions, and (2) musically adept, who will supervise the sounds. And Pran’s band (with his friends) accurately fit the role. Pran was a bit reluctant, telling Wai that he won’t be working with the sounds logistics but with Wai’s persuation, Pran decided to do it for his friend.

Back in the dorms, it had been revealed that Pa shares a room with her brother instead of having her own. (probably to guard and chaperone her brother). So from a spacious, large room, Pat’s room was divided to two sides – Pa taking the bed, and Pat taking the other side; with some rearrangements, it was made possible.

In a video call with their parents, Pa informed them that she was fine living with Pat and it isn’t so bad at all. But when it’s Pat turn, his dad told him to try-out for the rugby university team. He says that he’d like to play other sports but his father insisted for rugby anyway so without much of a choice, he smiles telling him that he will. Then they asked them to eat at home at times.

After saying their goodbyes, Pa immediately confronts her brother why didn’t he tell their dad that he doesn’t want to play rugby anymore. Pat shrugs, telling Pa that his reason for wanting to play other sports is because he’s lazy (although I think that isn’t really the case, instead, he doesn’t want to play it anymore because Pran couldn’t; remember that he’d do anything just to compete with Pran and since he cannot do it anymore, there’s no point). Pa just takes what his brother said superficially and went on and complained about her orientation activities.

It’s actually cool because in Thailand (well, in most BL I’ve watched). The schools apparently practice peer mentoring system to strengthen the bond of the seniors and the juniors. So freshmen are given a senior peer mentor and this peer mentor will be the one looking after them while they’re first years. And now, Pa’s problem is that they needed to look for their peer mentor themselves. Her peer mentor gave her some snacks with a note, but she can’t figure out if it’s a girl or a boy for that matter. Pat asked Pa to give her the note, and in a glance, he immediately concluded that it came from a guy – well his criteria is honestly, as crude as his flirting skills. He then asked Pa what did she get and Pa told him it were cupcakes. Upon close inspection, Pat smirks and, once again, concluded that Pa was being hit on by a guy.

Pa rolled her eyes in a way that one could just call sarcastic and tells him to not casually point out flirting techniques because someone who haven’t succeeded before shouldn’t talk about it. Pat smirks, then tells her a name (Nan) before acting handsomely. Pa retorts with a grin and tells her that Nan tricked her in buying things for her to Pat’s dismay. Pat gently slapped her sister’s leg and Pa hit him back with a pillow, telling him to go back to his zone.

Pat just smiled, grabbing his phone. His smile widened poking his sister’s curious bones as she asked her once again who he was messaging. Pat grins and tells her: just friend before hurriedly preparing, which shocked Pa (I mean, his nasty brother actually put on body spray before going out) Pa asked where her brother was going and Pat just told her that kids doesn’t have to know.

Turns out, he was just going next door.

Pat knocked on Pran’s door which was also immediately opened for him. He smiled at Pran and asked if he was lonely. Pran snorted, telling him that he might’ve knocked on the wrong room and that he only texted him if he was available. Raising one eyebrow, Pat replied that depends on the circumstances, he might be available.

Pran brought Pat inside and asked him to repair his printer. Pat, obviously dismayed, asked Pran if he called because of it to which Pran nodded. Pran added that he needed to print something and that he’s too lazy to go to the repair shop himself. Pat sighed and told him that he really doesn’t need to do it. Pran, doing his share of the deal, told Pat in a soft voice that he wanted Pat to do it for him. Pat grinned replying in an equally soft, sweet tone that he will and proceeded to do what he needed to.

After he’s done, he announced to Pran how good of a boy he was. Pran looked at him from his dining table as Pat eyes glistened wanting for praise, and Pran didn’t hold back. Curious as to what the architecture guy was doing though, he walked to Pran to see what he was busy about and saw the food prepared by him on the table. He remarked that it’s making him hungry. Pran smiles and tells him that it’s curry and asked if he wanted some. The ever-hungry Pat said he does and Pran prepared a spoonful for him.

Pran told Pat that one of his dreams was to cook and feed his lover with his favourite dish. Pat, who was now sitting, beamed at the food in front of him when Pran asked him if he liked curry. Pat turned to Pran, shifting his sweet gaze from the food to the guy who was literally inches away from his face and nodded, telling him he does as he smiles. Pran, without saying a word, took a spoonful from the plate and hanged it inches away from Pat’s face. Pat opened his mouth, expecting the yummy dish but Pran immediately retracted back, leaning in to the now-curious Pat. He then asked if Pat likes him. Pat looks at Pran, smiling, finally getting the gist of Pran’s schemes and opens his mouth for the food, only to reply that he just ate, apologizing to Pran before feeding him with the spoonful himself. Caressing the disappointed architecture class leader’s cheeks, he stood up triumphantly and waltzed out of the room before he change his mind and devour the whole plate and even the one who prepared it, narrowly escaping his own defeat.

Pat, who was plainly unmoved, dashed back to his room to let out his giddiness at Pran's well-thought-out scheme, taking it all out to Nong Nao. Pa, who was on the other side, checked on him and asked if he’s gone coo-coo-bananas. Pat just told her that he was doing some boxing practice routines before grinning over how Pran almost won their bets.

Pat and Pran aside, there seemed to be a new ship sailing on the other faculty of their school. As per traditions, for freshmen to be acquainted with their seniors, they have this activity akin to collecting signatures. Each freshman was to get a number of signatures from their seniors; the seniors in turn would either give their signatures right away or ask the freshman to do something. Since this is a tradition, and overall to increase the interaction of the freshies to their seniors – this was over-all a fun activity. So as a freshman, Pa, together with her freshy friends, went on to gather signatures. They approached a group of male seniors to ask for their signatures. But as playful as they were, the seniors said that they won’t be giving their signatures that easily and that they needed to do something for them first. Pa smiled and told him that they can dance if they wanted to (There’s this chicken dance that is taught to them during orientation, some kind of an energizer or something?) But the male senior shook his head saying that they shouldn’t bother and that she should just give them their Line IDs. The freshmen girls looked at one another, feeling momentarily awkward with the sudden turn of events. Not until a senior, who was secretly looking from afar spoke out and told the male seniors that they weren’t allowed to bully the freshmen in any way, if it wasn’t necessary; then proceeded to collect the girls’ notes and asked each one to sign the notes. She also signed for her signature before patting Pa’s head, walking off. (Seriously suspish)

Meanwhile, Wai was still trying to convince Pran to work with the music logistics. Pran flipped the sheets, shrugging before telling Wai that he’s already working with the backdrops so there’s no reason to work with the music department. Wai told him that he should because it’s teamwork and it can give him ideas for the backdrops too. Pran, seemingly convinced, asked Wai to tell him what he knew.

Wai told Pran that Toto (the director – c’mon, I mentioned him before) already told him the gist of the story.

‘It was a story of two people, born from families who lived next to one another but never had the chance to get along. From two people who cannot be friends, to two people who cannot just be friends’

‘It was a beautiful wisteria that blossomed in the middle of winter – where it wasn’t supposed to.’

Somehow, the whole story seemed familiar.

YEAAAAAAH~ FAMILIAR.

Wai curiously stared at Pran and asked why was he smiling when the story was supposed to be a drama and not comedy. Pran nodded telling Wai that it was indeed a drama-filled story, and that he was smiling because he can see how the story would play out so well before excusing himself to hit the books (but is there really a literature for it?)

While Pran was looking for books, Pat came for him. Pat was on the other side while Pran was on one side. Pat asked him what kind of book he was looking for, Pran shrugged replying that he was looking for a guide to make someone reveal their true feelings. Pat grinned saying that he only have a guide to read a minds in 7 seconds. Pran shrugged meaningfully telling Pat that now he needs a guide to get rid of a stalker. Pat raised his brow and marched to where Pran was, leaning in and telling Pran that he came to ask for the architecture play, asking Pran if they accept non-architecture auditionees.

Pran smiles telling his boy that they do, if he’s good-looking that is and tells Pat that he shouldn’t even think about it. Pat shook his head, then telling Pran that he never said anything about joining anyway.

Actually aside from asking Pran about the audition for the architecture play, Pat came to Pran because of another reason. He apparently planned something for Pran and he needed Pran to do it. Pat asked Pran if he could return his Nong Nao to him; he had left it in Pran’s room and he apparently cannot sleep without it in his arms. Pran smiles before walking to Pat. Since the space between shelves were cramped, Pat needed to move a bit, leaning over the shelf on his back. Pran came on to Pat, leaning in close telling Pat to come get it himself and that his room isn’t locked before passing over Pat to the other side. Pat sighs before telling Pran that he can’t because he’s feeling lazy and that to forget it. Pran just went on and walked to Pat once more, whispering over his ear that he will bring it over before going his way. Pat smirks before glancing back at Pran.

This had been a daily occurrence. Both of them flirting with one another and the boys opening their doors to one another, one could say that it’s more than normal for them to walk to each other’s room, flirt around, and act like nothing happened after. This time, Pat managed to make Pran come over his room so he got to make the most of it. Two boys who doesn’t know how to flirt should make the most of their time to do so; and make the most he did.

With a make-up foundation, he planned to act sick. Pat knew Pran enough to know that he can’t ignore him when he is sick. And so he went his way to apply his sister’s make-up foundation to his lips to make him look like he’s pale (sick, probably?). And when he heard knocks, he ran over and opened the door, coughing up a bit.

Pran stood out of the room, hugging Pat’s Nong Nao when Pat opened the door for him while coughing, holding his abdomen, crouching a bit. He followed Pat inside. Once in, Pran gave Pat his Nong Nao doll and asked if he was okay. Pat nods and Pran asked if he already had his meds. In a docile voice, Pat responds that he hasn’t because Pa isn’t home. Pran raises a brow and urged him to sit down, serving him dinner so he could take his meds after eating.

And their games of teasing each other began.

Pran started it by sensually drinking from his drink, assuring that his every move were full of charm. Pat on the other hand grinned; he told Pran to give him a sponge bath first before taking his shirt off. Unfazed (more like, used to it), Pran asked where was his towel (for sponge bath). Pat shrugged, giving him the bottle Pran himself brought instead. Pran nonchalantly accepted Pat’s obvious scheme and asked him where he feels hot at. Pat pretended that he’s hot all over, and so as seductive as he can, Pran put on the bottled drink to his chest and while looking straight at Pat’s eyes, he slowly ... slowly slid his hand down to his abdomen – before Pat could stop it, teasing Pran that he was blushing.

Pran forced to hide his grin, pushing the topless Pat down to the floor (don’t ask me, there’s a mat so it doesn’t hurt), with him sitting on top. Pat, taken aback, struggled but Pran pinned him down telling him not to be stubborn because he’s sick (though Pran already realized the ruse). Pat annoyingly pouted, asking Pran back what would he do if he still wants to be stubborn. Pran grinned, putting the bottle he had in his hand over Pat’s lips, sliding it down to his abdomen before... tickling Pat in his side.

This was Pat’s weak point – and Pran knew better that if he wanted to tease him, that’s where he’s going to attack. Pat eventually tapped out and Pran very much obliged. Then Pran found his way back to Pat’s tantalizing, jet-black eyes. And then he (Pran) asked Pat whether he wanted to still stay as friends (at this point, their playful games seemed to turn serious). Pat replied with the same question, asking Pran if he wants to. Without saying a word, Pran leaned in close to Pat – close enough that if Pat jerk his head forward, their lips would touch – only to pause mid-way, telling him that he should answer first.

Then they ruined the moment by themselves by pushing each other’s feelings, once again, to the other person.

They only stopped fighting when Pa unceremoniously entered the room. It caused them to break off, Pran quickly standing then grabbing his drink taking a quick sip while Pat immediately performed an exercise routine (something I probably can’t do). Pa curiously stared at his two older brothers and asked Pat why he was shirtless. Pran just went on to escape, telling Pa that he made them dinner before rushing out of the room narrowly escaping being interrogated by Pa.

After the incident that involved Pran and his shoulder in their previous rugby game, Pran opt not to play rugby anymore. On the other hand, the athletic Pat, with the pressure from his father, tried out and easily got accepted into the university team. By the way, Wai got accepted in the same team too.

Pran came over and congratulated Wai. He purposely passed in front of Pat to tease the guy, only to go straight to Wai, hugging him, while making fun of Pat. Knowing Pran, Pat just went and kicked some balls while closely observing the two bestfriends having their conversation.

Actually, Pran and Wai’s conversation were as normal as normal. Because of Wai’s admission to the university team, he can’t make it for the audition so he was asking Pran to go in-lieu for him. Pran refused telling Wai that someone from the music team would do better, but Wai pushed forward telling him that the director trusts Pran’s decision and chose him personally. Convinced – or rather, doesn’t have a choice -, when Wai leaned in closer, he gave his nod telling his smiling bestfriend that he’d do it. Probably out of excitement, Wai went in to show some skinship (duh, let’s not try to hide it with flowery words – Wai kissed Pran’s neck lol) to Pran. Which annoyed Pat at the back who immediately kicked a ball to their direction breaking the two apart.

Pran seeing how Pat reacted smirked. It wasn’t his intention but it seemed to be swaying to his favour so he went and pressed Pat unto it, using Wai. There’s no need to be guilty because at the end of the day, Wai was also asking him a favour anyway. Plus Pat getting jealous was a spectacle to see, and well it might push him to confess his feelings so you can say that it’s beyond win-win for Pran. He just went along riling Pat as they go for a drink, leaving Pat whining like a kid’s reaction of his favourite toy being stolen.

There were two main criteria for the male main lead as written in the script: (1) a good musician and (2) someone who is good at acting. Because the play has scenes that involve playing a thai xylophone, one of the minimum requirement was the ability to play the said instrument. And that’s also where Pran comes in handy.

And so the auditions went on – and no offense but most auditionees literally did now pass Pran and even the staff’s standards. They were either bad at the xylophone or bad at acting or worse, bad at both. Well, at least one passed. It was that annoying brat with blonde highlights that doesn’t really fit his style at all. Toto told Pran that he’s going with him and to wrap-up but another staff told him that there’s still one auditionee. It was Pat – to Pran’s bewilderment.

Pat auditioning was shotgun to his part. It was probably planned but he forgot so when he re-heard that there was, he hurriedly went to the architecture faculty auditorium for it, forgetting his sticks back at his dorm. Being an overbearing brother, he asked Pa to get it for him and to hurry to Pran’s faculty (he probably lend her his car). So Pa literally scurried the whole faculty for the auditorium. She was in a hurry that she literally did not watch where she was going – and as klutz as she was (maybe it runs in their blood coz Pat is as klutz as her) she bumped to Wai. Of course, Wai, who was hotheaded to begin with literally was about to throw hands because aside from being bumped to by a junior, she did not even bother to apologize right away.

But when he saw Pa, who was uh ... beautiful and attractive enough to caught his taste, he falters, smiling at the junior. Pa apologizes and it easily coaxed Wai as he immediately asked if she was hurt somewhere. Pa hurriedly told him she’s fine and asked if he knew where the auditorium was. Wai, who literally doesn’t have an idea that it was his nemesis’ sister, also gave her directions while taking his phone out. But Pa was in a hurry, so when Wai asked for her ID, Pa already had ran off, saying her greetings to Korn who she met while running up with stairs. (Korn probably went with Pat lol. How supportive is this bestfriend).

Pat’s audition went well; Pa just arrived on time and he went on and delivered everything perfectly.

But it was probably because he was not an architecture student, Pat did not get the role. He was informed of the results by Pran in advance, immediately after the audition finished. Pat told him that it was sad because he only wanted to hit on him on a larger audience scale. Then out of nowhere, Ink popped off (I mean, can’t she have like a normal entrance y’all? She literally pops out anywhere) asking how was the audition. Pat frowned, turning to Pran. He began telling Ink how it went, saying that he did his best but he probably won’t get the role because he came from the Engineering faculty and not from the Architecture faculty.

Ink then invited Pat out for dinner to ‘comfort’ him and Pat didn’t even bother to decline, he even went his way to demand the place – all the while Pran was watching it unfold. Ink turned to Pran, inviting him with them. But Pran kindly declined Ink’s offer blurting out that he have a meeting to attend. So the two just ran off together, like children skipping steps for Santa’s free chocolates. Leaving Pran annoyingly jealous (yeah, that was Pat’s payback)

Later, Pran brought Wai – the person he was having a meeting with – to the same noodle shop where Pat and Ink went to eat. And it was obvious what happened after. They literally turned the whole place into a warzone, using the people they came to eat with as weapons of mass destruction.

Pat poured Ink water from a water bottle; so Pran asked Wai to uncap his bottle for him (I mean, how easy is that?)

Pat fed Ink with meatballs; so Pran stole a meatball from Wai’s bowl to Wai’s whining, then feeding Wai another meatball from his bowl to appease his soul.

Pat just went on and fed Ink until she complained Pat was flirting too much and instead transferred everything from his bowl to Pat’s. Pat turned to Pran who was grinning from the other side so he needs to hurriedly think of a comeback.

He pulled out his phone and took a photo of him and Ink, uploading it to his IG Story; then Pran, in retaliation, went and wiped Wai’s mouth with his fingers. Enraging Pat.

Well, it’s safe to say that Pran took this round from Pat. Yeah, that’s that.

After the auditions, the crew went to immediately proceed with the rehearsals. Because it involves a lot of singing. And even though Pran was supposed to work with the backdrops, since he promised Wai to take over his work while he practices, he stood there and supervised the whole thing. Pran did a short roll-call and found that their male lead is still missing, he dismissed this as him having some personal errands and just went on with the rehearsals as planned.

After a few minutes, while in the middle of the rehearsals, the actor playing the male lead came with all his reasons – but boy he did not even stay for another fifteen minutes and just rushed off again. (Seriously this will piss me off at first offense; I mean he’s got to have some balls to audition for clout) It probably annoyed Pran but he chose to let it go and went on with the rehearsal as planned (our bb’s patience is already high – knowing the guy he’s constantly dealing with is more *ahem* problematic – for his heart, ayiee)

Later that night, Pat went over Pran’s room. He was about to knock but he noticed the door hanger on the knob. He sighs before knocking on the door as softly as he could.

Pran, who was already in a bad mood, just opened his door and when he saw Pat outside he just told him that he wasn’t in the mood to play before going back inside, leaving the door open for Pat to come in.

Pat just went inside telling Pran that he isn’t always there to play. Pran asked him what he needs before sitting back down. Pat just pulled a chair next to Pran and told him that he initially wanted him to do something with his face (apply some make-up remover, when he never really wore make-up during the day) but since Pran is looking so glum he wanted to do something else. Pran, who was quick to read the situation, immediately turned his Engineering friend down, telling him that he doesn’t have anything on his face.

But Pat’s stubbornness just won’t let Pran rest even for a day to wallow on his own problems. And so, Pat went on his way and played with Pran’s watercolours to his face annoying Pran. But Pat knew that Pran is scarier when he keeps his mouth shut, so now that he’s talking, he probably doesn’t have anything to fear anymore. Pat told Pran if he could do it now – clean his face. Pran replied that he can do it himself but Pat said he wanted to do it for him, immediately asking Pran to ease up, even slapping Pran’s hand who had the cotton sheets already. And so he started doing work.

Pran was hesitant at first. Since he’s always been the one who’s doing it for Pat, he’s having second thoughts now that Pat’s offering help. But Pat pulled him in so he was left without a choice but to lean in closer and let Pat do his thing.

Pran, now in a much better mood, pulled one cotton sheet and asked Pat to come closer. Then he reached for his face and traced a heart-shape on Pat’s face. Pat, in turn, teased Pran what did he draw on his face and Pran answered that it was a triangle shape. Pat replied that he thought it was heart-shaped and teased Pran more.

And then they really had to ruin the moment by asking one another to yield first.

They only stopped doing so when they heard Wai’s voice echoed outside Pran’s room.

Pat thought that it was Pran’s plan, but then Pran told him it wasn’t and asked Pat to hide somewhere. Pat was obviously still unconvinced but with Pran’s pleas, he went and hid anyway. Pran’s room was quite large and spacious, and that’s why he had a hard time looking for a place to hide. He settled behind the sofa, near his study table anyways.

Pran ran over the door and checked for Pat before opening it for Wai. The second he did, Wai, together with his guitar came in and sat on his sofa. Pran asked him what his deal was.

First, Wai put Pran’s guitar to the side then he began telling Pran what he came for. Wai actually dropped out from the play to focus on the rugby team. Being a varsity member actually gave Wai a scholarship thus he’s choosing it over the play, and for that matter, he recommended Pran to take his place.

Pran, having promised not to have anything to do with music anymore, was hesitant. He wanted to focus on the backdrops rather than help with the music department. Wai, sensing Pran’s answer beforehand, appealed emotionally. He told Pran that if he does, he might’ve to quit the scholarship and the rugby team altogether to focus on the play (this is quite toxic for Wai, he’s being manipulative but I guess he’s desperate). Unable to bear his overly dramatic friend, Pran didn’t have any choice but to agree. Wai beamed and thanked Pran, almost giving him a kiss. But it’s good that Pran was able to stop Wai from doing so because Pat was inside the room as well.

Wai gave his guitar back. And Pran immediately thought of ways to make Wai move out of his room. He invited him out to eat and drink which Wai very much obliged.

Once they were out, Pran reasoned that he left his wallet back in his room and went back to see Pat coming out. He tried to talk to him but Pat just went off without saying a single word.

It seemed like he wasn’t able to talk to Pat after that, and it had been bugging him since. Pat isn’t the type who would give him a silent treatment for days so it had been affecting Pran to the point of him looming over the issue even when he was working. Simply said, Pran was already in a bad mood to begin with and he was just wearing his business smile all along. So when their male lead began acting up, he just let his mouth ran and he began speaking his mind off. It was probably just because of his annoyance but it was his real feelings. He had been annoyed with the guy starting from D-1 of the rehearsal and the guy just went and cut his last straw.

He regretted starting a fight and delaying the whole crew; but no regrets in talking shit with the guy. He was shit to begin with so yeah.

It might be his last straw but he got Pat. The question is: is Pat willing to help him without something in return?

Pat reluctantly asked Pat to meet in the rooftop; it was probably their first meeting since the incident in his room so he was feeling awkward. But Pat came and acted as if nothing happened. Pat asked what was he up to and the reason why he asked to meet; Pran replied that he just want to see him. Pat smiles and asked Pran if the guy from the play didn’t quit, will he still want to meet him or something. Pran decided to cut to chase. Since Pat knew his motives anyway, there’s no point in appealing with sympathy. He told him that Toto asked him to ask Pat if he was still interested.

Pat immediately asked Pran as to why would he still be interested in the role? Makes sense, given how they rejected him. Pran asked Pat if he still would want to beat him in their bet, which Pat asked back if he’s willing to lose if he agrees. Pran nods, replying that he is. Pat asked if it was as simple as that. I think Pat meant that if it was that simple, they wouldn’t have to flirt with one another for a couple of months if they’ll just end up with ‘that’ result in the end.

Pran sighs. He told Pat that he was thinking too much about it. Pran emphasized that even if they do it until they graduate, since they’re both tight-lipped, unless a strong reason was there, nobody would surely reveal what they really feel. Adding that, Pat just happen to won because he needed him at the moment.

Pat agrees, adding that in the end, no matter what the outcome, someone will end up losing and someone will end up winning. Pran just took it as Pat agreeing to him conceding in turn of him being their male lead and was about to confess – when Pat stopped him from doing so. Turns out, the playful Pat had other plans. He wanted to make the most of his win and asked Pran to do it in front of everyone. In a large projector screen during class at that. To Pran’s disappointment. He called Pat out. But Pat was adamant. He said he wanted to see his face when he loses and he wanted to really feel like he’s the winner of the bet. This made Pran change his mind, taking back what he said. And he ended up telling Pat that he’d rather look for another actor – an actor so much better than him before going back, leaving Pat smiling triumphantly on his own.

Turns out, Pat was really Pran’s last hope.

After the blunder he made that made Chart (yeah the jerk guy really had a name) quit the play, he just can’t think of anyone but Pat. He voted for Pat to be the lead (I think) after all. But because he cannot convince Pat without throwing his dignity in, asked for more time. But Toto was furious. He cannot postpone the play, least give him extra time to look for another lead. Toto told Pran that if he cannot get Pat to play, he’d have to apologize to Chart (I won’t apologize if I was Pran, really.)

And I really think this was Pat’s plan all along, because he just appeared in the stage out of nowhere to Pran’s rescue and saved the day. In the end, he chose to play the part without his outrageous dare to save Pran’s face.

Later, both of them were having dinner together at Pat’s room.

Pat told Pran that he isn’t the only one who favors his lover more than himself. He tells Pran that if he (Pran) wanted to cook for his lover; he (Pat) would always yield for his. He ALWAYS let his lover win over him.

Then Pran asked Pat when did he become his boyfriend. Pat pouted, before he replied that he will soon. He took his spoon and was about to eat a spoonful when Pran took his wrist, stopping him, before taking the spoon from him. Pran took the liberty to feed the confused Pat.

Confused as he was, Pat still ate the food Pran offered him to eat. Then Pran reached for the corner of his mouth, brushing his thumb over. Pran scooted in (probably for a kiss) when Pa knocked on the door.

Pran turned to the door and when he’s not paying attention, Pat stole a kiss from his cheek. Pran was quick to kiss his cheek back before asking him to open the door for his sister. Pat just throws it back to Pran, which Pran emphasizes that Pa IS his sister. Pat shrugs saying Pran is his boyfriend. Pran snorts telling Pat that he just said that he’d yield if he was his boyfriend.

Should I, who doesn’t even have a lover, really play-by-play describe how they kissed one time each on the cheeks and kissed each other five times? I’ll just attach a GIF.

But yeah. They literally kissed each other leaving Pa outside. I don’t even know if she was able to get in.

MY THOUGHTS

Happy New Year everyone! Before going forward, Please do read the disclaimer below!

DISCLAIMER: All that will be written in the next few paragraphs are only the author’s thoughts. I respect that everyone has their own preferences and since I’m the one writing about this one, this is mine. I hope we’re open-minded about this one. Thank you!

Before anything else, I would like to tell everyone that there’s finally a hint of things from the novel in this episode; although it was subtly dismantled and turned into an entirely different scenes, we can still try to filter them out later.

But let’s try to talk about that later, instead for now, let’s talk about what’s happening in this episode.

I must say, GMMTV never fails to create one or two heartwarming episodes before breaking our (viewers’) hearts afterwards.

As for the episode, it’s basically a compendium of sweet scenes of Pat and Pran. If you ask me, I would say that this is the best fan-service episode.

But a few cents though.

When I first watched this episode (on the same day it was released) I was quite confused. Although I was happy that they’re finally putting in some details from the novel after a few episodes, the way they put it together was kind of confusing in some kind. Like say for example, Pa’s major. It wasn’t explicitly mentioned as to what faculty did she belong to – and they just randomly put her to Ink’s faculty in the end. I actually thought Pa was in the Arts faculty – help me. But isn’t media in arts?

Another thing that confused my brains out was the number of emerging ships in just an episode. I mean, I really don’t mind but if they’re planning to do it anyways, why didn’t they do it before? And of all episodes, they actually chose to do it in the seventh. I literally raged when the realization hit me that my InkPa ship got no way to go.

But after watching it a few more times, I got the gist and I also started to accept reality that my ship won’t even sail in the end. I mean: KornWai, WaiPa, InkPa seemed to be plausible but impossible already. Although they did not exist in the novel, the potential is too much to be ignored.

Well anyway, let’s move on from our sinking ships to our main ships: Pat and Pran.

So there’s literally a lot of things that has been happening in this episode. We expected them to happen but as you can see, the change was too drastic that even I was literally shookt. I even try to question as to how their friends never found out – that in a minute, they’re on each other’s throats then after the excursions, the fighting just stopped. It made me think that they’re either too dumb to realize or just didn’t care.

So before we proceed, I would like to ask you a question: when watching a particular series, do you even change POVs between the leads? If yes, then did you try to watch this series in Pat’s POV?

If your answer is no. Then I advise you to rewatch it again and try to do it because I tell you, it is a game changer.

If your answer is yes. Then you probably can relate to whatever I will write hereafter.

The reason why I said it’s a game changer is because, once you see the whole episode in Pat’s perspective the entire storyline changes. I couldn’t possibly summarize the whole episode again just to prove my point so I’ll just say it in a few words:

I think Pat wasn’t really trying to win against Pran from the start.

Reason: Because he already know that he lost.

He was the first to confess and he was the first to wave his white flag after all.

But why go the effort to try to win? Because he likes Pran.

Okay, here it is. Pat is actually a gentleman especially to those whom he loves. This is where the Pat in the novel and the Pat in the series meet: both of them are unconditionally gentle to their own versions of Pran. And in their (both Pats) own ways, Pat wanted to make Pran comfortable.

As for the competition-fiasco, I think it was Pat’s way to slowly penetrate Pran’s defences. Competitions were their comfort language after all. If there’s anything that would make Pran feel comfortable, it should be whenever they’re competing over something. Pat knew that whenever they did, Pran enjoys it and gives it his best. It was afterall, like what Pran said himself: ‘they’re just made that way, and they can’t do anything about it’.

Furthermore, Pat knew that Pran is the type who overthinks. He knew that between the two of them, it is Pran who had a lot in mind – he was probably thinking about how his feelings for him (Pat) would affect their friends and family. And Just by his reaction from their kiss, Pat already knew that confessing head-on is a bad idea. Although he wanted to convey his sincerity to Pran, he doesn’t want to pressure Pran to either return or reject his feelings of affection. He realized that if he did, Pran might really shut him off forever. So instead, Pat offered the most plausible way to be with Pran – that is to have his little game of bet.

In the end, Pat just wanted Pran to be laxxed while he sort his own feelings for him; because Pat already knew what he wanted. He wanted Pran but he doesn’t really know if Pran feels the same way. He has an idea that he also does, but he also knew that Pran feels burdened with it. So Pat wanted to wait until he is ready – but at the same time, he wanted to be by his side while he does.

If we look at it this way, then everything would fall into place. Everything Pat had done wasn’t because he wanted to win over Pran but he did it because he whole-heartedly wanted to do it for Pran. Which is really sweet if you’d ask me.

But what if this idea didn’t work? Did he plan to confess if Pran didn’t?

I think yes. That was probably what he would do in an all-else-fail situation. But I guess he also knew that he didn’t need to do it – he already knew that Pran realized that he was serious and that he already knew that Pran knew that he already realized what Pran’s real feelings is.

But then again, Pat actually didn’t want to confess. He knew that if he did, Pran would just retreat to his own shell again and he doesn’t want that. He already went his way to take him out from there and he doesn’t want him to retreat back. So I personally agree with Pat’s way of thinking somehow.

What do I mean with what I said? The: ‘Pat was the first to confess – thing’

During Pat’s audition for Riam. There was a time where he was supposed to act out a scene from the script. I personally don’t know if it really was in the script or not, but I could just say that it was. However, it’s noticeable that the scene he chose was entirely different from the scenes other auditionees did. In his audition piece, his character was kind of telling Kwan to be true to his feelings and to not think about other’s opinions; since The Scar, in its essence is about two people who literally cannot be together because of familial differences, Riam was telling Kwan to accept him and he’s tired of pretending (that they do not love each other).

Personally, I think that Pat was not speaking as Riam. I think, he’s speaking as Pat. He was trying to tell Pran the same thing becase he knew what Pran feels about his feelings for him (Pat). So it’s safe to say that, he was trying to get the role and at the same time conveying a message to Pran. That’s why throughout the audition, his eyes were fixed at Pran all along.

And with that, let’s go with the generic things we should explain in the episode.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m quite happy that I can finally see a hint of the novel in this episode. After so many non-canon episodes, we can finally have a discourse of the novel and the series. Actually, most of the scenes are still non-cannon – including the architecture play but since I can see some things that I can compare to the novel, I’d be very happy to do so.

As I’ve mentioned before, the novel is quite different from the series given that in the novel, they’re fourth years dealing with fourth year problems – thesis and getting a job after graduation. In the novel, they just cannot mess around like they’re doing in the series.

Yes, there are a few of these scenes in this episode and these are some of them; they are but very small details and you might think they’re unnecessary but they are worth the mentions:

(1) Living arrangements

In the first episodes of the series, Pat is actually living alone in his condo. It was because Pa is still not in the university yet. However, in the novel, Pat and Par (Pa in the series) are already living together when the first chapter of the novel began. As a matter of fact, even before Pa came into place, Pat was living together with Gon (Korn in the series) in their dorm room for quite some time. This is an important detail for the whole story line because Par actually is acting as Pat’s superego. Without Par, Pat would’ve gone wild because of his own loneliness. Also, Par have something to do with the reason why Pat and Pran had been so close together, even before they became boyfriends. It is her who throws Pat to Pran’s room after they fight after-all, it’s like a disciplinary measure practiced by people to minimize fights for siblings. (Remember in the K-drama True Beauty? The scene where they cut their toenails and say ‘I love you’ to the other person – it’s basically the same logic). So you can say that Par also have something to do with how the relationship of our leads are up until the end of the series.

(2) The scene where Pat hid behind the sofa (lol)

It actually happened in the novel but in an entirely different context. In the series, Pat hid away because Wai came over to return the guitar and delegate Pran for his job in the play. In the novel, the reason is the same, Pat hid behind the balcony because Wai came over in the middle of the night uninvited. The difference is that, in the novel, they are already dating and Wai came over for a different reason. You see, Pran in the novel is a hundred times workaholic compared to the Pran in the series and Wai is always compelled to check on his friend because when Pran works, he often forgets the most important things (eating and even sleeping). So without knowing that Pat is there to do the job, Wai came over thinking of checking his friend. Another reason is that, it was a few weeks before their basketball competition (I already wrote this fact in the first episode recap) and he’s literally just hanging around. Pran intended to quickly tend on to Wai and make him leave but things aren’t as planned and Wai stuck around even going the balcony – where Pat was hiding. This forced the Engineering stud to jump from the balcony to his room. He, unfortunately, injured his ankle. And because of this ankle, their relationship was busted by their friends.

Now that we’re done with the rest, let’s proceed to the last part of this discourse. I’ll try to explain some of Pat’s actions. Though it’s quite self-explanatory tbh but I just want to. Lol.

(1) Pat’s audition.

Regarding Pat’s audition, I guess, he planned to join in from the start. The architecture plays happens every year and they’re known to do some auditions for their leads anyway. As an Engineering student, of course, he did not bat an eye before – it never interests him and it never even crossed his mind. However, this year was different. Pran was involved. And knowing Pat, everything about Pran interests him. So he went and auditioned for the main lead.

But I don’t think it is to annoy or tease Pran. Instead, I think the reason why Pat auditioned is to be with Pran. If he’s lucky enough to be chosen, he’d have to be with Pran during rehearsals afterall.

At this point, it should be obvious that Pran already had Pat wrapped around his little finger. And he’d literally do anything to be with Pran. Even to the point of sacrificing his rugby practices to be with Pran. I don’t actually blame him at all.

(2) That time when Wai came over Pran’s room

If we look at the scene in Pran’s POV, it’s easy to say that Pat was annoyed with Pran because of the things that he heard inside the room. Also with how Pat reacted when Pran asked him to come to the rooftop. It would give us a confirmation that he really was annoyed with him.

But I don't think Pat was angry at Pran at all. It's just that he felt betrayed with what happened. I could think of two reasons: (1) because Pran is so gullible that Wai easily manipulated him to doing what he wanted, and (2) the guitar.

Pat is protective in nature. He’s the type of person who wouldn’t stand around when someone he is close with is forced to do something they do not want to or when they’re taken advantage to. And the way Pat saw (or heard) it, it seemed like Pran was just letting himself be taken advantage to by Wai. He was just too hardworking and good-natured for his own good. And just because he’s that, he always says yes at everything. And this didn’t sit well with Pat.

Another reason was Pran’s guitar. I think it’s actually a set: the guitar and Pran’s song.

It represents who Pran is to Pat so he holds it close to his heart – in short, he developed this ‘emotional connection’ with it. We saw how Pat flipped when Pran used their song; so I expected the same reaction for the guitar. No, no, I actually expected more of a reaction from Pat. Because his connection with the guitar is way much stronger. Pran’s guitar was his only memory of Pran after he left after all. He said he was lonely, so given that he brought it anywhere he goes (even back to his condo) should say how important it was for him.

And Pran just went and gave it to Wai for safekeeping. I mean, I understand that when it happened Pran and Pat were in bad terms (I mean, one sided in terms of bad terms) but I also understand Pat as to why he is disheartened and betrayed. I mean, it was Pran’s strike two with Wai.

So yeeeees! Pat and Pran are finally boyfriends now! There are a lot to expect but a little spoiler: Pat will eventually stay at Pran’s room almost everyday so ...

Well anyway, good things aside, now that they’re boyfriends, we should also be ready with the heavy drama this story will bring in the later episodes. We’re currently in Episode 9 right now and good thing, we’re done with their friends’ issues. The bigger problem in their parents.

They’re doing a great job hiding their relationship so far, but for how long? How can they even be called boyfriends if they can’t be themselves outside closed doors?

PS: I also posted the same thing on wattpad, find the link here.

And finally, my trusty potato.

14 notes · View notes

becomewings · 4 years ago

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The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>

BTS Universe Story Highlights, pt. 4 / 4

« pt. 3 | start at the beginning

Introduction

The final sections for TaeHyung’s arc and the Epilogue are 4.3k and 4.4k, respectively. As with earlier parts of the series, I have included “tl;dr commentary” at the bottom of the post after a section of additional thoughts (specifically devoted to an interesting MV location parallel!). This commentary summarizes the parenthetical asides I made throughout the summaries and may be of interest as standalone reading to those who have already played the game yet would like to review its connections to the BU texts and MVs.

Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD

This guide contains major spoilers and includes references to other BU media

Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission

Heart’s Distance

TaeHyung’s story opens with a short cutscene. In his apartment (with the calendar on the wall open to May), TaeHyung smiles at a photo of his father holding him as a baby. (The image looks similar to the photograph he holds at 1’48” in the HYYH On Stage: Prologue short film.) Remembering his father’s drinking and violence, he crumples the photo with a sigh. SeokJin then narrates over a series of shots explaining the latest developments in the loops. By this 15 May Year 22, he has saved NamJoon, ensured that JungKook and YoonGi saved each other, prevented HoSeok’s accident in the hospital, and borrowed everyone’s help to free JiMin. Everyone is gathered outside NamJoon’s container that night, smiling and giddy from saving JiMin. “How long has it been since we’ve all laughed together?” SeokJin asks. (This is a reference to the recurring phrase “we can laugh when we’re together” present throughout the Notes and occasionally this game.) He wants to relax and enjoy the moment too but knows this isn’t over yet. TaeHyung is laughing radiantly next to JiMin. “What drives this happy and innocent TaeHyung to commit such an unspeakable act?” he wonders.

SeokJin’s reflections on the coming days in previous loops present the crux of his challenge and this story: on 19 May, TaeHyung is arrested for vandalism while painting graffiti on the streets. (The bus stop depicted in the shot is the same as the one in Highlight Reel.) One thing SeokJin has learned through the loops is that TaeHyung and his sister live under the constant threat of domestic violence. On 20 May, TaeHyung goes home after spending the night at the police station. The situation gets especially bad for his older sister, and TaeHyung makes a choice that he can’t take back. (In the shot in the game, TaeHyung approaches his father from behind and the sound of glass occurs on a cut to black. We know from the I Need U MV and Save Me webtoon that he fatally stabs his father.) SeokJin’s inner thoughts relate that he has tried to stop this event by preventing TaeHyung from going home this day or even involving NamJoon—but all of his attempts have ended in failure.

While SeokJin is mulling over this challenge during their gathering on the night of 15 May, HoSeok approaches and asks what he’s thinking about by himself. “Oh, nothing much,” SeokJin dismisses. HoSeok remarks that it’s nice to be there with everyone. “It makes me think of the old days…” While HoSeok happily chats, SeokJin’s attention stays on TaeHyung as he approaches NamJoon. The player is given the choice to “get closer to eavesdrop” or “listen to what HoSeok has to say.” In the first path, SeokJin excuses himself to make a phone call and only pretends to pick up the phone as he nears TaeHyung and NamJoon. In the second path, HoSeok jokes about eating too many snacks in high school thanks to SeokJin. SeokJin is a little distracted, but HoSeok notices that TaeHyung has snacks. “Huh? What’s that? I want some too!” SeokJin uses this opportunity to follow HoSeok and join their two friends. The paths converge with SeokJin overhearing TaeHyung and NamJoon’s conversation. TaeHyung says he doesn’t want to go home and asks if he can spend the night at the container. SeokJin remembers that TaeHyung often mentioned not wanting to go home in high school. Back then, they thought it was because he enjoyed being with the group, but now SeokJin knows that he was probably avoiding his father. He wonders why TaeHyung insists on going home on the 20th since he hates it there so much. Maybe learning the reason will be the key to stopping—and saving—TaeHyung. “Do whatever you want. You can sleep over,” NamJoon replies. TaeHyung brightens visibly at this answer. “Do you want to stay up doing something? We can play a card game, or…” HoSeok chimes in too that it sounds like a fun idea, but NamJoon says he has work tomorrow and can’t stay up late. “Let’s play until I have to go to bed.” TaeHyung’s phone vibrates. His face is already grim when he peers at it. “Actually, I think I have to go home.” Surprised, NamJoon asks why, but TaeHyung leaves without answering.

SeokJin leaves the gathering and follows TaeHyung, shadowing him carefully to avoid detection. He wonders what was in the text that changed TaeHyung’s mind and notices that they’re heading in the opposite direction of his home. After purchasing snacks at a nearby store, TaeHyung stands at a bus stop. SeokJin wonders if he’s waiting for someone since he lets several buses pass by. Eventually, a disembarking figure approaches TaeHyung. SeokJin recognizes her as Kim Eunhye, TaeHyung’s older sister. She asks why he is waiting for her since he said he’d be home late. “I was about to head in, so I thought I’d wait for you,” TaeHyung replies. “You should’ve gone ahead. Dad probably hasn’t had dinner yet…” she trails off. TaeHyung says he ordered delivery to the house for their dad. “Did you eat yet? Here.” He hands her a hot dog. SeokJin follows at a distance when they begin walking home. “Do you think dad will be drinking?” Eunhye wonders. “Is that even a question?” TaeHyung returns. They go back and forth about how he has been drinking less these days, goes to work every day, and doesn’t get as angry. “I hope things stay like this,” Eunhye finishes. “...It won’t last,” says TaeHyung. From his sigh, SeokJin senses how little TaeHyung trusts his father. He is surprised to hear that his father goes to work every day. In previous loops, he wondered if the cause for TaeHyung’s accident was an external force and went to observe his father’s workplace, but the man was not at the construction site and apparently hadn’t shown up for several days.

“I better check it out,” SeokJin decides. He calls Uncle JunHo, his father’s assistant, to ask for a favor. The two meet later in SeokJin’s bedroom. “You wanted to go on-site for practical training, right? This is the form you need,” says JunHo. He dismisses SeokJin’s thanks. “The Assemblyman seemed to be interested, too. He said he’ll be keeping an eye on things.” “Father said that?” SeokJin checks. “Make sure to use this opportunity to take a thorough look around. It’ll all be helpful to you later,” JunHo advises. (It’s helpful to know that Kim ChangJun is involved in some shady business with a construction company—this is revealed in The Notes 2.)

On 17 May, SeokJin visits the construction site. The foreman tells him that they’re busy and won’t have time to pay any special attention to him. SeokJin is glad for the lack of watchful eyes because it gives him the opportunity to observe TaeHyung’s father, Kim SungHoon. He is working silently, and SeokJin can’t see anything wrong on the surface. “Why does he get so violent at home?” he wonders. The foreman has apparently been watching too and yells at him. “Oi, you! Why aren’t you working?” Kim SungHoon points out that there isn’t any scaffolding. The foreman orders him to use a ladder instead. “You can’t get any work done being all careful.” Kim SungHoon tries to protest, but the foreman won’t hear it. “Are you going to pay for it if the schedule gets delayed, Mr. Kim? Hurry it up!” A look appears on Kim SungHoon’s face as though he’s been wronged, but he uses the ladder to begin working. SeokJin’s concern must be visible, for the foreman makes conversation with him. “Ahem. Don’t get the wrong idea. You might not be well aware of it yet, but it’s hard to always follow the rules on site. We can’t stay on schedule if we’re not flexible.” “I see…” murmurs SeokJin.

Another laborer shouts, drawing their attention: Kim SungHoon has fallen from the ladder and lies groaning on the ground. The foreman curses and rushes over, demanding how he could be so careless and shifting the blame to him for not paying attention. With a hurt back, Kim SungHoon cannot continue working. Trying to downplay the accident, the foreman gives him a few bills and advises him to stop by the hospital. TaeHyung’s father seems to have something to say, but he withers under the foreman’s stare and accepts the money in resignation. The foreman then assures SeokJin that this happens occasionally on a rough worksite and hands him money too. “You’ve worked hard, so here’s a little something for you to get a nice snack. Forget about everything that happened today. You know what I mean, right?” His brazen, selfish attitude angers SeokJin, but he smiles and leaves to follow Kim SungHoon. He is shocked to witness TaeHyung’s father purchase alcohol at a convenience store rather than go to a hospital. Worried about what will happen if he drinks while injured, SeokJin tries to call TaeHyung, but he doesn’t pick up. The episode ends with a small scene of TaeHyung finishing graffiti on a wall. He doesn’t know why he painted what he did, but the “dumb, ugly-looking graffiti” represents how he feels. He rubs the still-wet paint, yet it doesn’t go away. Picking a new color, TaeHyung sprays over the existing layers like he’s pouring and emptying out all of himself.

On 18 May, TaeHyung deals with his third rude customer of the day at the convenience store. The man demands why he must pay for a bag, even though the law has changed so they can no longer be given freely. TaeHyung either relents and gives him the bag without charge or stands firm. In the first path, he gives in, knowing that he probably won’t restrain his anger if they argue further and that he’ll have to cover the cost with his own paycheck. In the second path, the customer flings the money at him before leaving. TaeHyung clenches his fists and holds in his anger. The paths rejoin with him reflecting that this isn’t a good day. He greets the next customer and realizes that it’s SeokJin. “How come you’ve been stopping by so often these days?” TaeHyung asks while ringing up his bottled coffee. “Huh? Just. I have some things to take care of around here,” SeokJin answers. TaeHyung doesn’t know whether or not to believe him. SeokJin keeps asking how he’s doing, and it makes him a little uncomfortable. Today, SeokJin asks more meaningless questions as always, until: “How’s your father?” TaeHyung can’t stop himself from responding sharply. “Why do you ask about him?” Taken aback, SeokJin stammers, “N-No reason, really. I was just wondering if he was well… Uh… Never mind.”

A rich-looking father and son enter the store, interrupting the awkward silence. The way the father looks after his son and buys him what he wants to eat plunges TaeHyung into memories—he once felt the same as the boy about his own father. He remembers asking his dad who the baby is in the photograph we see at the beginning of the story. Kim SungHoon said it was him. “Don’t you think you look just like dad, TaeHyung?” An incoming phone call shakes TaeHyung out of his memories. The food deliverer informs him that no one is home to accept the order of hangover soup. “Huh? My father should be there…” TaeHyung confirms that the deliverer can leave the food outside the door, but he worries about his dad, who was passed out drunk and groaning in his sleep when he left for work. “SeokJin. I need to run home really quickly. Do you think you can watch the store for me?” TaeHyung leaves as soon as SeokJin gives a startled affirmative. The episode ends in SeokJin’s perspective. He’s curious and concerned about what is going on with TaeHyung, as he couldn’t overhear the phone call. Since leaving the store alone to follow TaeHyung may just create more trouble for him, SeokJin decides to stay put and look for clues.

Arriving home, TaeHyung brings the hangover soup inside and finds his father slouched in the corner. More soju bottles are lying out than when he left this morning. “Your lunch is here.” TaeHyung shakes him when there’s no response. “Wake up and eat.” Kim SungHoon mumbles something unintelligible, so TaeHyung nudges him again. His father shudders and cries out. “You bastard! I’d just gotten comfortable!” “Oh… I just wanted you to eat before the soup gets cold…” says TaeHyung. Kim SungHoon calls him a bastard for not listening. “I just told you to leave that damn thing here!” “Hah… Anyway, eat your lunch.” TaeHyung touches his shoulder again, and his father shoves him away. “The pain is killing me. Get lost, bastard!” TaeHyung yelps. The back of his neck burns from something he hit, but he doesn’t feel the pain over the rage brewing inside him. He can’t stand to look at his father for another second and kicks the door open to rush outside. “But of course. Why did I run over here to make sure that miserable geezer ate something?” he thinks bitterly. TaeHyung’s temper cools as he walks back to the store, and he remembers the pain in his neck. His fingers come away with blood when he touches the spot. He trudges onward, planning to bandage it at work. The memory of the rich father-son duo comes to mind: the man holding his son’s hand so tenderly, and the kid smiling brightly up at him. It makes TaeHyung even more miserable, and he fights to suppress the feelings that threaten to overflow.

Alone in the convenience store, SeokJin feels anxious not knowing when TaeHyung will return but decides to poke around, hoping to learn something like he did when observing NamJoon’s room at the gas station. He either looks through TaeHyung’s backpack or a full box near the register. The box is only a makeshift lost-and-found with customers’ forgotten items. Despite his discomfort at rooting through someone’s belongings, SeokJin finds the crumpled photograph of TaeHyung as a baby with his father in the bag. “He wouldn’t be carrying it around if he truly hated his father. But it wouldn’t be crumpled if he liked him, either. Is it… love and hate?” SeokJin wonders. He also finds a post-it stuck on the counter with a note left by HoSeok: “I packed this for myself but Auntie invited me over for dinner. There are two patties inside. Make sure to enjoy it and write me a full review at least one page long!” SeokJin realizes they’ve spent all this time looking out for each other. He’s glad to see the signs of HoSeok taking care of TaeHyung and TaeHyung being grateful enough to keep the note.

When TaeHyung returns, SeokJin is concerned to see blood from a cut on his neck. “Are you okay, TaeHyung? What happened to your neck?” But TaeHyung avoids looking at him and doesn’t answer, instead putting on a bandage and continuing work. SeokJin ignores a call from Uncle JunHo, deciding it’s more important to look after TaeHyung. “Are you sure you can stay here all day like this, SeokJin? Aren’t there people at home wondering where you are?” TaeHyung speaks up at that moment. SeokJin smiles sheepishly. But with the incident looming ahead on the 20th and no solutions yet to avert it, he has no choice but to stick close to him. After TaeHyung’s shift ends, SeokJin asks what he’s doing now. The red seeping through the bandage worries him. “I’m just… gonna go paint some graffiti,” says TaeHyung. He reluctantly agrees to allow SeokJin to tag along. His phone vibrates before they leave. “Sis? What’s going on? What? The emergency room? Why is Dad there? Hold on. I’ll be right there!” TaeHyung runs out. SeokJin catches up to offer him a ride, which he accepts after a moment’s hesitation.

The perspective switches to TaeHyung when they arrive at the hospital and find his sister waiting with an uneasy expression. She thinks that their father was injured at work. When she tapped him lightly to wake him up for dinner, it caused him a lot of pain. TaeHyung remembers the incident at lunchtime and wonders if he felt like that earlier, too. Eunhye notices SeokJin, and TaeHyung introduces them, noticing that her hand seems to make her uncomfortable. “Did you hurt yourself, sis? What happened to your hand?” “Oh, it’s nothing. I… tripped before we came to the hospital.” TaeHyung knows she’s lying but doesn’t argue. He pretends not to see her injuries, and she pretends not to see the one on his neck—like they always do. Eunhye voices concern about the high bill, which the hospital wants them to pay before discharging their father tomorrow. “The company will take care of it if he was injured at work,” SeokJin assures. TaeHyung finds the construction foreman’s number in his dad’s cell phone and calls him. Reporting the situation, he asks if his father’s injured back can be processed as an industrial accident. The foreman denies that they can help. “How can we cover an accident where Kim SungHoon was drunk on the job and failed to follow safety protocol?” The foreman informs him that he already gave Kim SungHoon money to see a doctor. “There’s nothing else to say, so I’m going to go. And I’m telling you—don’t try to pull anything.” TaeHyung swears when the call ends. Eunhye wonders if the foreman is mistaken because she doesn’t think their father drank that day. TaeHyung purses his lips shut instead of replying, filled with rage at the patronizing foreman and their incompetent father. He hates that he can’t say his dad isn’t the kind of person to drink on the job, and his body shakes with indescribable emotion.

“They won’t cover it as a workplace accident?” SeokJin asks, the perspective shifting to him. He knows the foreman is lying but is unsure how to help TaeHyung and his despairing sister. He could pay the hospital fee himself, but that was counterproductive when he tried it for NamJoon in an earlier loop. Noticing a text from Uncle JunHo asking where he is, SeokJin postpones his decision for later and bids TaeHyung a quick farewell. “I’m sure there’s a way to take care of all of this. Don’t worry too much. Take care of your dad. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

On 19 May, TaeHyung and his sister exit the hospital room with twin sighs. Their father called the foreman back after hearing about the first conversation and let loose, only hanging up when his supervisor agreed to speak in person at the hospital. He also demanded alcohol all night and only recently fell asleep. TaeHyung notices that Eunhye looks exhausted and suggests that they take a nap before the foreman arrives that evening. Later, the foreman arrives with some workers and a box of drinks. TaeHyung stands in the corner, not wanting to butt in since this is his father’s business. The foreman asks how Kim SungHoon is doing, advises him to rest, and then adds, “We’re here to say that you shouldn’t bring up compensation since it’s your fault you were injured.” The foreman accuses him of drinking on the job, and the coworkers Kang and Seo nervously agree. Kim SungHoon argues back about being denied the scaffolding and drops the box of drinks, a “token of their sincerity,” on the floor. While the other works avert their gaze, the foreman looks down on him and clucks his tongue. “You bastard! You call yourself a man?!” Kim SungHoon roars. The foreman bristles. “What? Bastard? Watch your mouth punk!”

Eunhye tries to intervene, pleading for her father to calm down and apologizing on his behalf. The foreman accepts her actions like it’s the obvious thing for her to do. His arrogant attitude reminds TaeHyung of how he probably deals with his underlings. “Sir. My father wasn’t drunk,” he speaks up. The foreman’s arrogant air dissipates. “What are you saying? I have witnesses here.” TaeHyung explains that his dad did not drink that day or the previous one. The foreman scoffs. “Look at this kid. Where’d you learn your manners? He probably drank on the way to work even if he didn’t at home! Who do you think you are, raising your voice like that?” TaeHyung’s hands tremble with rage at the injustice, but he has nothing to retort. Suddenly, SeokJin appears. “I also saw everything. Remember me? I was there on site for practical training that day. I watched him work and he definitely wasn’t drunk.” The foreman grows flustered as SeokJin reveals the truth of the site’s dangerous work process and makes it clear that he coerced Kim SungHoon into not following the correct procedure. He glares between SeokJin and TaeHyung. “I don’t know how you both are putting up this united front… But you think it’s going to change things? We already paid him. It’s a done deal. Understood?” Fuming, the foreman leaves with the other workers in tow. “It’s alright now, TaeHyung.” SeokJin gently taps his shoulder. TaeHyung realizes how tense he has been when he loosens his grip and sees little crescents of his fingernails cut into his palms. (His wounded palms are a recurring motif.)

The perspective shifts to SeokJin while TaeHyung stares blankly at his hands. He decides to come clean about his payment of Kim SungHoon’s hospital bill, since the problem with NamJoon was that he paid it secretly. “You can think of it as borrowing—” “Thanks, SeokJin,” TaeHyung interrupts. “I’ll pay back all of it. Thank you.” SeokJin is a little shocked by his response—it is the first time he’s heard “thank you” from TaeHyung. He hopes that this is the beginning of solving TaeHyung’s problems and bids farewell for the day. Outside the hospital, SeokJin runs into HoSeok, who correctly guesses that he came to visit TaeHyung. “How’d you know?” “I stopped by TaeHyung’s work and didn’t see him, so I called him right away,” HoSeok explains. SeokJin expects him to ask about Kim SungHoon, but instead HoSeok worries about his friend first. “Is TaeHyung alright? He must’ve been so shocked. He cares a lot about his dad…” “TaeHyung does?” SeokJin checks. “Yeah. Even though he says that he doesn’t want to go home all the time, he always makes sure his dad gets a real meal every day. Even if he just eats convenience store snacks himself.” This is new information to SeokJin, who wonders if this is why TaeHyung is determined to go home on the 20th. HoSeok seems more familiar with TaeHyung’s sincerity than anyone else. SeokJin is still braced to explain how he knew about Kim SungHoon’s injury, but HoSeok is more focused on contacting TaeHyung and continues on towards the hospital. Overcome with exhaustion as his tension ebbs, SeokJin trudges home to plan his next move.

Later on 19 May, TaeHyung helps his father walk home after he is discharged from the hospital. He is grateful that SeokJin paid the bill but even more so that he intervened to verify Kim SungHoon’s unjust treatment. “SeokJin might be a better person than I thought.” No words are exchanged as TaeHyung supports his father. His arm is thin, but the weight that presses down on him is burdensome. “It’s the weight of the wheel that I can’t escape. The weight of reality—that I’m always going to be responsible for my father. A person that I wish I could let go, but can’t, and the contradictory feelings of hating my father but wanting to protect him.” In a perspective switch, SeokJin watches at a distance with bated breath. Even though TaeHyung seems accustomed to helping his father walk, Kim SungHoon raises his voice every time he almost falls. SeokJin guesses that TaeHyung is adamant about going home on the 20th because he is worried about his father, who is just out of the hospital, but all he sees is violence against his sister when he arrives. “I’m going to stop it this time, no matter what,” he vows.

On 20 May, SeokJin stands at the bus stop and touches the graffiti for which TaeHyung was arrested the previous night. (It’s the “I’m Fine” message depicted at the same location in the Highlight Reel.) He wonders what TaeHyung felt when he painted it and feels uneasy that he may not be handling this sequence correctly. SeokJin shakes away this premature doubt. There’s one thing that has changed from the previous loop: him. He has protected Kim SungHoon after his injury, paid the hospital bill, and built up enough credibility with TaeHyung to earn his thanks. This time, he reassures himself, his words will get through to his friend. Later, SeokJin follows TaeHyung when he leaves the police station. They walk in silence, but TaeHyung does not push him away or ask why he’s following. “Thanks for walking me here, SeokJin,” he speaks up when they arrive at his house. SeokJin waits a few moments before heading inside after him, entering a familiar situation he has seen far too many times: TaeHyung lunging toward his father, who looms near Eunhye. “TaeHyung! No!” SeokJin dashes to grab his arm. “Let go!” TaeHyung snarls and flails. SeokJin holds tighter, pleading for him to calm down. TaeHyung yells and shoves him away. SeokJin slams into something and falls, pain blooming in his skull. TaeHyung spins around with an expression of shock. The voices calling SeokJin grow fainter, and his vision blurs. “Tae… Hyung…” The glass shatters, marking another failed loop and concluding the story. (This is not the first time TaeHyung has caused SeokJin grave or mortal injury during his intervention: in the Save Me webtoon, he accidentally stabbed SeokJin with the broken bottle instead of his father.)

Nightmare: Epilogue

Throughout the <I’M FINE> series, we have witnessed SeokJin’s trials and failures in the earlier time loops. These experiences culminate in the Epilogue, titled “Nightmare,” as in The Notes 1. This arc spans his efforts to save each of his friends between 11 April and 22 May rather than focusing on one or two characters. SeokJin’s decisions and their consequences here closely follow The Notes 1, so now we have a more detailed picture of his journey between the Save Me webtoon and the first book. The Epilogue fills in some gaps and provides greater depth to these events. For the sake of clearer context, I have still summarized the moments that parallel The Notes 1.

On 11 April Year 22, SeokJin opens his eyes to the familiar bedroom ceiling, the events of the previous loop replaying in his mind. Will he be able to save his friends this time? Uncertainty, horror, and the fresh pain of failure plague him, but he looks at the photo of his friends by the sea. Once, he believed that saving them would be straightforward. But while obsessing over only the problems that he could see, SeokJin lost his way and had to learn from his mistakes. The “signal fires” that helped guide him back were the times spent with his friends, the moments they began to truly understand each other, and the memories he wants to treasure. As he leaves his room, he reflects: “We’re all connected together by a single string, and we’re fated to save one another. And the person to finally put an end to all of this… has to be me.”

In his car, SeokJin encounters a scene at the school crosswalk that he always runs into around this time. He sees a downcast-looking JungKook crossing the street among a group of students. The player is given an option to get out of the car to greet him or pass him by. Regardless of the decision, SeokJin knows that he can’t let his emotions steer his actions. In a previous loop (depicted in JungKook’s arc), he brought JungKook to see the cherry blossoms blooming on the university campus. SeokJin wonders if the JungKook from that loop enjoyed it at least a little. But ultimately, it was just a day and JungKook ended up alone with nothing changed. Not wanting to repeat his past mistakes, SeokJin drives by without stopping.

Later that night, SeokJin pulls into Naeri gas station. NamJoon greets him with a now-familiar look of surprise. “Oh. SeokJin?” “It’s been a while.” SeokJin is determined to make this the last time they repeat this conversation. (As mentioned in part 1, this sequence parallels their moment at the end of the Blood Sweat & Tears Japanese version MV.) As they move to a corner of the station to continue their conversation, the perspective shifts to NamJoon. Something seems a little weird to him, and SeokJin looks like he has a lot to say, but he manages to gloss over it. NamJoon is about to invite him to the meetup with the other guys after work, but his boss yells for him to do his job. An expensive foreign car pulls up to the gas pump, and the customer drops the money on the ground when NamJoon reaches for it. “Ah, butterfingers. What are you doing? Not gonna pick that up?” the man sneers. The player is presented the choice to pick up the money or not. In both paths, NamJoon unconsciously clenches his fists. “You don’t want it?” asks the customer. The paths converge with SeokJin easily picking up the bills and handing them back to the driver. “You dropped this.” Hands shaking, NamJoon is mortified by the situation that caused SeokJin to react, yet his friend continues to stand there between him and the customer. The man demands who he is, but SeokJin advises, “You must be busy… So you should leave.” Out of steam, the customer drives off. NamJoon thanks SeokJin. “It’s nothing. What were you going to tell me earlier?” NamJoon forces his mouth to move. “Ah. I’m meeting up with TaeHyung and HoSeok today after work. Do you want to come with me?”

Back in SeokJin’s perspective, these are the words he’s been waiting for. Nerves dry his mouth, but he tries to speak naturally and inquires about the others. NamJoon doesn’t really keep in touch with them, but offers to call HoSeok, who still talks to YoonGi. SeokJin knows that YoonGi will call JungKook after hearing from HoSeok—this is how he saves JungKook tonight. His phone buzzes with a call from his father. “Oh, I’m sorry… But I need to leave.” NamJoon’s expression reflects disappointment yet understanding. “That’s too bad. Let’s hang out another time.” “Yeah. Tell the guys hello for me.” SeokJin turns back as he arrives at his car. “NamJoon. If we can get everyone together… Let’s all go to the ocean.” NamJoon looks puzzled by the suggestion. “The ocean?” SeokJin smiles in lieu of an explanation.

The third episode begins with JungKook fighting a group of thugs in a covered alley. (The date is unspecified, but this is a continuation of the night of 11 April.) They kick his stomach and spit on the ground as they walk away, a sight that reinvigorates him even though he can barely sit up. He either says something to provoke them or hurls his bag at them. Riled up, they beat him again as he laughs, vision blurring. They’re gone by the time everything comes back into focus. JungKook got what he wanted: he deliberately provoked them, and when he laughed, they called him crazy and hit him harder. He watches a breeze flatten a tuft of grass in the pavement, just like him. JungKook forces himself to laugh again because he’s afraid he may cry. Where does he go now? He feels like a ghost at home: he’s never a priority for his mom, and dealing with his stepfather is a pain. JungKook closes his eyes, hoping that when he opens them, he won’t be here.

The scene that follows appears to be a memory of 7 April, although it is not specified as such and is written in present tense. (This encounter occurs in The Notes 1 as well as episode 4 of JungKook’s story.) While wandering the streets at night, JungKook is drawn by a familiar piano tune to a music shop with broken showroom windows. He sees YoonGi, for the first time in two years, playing within and looking like he will crumble at any moment. JungKook can’t muster up the courage to follow when he leaves and instead sits at the piano. The keys feel cold like no one has touched them. By memory, he stumbles through the song that YoonGi played this night and back in the classroom hideout. YoonGi appears beside him and corrects the notes like he did in their school days.

The story cuts to YoonGi in the present, possibly in the classroom. He ignores his ringing phone partly because of his drunken stupor and partly because he doesn’t want to talk, but he finally relents and answers. HoSeok offers that NamJoon wants to hang out later. “I’m not going,” YoonGi says immediately. “Hey, don’t be like that. SeokJin’s here, too. Do you want to talk to JungKook? I called him earlier, but he didn’t pick up.” HoSeok encourages YoonGi to call instead because JungKook may pick up for him. YoonGi hangs up, thoughts complicated as he remembers a time when he watched JungKook play piano. “Looking back, that kid was my shadow. I couldn’t ignore him, even if he wasn’t speaking to me. And I kept looking out for him… because it seemed like he’d fall apart if he was ignored.” He considers leaving it be, but his fingers are already dialing.

The perspective switches again: on a rooftop overlooking Songju, JungKook grows dizzy and stumbles. Darkness grasps his ankles, and his mind empties. “I don’t want to leave anything behind. This will just be the end.” At that moment, his phone rings. He sees YoonGi’s name, and everything sharpens, as though he’s awoken from a dream. “What took you so long to pick up?” asks YoonGi. When JungKook doesn’t answer, he continues, “Everyone’s meeting up later. Do you want to go?” After a pause, JungKook says, “YoonGi. Please come get me.” (From the thug beating to the rooftop, this is how his 11 April entry plays out in The Notes 1, but it ends before their phone conversation.) Waiting for YoonGi down on the street, JungKook recalls when they all used to hang out in the classroom. “I have a place to go. People to be with. Right now, that’s enough.”

On 2 May, SeokJin sneaks into YoonGi’s workroom, which is filled with oil-soaked papers as though he intended to set it on fire. (It’s dark, so as the later part of the episode occurs in the daytime, it must be past midnight or in the early morning.) There is no foolproof way to save YoonGi since he acts unpredictably between the loops, but SeokJin has determined that YoonGi needs someone who can tie him to the world—someone whom he won’t push away. Once, NamJoon told SeokJin that JungKook still carried the photo they took at the beach. (The photo depicted in the game is the one of the boys on the wall by the sea.) While NamJoon probably relayed this to show that JungKook hasn’t forgotten about SeokJin, it stirs a different memory for him. In high school when they ditched and went to the beach, hunting for a boulder that supposedly made dreams come true, SeokJin noticed JungKook ask YoonGi an important question while their voices were drowned out by construction noise. He has now realized that both JungKook and YoonGi have the same desperation in their eyes. JungKook knows that YoonGi is like him: a person who needs a string to hold him here. Therefore, JungKook is the key to saving YoonGi.

SeokJin places his copy of the photograph next to the mirror in the workroom, hoping it will lead to saving them both. Before he can leave, footsteps grow closer. Flustered, he chooses to either explain himself honestly or hide. In both paths, YoonGi stumbles inside and collapses on the sofa, too drunk to notice that someone else is in the room. In the second path, some extra information is presented when SeokJin notices a little water dish and paper cup with breadcrumbs as he hides beside the piano. “He must’ve looked after it again.” In another loop, SeokJin saw a small, weak bird that got mistakenly trapped in the workroom. YoonGi looked after it, most likely thinking of JungKook. (This particular episode is called Small Bird, so the title may only be meaningful to players who choose this path or are familiar with the bird from The Notes 1.)

SeokJin escapes undetected while YoonGi sleeps. Later in the day, he watches the workroom from his car. The most difficult part starts now: JungKook must follow the hints SeokJin has left to save YoonGi. After staring up at the second floor for a while with an unhappy expression, JungKook seems to make up his mind and enters the building. The story cuts briefly to YoonGi’s perspective. In the workroom, the mirror shatters. (The reason is unspecified, so we are left to wonder if a confrontation unfolded like the one depicted in the Run MV and implied in The Notes 1, or if something else occurred.) Dizzy, YoonGi falters but manages to stand up. (Again, standing up from what? Possibly because JungKook hit him.) “YoonGi…” JungKook is rooted to the spot in surprise. YoonGi runs, leaving him behind. Back in his perspective, SeokJin starts the car as soon as he sees JungKook dash out of the building. He hopes that leaving “a sign” will guide JungKook to the correct motel. (In The Notes 1, it is a bloody tissue that SeokJin drops by the entrance gate because YoonGi fled his workroom with busted lips. The game episode closely follows how this scenario proceeds in Notes 1, so I’m not sure why it is so cryptic around the details implying that a fight occurred between YoonGi and JungKook.) Inside the motel (once again matching the I Need U MV), YoonGi lights the bedsheets on fire. He regrets having JungKook by his side because the people close to him get hurt. The memories of his childhood burn along with the flames: fragments of the day he arrived home and found it collapsing in a fire. YoonGi hears JungKook shouting. “I’m sure… He’ll be sad because of me. But he won’t be unhappy anymore,” he thinks. JungKook shouts for him to get up, and YoonGi finally looks at him. His last view of the room encompasses the red flames, the air wavy with heat, and JungKook’s crumpled face. The episode ends with sirens playing over a black screen.

Episode 5, “Connecting Threads,” picks up on 12 May with SeokJin preparing to set events in motion for saving his next pair of friends. At the hospital, he waits for JiMin to show up and overhears a conversation between a nurse and doctor. If SeokJin stays where he is, they notice him and postpone their discussion, but if he steps out of sight, they continue. The nurse mentions “patient Park JiMin” who has “transferred down from the 9th floor.” She reports that he keeps roaming the hallways at night and wonders if they should stop him ��just in case.” “He’ll be headed back up in about three days or so. Just leave him be. If it really bothers you, check with them,” advises the doctor. SeokJin moves to his precalculated spot when they leave, planning to lead JiMin to the stairs so that he’ll run into HoSeok on his way down. In his perspective, JiMin is troubled by his stiff wrist as he waits for the elevator. A familiar voice suddenly calling his name draws him to the stairwell, but the light makes it difficult to see its owner.

The story cuts to HoSeok wrapping up a consultation with the same doctor from earlier. The doctor states that they haven’t noticed any huge issues and that he’ll be discharged soon. “Do you have any discomfort still?” “Nope, I’m fine!” HoSeok answers energetically and even strikes an exaggerated pose, feeling that he needs to. “Please take care to avoid any future collapses,” the doctor adds. This comment makes HoSeok either recall the last time he collapses or the last moment he spent with his mom. In the first memory, he collapses on the bridge as he thinks about his sick Auntie leaving him alone after she has always been at his side. In the second, he stands at the merry-go-round and wonders if his mom will be standing there when he finishes counting. “Sir… Sir? Are you alright?” The doctor’s questioning shakes HoSeok out of the past. He wants to say hello to JiMin before he leaves the hospital, but JiMin’s bed has been empty for a while. Worried, HoSeok heads to the elevator to look for him. A woman dressed in a long skirt and hat passes by with her child. “Mom!” Convinced that she’s his mother, HoSeok chases after her. He shoves past people, breathing ragged and heart pounding. Afraid to lose her, he either yells out again or goes to the stairs. The results are ultimately the same because she doesn’t respond to his shouts and disappears into the stairwell. HoSeok skips steps down the stairs in his haste. “Mom!” His foot suddenly slips, throwing his weight forward. He flails, but there’s nothing to grab onto—and suddenly, his fall is arrested by someone grabbing his arm. “HoSeok?” “JiMin? How are you here…?” JiMin looks equally surprised. HoSeok realizes it’s obvious that the woman isn’t his mom. Though he can’t remember her face anymore, he still can’t let her go. “Are you alright, HoSeok?” JiMin asks. HoSeok figures that JiMin doesn’t inquire about what he was doing or why because he already knows. “I wonder if JiMin is like me… living trapped in the past. If he’s unable to get better and move on, stuck inside the memories that bind him…” “JiMin,” HoSeok says aloud. “Let’s get out of here.”

From JiMin’s perspective now, he notices that everything about HoSeok in this moment is different from normal. “Get out of here?” JiMin echoes. Outside is unfamiliar and scary, and he knows that even if he escapes the hospital, he will still have to return some day. “JiMin, I’ll come back for you.” HoSeok leaves without waiting for an answer. Not wanting to say goodbye, JiMin follows him secretly as he’s discharged from the hospital. He stops at the line where the hallway ends up on the ninth floor, watching the bright sunlight filter in through the open door. JiMin turns away, believing that the place to which he needs to return isn’t outside but the ninth floor. “Because… I’m a patient.” The rest of episode 6 follows the events in his 15 May Year 22 entry of The Notes 1, with only minor dialogue changes. HoSeok pulls JiMin out of his hospital bed the night before he is scheduled to return to the psychiatric ward. SeokJin and NamJoon meet them in the elevator, while JungKook, TaeHyung, and YoonGi are waiting for them in the first floor lobby. A nurse finds them and sees through YoonGi’s flimsy excuse that they’re having a birthday party. Throwing snack bags and plastic bottles, they all run toward the exit. (This sequence is likely the one depicted in the Euphoria MV, although in the video it’s staged during the daytime instead of at night.) JiMin unconsciously slows as he nears the invisible boundary in the hallway, but HoSeok’s urging grants him the courage to cross the line. Passing through the door, he draws in a breath of fresh air and feels on the verge of crying.

The beginning of episode 7 follows SeokJin’s preparations to prevent TaeHyung’s incident on 20 May in the same fashion as The Notes 1. He waits at the park on the hill behind TaeHyung’s apartment building until HoSeok escorts TaeHyung home from his night at the police station. With careful timing, SeokJin calls HoSeok after he sees the two part ways and asks him to invite TaeHyung to their beach trip in two days. HoSeok turns around toward TaeHyung’s apartment.

The next sequence provides more details of the confrontation (and notably unfolds a little differently than what is depicted in the I Need U MV). TaeHyung arrives home to a familiar stale odor of mold and stench of alcohol. “Where the hell have you been all night?!” TaeHyung turns to see his father’s bloodshot eyes and his sister standing behind him, face swollen. Defiance surges through him, but the desperation in Eunhye’s eyes roots him to the spot. “TaeHyung, tell Dad you’re sorry and go to your room.” TaeHyung either apologizes, holding his anger in, or tries to go straight to his room. In both paths, Kim SungHoon yells that a beating should set him straight. He seizes TaeHyung by the collar. Something bursts and rages inside him. “What have I done wrong?! You’re the one who needs to get things straight!” His father stammers in shock, “W-what did you say?!” while his sister calls his name in warning. TaeHyung chooses to shake him off or hold still. In the first path, he shoves his father to the floor. “Why are you doing this? How long? How long do we have to keep doing this?!” In the second path, Kim SungHoon snarls that he has a lot of nerve to look him in the eye and strikes his cheek. “Why do I need a beating?” TaeHyung thinks.

The paths converge with Eunhye begging their father to stop. The voice continues thundering in TaeHyung’s head: “Why does my sister need a beating? How long are you going to do this?” “You two are a double dose of pain in my ass today!” Kim SungHoon swings at Eunhye, who has thrown herself between them, and she sways at the rough blow. The injustice of it all stokes TaeHyung’s rage. “What have we done wrong? Why do we have to live in fear like this?” Heart pounding, he notices that the cold bottle he’s somehow picked up grows warmer from the heat of his hand. He roars and charges forward. A shattering sound plays over a black screen, and someone cries, “No—! TaeHyung, stop!” TaeHyung comes to his senses. HoSeok is hugging his midsection, his sister is crying, and his father is nowhere to be seen. He wonders whose blood is on his hand. HoSeok stands there silently, looking like he has a lot to say but holding back. “I’m sorry, HoSeok. I’m okay… So you can go now,” TaeHyung says, calm voice belying his inner turmoil. “I want to cry, to scream, to kick, break, shatter everything. I want to fall apart, but I can’t do any of the things I want.” The world spins as he closes his eyes. Mind blank, TaeHyung craves NamJoon’s presence and wants to talk to him—to tell him that he almost killed his father.

The eighth and final episode, “The Pier,” closely follows the version of 22 May in The Notes 1, with the addition of SeokJin’s perspective providing greater depth to the events. The boys make it to the same beach they visited in high school. The observation platform strikes TaeHyung as familiar. As the sun sets, he remembers this all occurring in a dream, except that SeokJin climbs the platform instead of him. Atop the platform, SeokJin is fearful and full of emotions. Memories flash by of their suffering and loneliness, his failures and desire to give up as the misfortunes repeated. He is relieved that TaeHyung does not follow him. At nightfall, they head to where they’re staying. (In The Notes 1, this location is simply called their lodging, and in The Notes 2 it is referred to as a lodge by the beach that SeokJin reserved under his name. In the game, the room appears like the one in the Run MV party scenes (0’57”, 3’00”, etc.), down to the same string lights and sconces—more on this in the Additional Commentary section below.) As the others dance and laugh, SeokJin realizes that this is the first time they’ve made it this far. “It’s something I hoped so desperately for… and a day I thought would never come. We were all lonely once. We hid our own scars and lived through it alone. But it’s different now. We’re all by each other’s sides. We’ll never be alone again.” Despite these thoughts, he has a nagging feeling because he hasn’t told them the truth. SeokJin is afraid of their reactions, but this will be the only way “to really see them properly.” He announces, “I have something to say.” Only TaeHyung turns to look at him through the chaos.

TaeHyung balls up his prickling hand, wondering if this is about the dream he asked SeokJin about several days earlier. (The location of this conversation is unspecified in The Notes 1, but the game provides a flashback shot of it at the bus stop.) His frustration grows when SeokJin begins to mention high school instead. TaeHyung interrupts sharply, believing that SeokJin is still cowardly avoiding the truth. “Are you talking about when you spied for the principal in high school and told him everything we were up to? Or were you going to mention how, because of that… YoonGi got expelled?!” The mood in the room chills. “I’m sorry.” SeokJin drops his head, while the others look away or stare in surprise. But TaeHyung doesn’t want to be unhappy without knowing why, even if the truth is worse than the nightmare. “Is that all? Or are you hiding more from us?”

The perspective switches back to SeokJin. He guesses that TaeHyung is asking about the dream but can’t reveal that the tragedies he experienced were real, believing that no one else should have to suffer with that knowledge. NamJoon approaches and tries to calm TaeHyung, but TaeHyung pushes him away. “Stay out of this, NamJoon. Why does it matter to you? You’re not my brother.” (In the album Note from Her and as a flashback in The Notes 1, TaeHyung overheard NamJoon talking on the phone while they walked to their lodging. NamJoon was speaking to his parents about his younger brother being old enough to take care of himself, but TaeHyung apparently took this to heart as something about himself. It hurt and angered him deeply.) “TaeHyung, I’m sorry,” SeokJin attempts to plead with him. “Stop it, Kim TaeHyung!” NamJoon warns. TaeHyung demands again that SeokJin explain everything. The interrogation unleashes all the memories of his friends’ tragedies that he has tried to forget. SeokJin feels like his nightmares are going to become reality, and his mind goes blank as TaeHyung and NamJoon continue to argue. “I repeated so many moments of suffering… for you… Why are you doing this to me?! I only wanted to be able to laugh together.” A little flame grows within SeokJin, an indescribable feeling cresting like a wave. This is what his countless attempts have led to? “What’s so great about being together?” Shaking off NamJoon’s arm, TaeHyung yells, “Who are we to one another? We’re all alone in the end!” “Alone…” The thing SeokJin has desperately been holding onto breaks away, and the shaking in his hands now consumes his entire body.

SeokJin hits TaeHyung. He remembers TaeHyung’s sudden jump off the seaside platform—a time he thought he saved them all. “I even kept that from happening—and he says we’re all alone in the end? The hopes I had for all of us to be happy, and for us to face coming days together… It all feels like it was for nothing. I thought I left my repeating misfortunes behind me, but I now see them again, taunting me from just ahead.” This concludes the Epilogue and the <I’M FINE> series. Notably, the glass does not break, suggesting that this loop continues from this event (as it does in The Notes 1) without yet resetting.

Additional Commentary

The only point I want to touch on here is the depiction of the boys’ lodging on 22 May after their beach trip and its potential implications. In The Notes 1, this location is simply called their lodging, and in The Notes 2 it is referred to as a lodge by the beach that SeokJin reserved under his name. In the game, the room appears like the one in the Run MV party scenes (0’57”, 3’00”, etc.), down to the same string lights and sconces.

As a standalone MV set, this location felt (to me) more metaphorical than concrete. It’s introduced after NamJoon opens the door of a train’s shipping container, a little film editing trick as though it’s a world inside—and it does feel like a space away from the real world where the boys are free to let loose, revel in their youth, and be themselves. While it seemed to serve as a more glamorous substitute for NamJoon’s shipping container where they often gathered, this location also appeared to stand in for the location of JungKook and YoonGi’s confrontation (2’24”-2’55”). An altercation between them is heavily implied in SeokJin’s 2 May entry from The Notes 1, but it occurs in YoonGi’s workroom. Since Run is an MV rather than one of the short films, which always present BU events and locations more literally than their song counterparts, it doesn’t seem too unusual that these sets are condensed to one in this video. YoonGi’s workroom isn’t portrayed until Highlight Reel, so we can kind of excuse one of the earliest MVs for artistic license.

However… the inclusion of this location in the game considerably changes the circumstances! Since it is both canon and animated, the creators had the ability to design the settings as they are truly intended to appear (within the general limitations of the game’s engine and visual style). It must have been a very deliberate choice that led to the reuse of the Run MV’s set for the 22 May beach lodging. (For what it’s worth, I have always interpreted SeokJin’s and TaeHyung’s fight in the Japanese MV for Blood Sweat & Tears to represent the fallout of that night, and that is staged in a different set.)

To further complicate matters, a date has been explicitly attached to one of the scenes in Run because it is matched shot-for-shot in the BU Story trailer Map of the Soul—and it is neither 2 or 22 May.

24 July Year 22 is not reached in <I’M FINE>, but in the Notes, this is the date the boys plan to gather at NamJoon’s container to celebrate JungKook’s discharge from the hospital. So far in The Notes 1 and 2 (and various album-accompanying Notes from MotS: Persona and 7), this event has hardly manifested as the celebration it is intended to be. This particular shot maps a little better to the circumstances in Notes 2, as not all of them even show up in Notes 1. But again, this gathering occurs at the container—so what, and where, is this shot really depicting? How is it linked to the beach lodging they visit in some loops on 22 May?

BU has been in development for years now, so I believe there is intentionality behind this location’s depiction in the game, even if it raises more questions than it answers. Perhaps it is foreshadowing a very different version of 24 July in which they return again to the beach lodging. This is my best guess for now, and it’s exciting to think that there are still hints embedded in the older MVs for aspects of the plot that have yet to be fully revealed in The Notes.

What do you think? Did you notice the location parallels if you played the game, and did they inspire any new theories for you?

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As mentioned above, the following “tl;dr” commentary summarizes the parenthetical notes I provided in the summaries in case you want to review them on their own.

Heart’s Distance — tl;dr commentary

In the opening cutscene, TaeHyung’s photograph of his father holding him as a baby looks similar to the one he holds at 1’48” in the HYYH On Stage: Prologue short film.

During the gathering at NamJoon’s container after everyone freed JiMin from the hospital, SeokJin asks, “How long has it been since we’ve all laughed together?” This is a reference to the recurring phrase “we can laugh when we’re together” present throughout the Notes and occasionally this game.

On 19 May, TaeHyung is arrested for vandalism while painting graffiti on the streets. The bus stop depicted in the shot is the same as the one in Highlight Reel.

In the shot in the game illustrating TaeHyung’s choice on 20 May that he “can’t take back,” he approaches his father from behind and the sound of glass occurs on a cut to black. We know from the I Need U MV and Save Me webtoon that he fatally stabs his father.

When SeokJin asks Uncle JunHo for a favor to visit a construction site for practical training, JunHo expresses that SeokJin’s father seems to be interested, too. “Make sure to use this opportunity to take a thorough look around. It’ll all be helpful to you later,” JunHo advises. It’s helpful to know that Assemblyman Kim ChangJun is involved in some shady business with a construction company—this is revealed in The Notes 2.

After the foreman leaves his father’s hospital room, TaeHyung realizes how tense he has been when he loosens his grip and sees little crescents of his fingernails cut into his palms. His wounded palms are a recurring motif.

On 20 May, SeokJin stands at the bus stop and touches the graffiti for which TaeHyung was arrested the previous night. It’s the “I’m Fine” message depicted at the same location in the Highlight Reel.

The story ends with SeokJin losing consciousness after TaeHyung shoved him away and he slammed into something, marking another failed attempt while preventing the homicide. This is not the first time TaeHyung has caused SeokJin grave or mortal injury during his intervention: in the Save Me webtoon, he accidentally stabbed SeokJin with the broken bottle instead of his father.

Nightmare: Epilogue — tl;dr commentary

SeokJin and NamJoon’s conversation when they reunite at the gas station on the night of 11 April begins with 2 familiar phrases: “Oh. SeokJin?” “It’s been a while.” As mentioned in part 1, this sequence parallels their moment at the end of the Blood Sweat & Tears Japanese version MV.

In episode 3, the scene of JungKook finding YoonGi playing piano at the music shop appears to be a memory of 7 April, although it is not explicitly stated as such. This encounter occurs in The Notes 1 as well as episode 4 of JungKook’s story.

From JungKook’s beating at the hands of thugs to the rooftop, this is how his 11 April entry plays out in The Notes 1, but it ends before his phone conversation with YoonGi.

SeokJin reflects on a time NamJoon told him that JungKook still carried the photo they took at the beach. The photo depicted in the game is the one of the boys on the wall by the sea.

Episode 4 is called “Small Bird,” yet the bird is only referenced in one of the choice’s paths (SeokJin hides behind the piano in YoonGi’s workroom). The title may be more meaningful to players who choose this path or are familiar with the bird from The Notes 1.

The game is even more cryptic than The Notes 1 about JungKook and YoonGi’s apparent altercation on 2 May in his workroom. When the perspective cuts to YoonGi, the mirror has already been shattered. The reason is unspecified, so we are left to wonder if a confrontation unfolded like the one depicted in the Run MV and implied in The Notes 1, or if something else occurred. The “sign” that SeokJin leaves to guide JungKook to the correct motel is also unspecified, but in The Notes 1, it is a bloody tissue because YoonGi fled his workroom with busted lips.

The motel room that YoonGi sets on fire in this loop once again matches the I Need U MV.

JiMin’s escape sequence from the hospital is likely the one depicted in the Euphoria MV, although in the video it’s staged during the daytime instead of at night.

TaeHyung’s confrontation with his father on 20 May unfolds a little differently than what is depicted in the I Need U MV.

Some notes/thoughts on the 22 May post-beach trip lodging are included in the Additional Commentary section above.

TaeHyung has a flashback to several days prior to 22 May when he asked SeokJin about his recurring dreams. The location of this conversation is unspecified in The Notes 1, but it’s depicted at the bus stop in the game.

TaeHyung pushes NamJoon away physically and verbally when he tries to interrupt his interrogation of SeokJin at the lodging. “Stay out of this, NamJoon. Why does it matter to you? You’re not my brother.” In the album Note from Her and as a flashback in The Notes 1, TaeHyung overheard NamJoon talking on the phone while they walked to their lodging. NamJoon was speaking to his parents about his younger brother being old enough to take care of himself, but TaeHyung apparently took this to heart as something about himself. It hurt and angered him deeply.

Notably, the glass does not break at the end of the Epilogue, suggesting that this loop continues from this event (as it does in The Notes 1) without yet resetting.

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This brings us to the end of the BTS Universe Story <I’M FINE> highlights! This series turned out a little different than I originally envisioned, but I hope you found these summaries helpful and worthwhile to read. If you have any questions, important details that you felt I overlooked, or theories of your own that you would like to share, feel free to send me an ask!

For more informational storyline content, please check out the Timeline project, currently in development!

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cakesunflower · 3 years ago

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Outer Banks Series Rewrite/JJ Maybank Fic Series [5. Midsummers]

Disclaimer: None of the characters (except for Stella) or their dialogues (for the most part) are my own, and belong to the writers & creators of Outer Banks!

Previous Parts: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Read on AO3!

Here’s episode 5 “Midsummers”!

“Dude—Mom catches you out here, and you’re dead.” Stella peeked one eye open, catching sight of her sister standing over her, arms crossed over her chest and eyebrows raised. “You’re literally out in the open.”

Kie’s concern came from the pen Stella was currently twirling between her fingers as she lay on the ground in their backyard. Stella didn’t say anything, instead took another pull from the pen, letting the familiar smoke invade her lungs before blowing it out slowly. The act did its job in calming her down, and Kiara let out a sigh before shifting to sit down next to Stella, before going down on her back, too.

Stella could feel her sister’s gaze on her as Kie turned her head to look at her, but Stella kept her gaze up at the sky. It was sort of cloudy, but there wasn’t a threat for rain. If there had been, the celebration later tonight would’ve been rescheduled ages ago.

“Look, I know you’re worried about JJ—” Kie began, but Stella cut her off.

“He willingly let himself get arrested for something he didn’t do, and he has a drug-addict, abusive dad to go back home to. We haven’t heard from him yet.” Stella looked at Kie, then, jaw hard. “Of course I’m worried.”

Kie’s gaze was soft with sympathy, but Stella could see her own concern swimming, too. After all, Kie cared about JJ as well. Maybe not in the way Stella did, but just as good. “He’ll turn up,” Kie assured. “He always does.”

Despite Kie’s efforts, Stella wasn’t all that comforted. And maybe Kie saw the deep worry that had etched itself into Stella’s features, because Kie’s face softened even more, looking at her sister gently as she asked, “What’s going on?”

Stella’s throat worked as her heart drummed in her chest, forcing herself into a sitting position while Kie kept on her back, looking up at her. For a moment, Stella hesitantly chewed on her lower lip, wondering if now was the right time to indulge, but it was Kie. It was her sister, and if Stella couldn’t tell her, she couldn’t tell anyone.

“JJ and I kissed.” There. She said it. Now it was out in the open.

Kie blinked once before her eyes widened almost comically, shooting up in a sitting position opposite of Stella as she demanded, “What? When?”

“Yesterday,” Stella admitted, stomach flipping as memories of her and JJ’s actions played through her mind like her favorite movie. She couldn’t stop the small smile from playing on her lips. “We were at John B’s, before coming to the summer series.” She fiddled with the pen between her fingers. “It just—it kind of just happened.”

Kie scoffed with a shake of her head. “It didn’t kind of just happen,” she mocked. “This has been waiting to happen for so Goddamn long.” Stella tried not to laugh at the happiness shining in Kie’s eyes, which did a lot to relax Stella. She’d been worried Kie would ram on her for breaking one of their friend group rules, but Kie seemed anything but disappointed. Her eyes widened then, shoulders lifting. “Oh, shit, John B and Pope owe me twenty bucks!”

Stella blinked. “I’m sorry—what?”

Kie snickered, looking all too delighted. “We kind of had a bet going on over how long it’d take for you and JJ to get together.” Stella’s eyes widened, jaw dropping in disbelief. “I bet it’d happen before Midsummers and would you look at that! You just made me forty bucks richer, sis.”

“Wha—” Stella cut herself off with a scoff, ripping up some grass before tossing it at Kie. She shrieked through a laugh, jerking back before brushing away the pieces of grass. “Are you kidding me?! You guys bet on us?”

“Of course we did,” Kie responded with a smirk, not at all looking apologetic. At Stella’s gaping expression, she rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Stel. You two have been dancing around each other for so fucking long. We were getting tired of waiting, so we thought we’d have some fun with it,” she finished with a shrug.

Stella couldn’t believe what she was hearing, cheeks heating up at the information. She wasn’t mad or upset that her sister and friends bet on when she and JJ would get together—she was just surprised, and a little bit amused. She wondered how long the bet had been going on for. But instead of asking that, she instead inquired, “So I’m guessing JJ and I are in the clear for breaking the no Pogue-on-Pogue macking rule?”

Kie waved her off, smile still in place. “You two are the exception to the rule,” she said confidently before crossing her legs and shooting Stella an expectant look. “So? Tell me how it was.” She quickly held a hand up. “But not too many details because it’s JJ and he’s like my brother and, ew, gross. But I still wanna know! How’d it happen?”

At that, the heat in Stella’s cheeks intensified into a fire as she recalled every single detail from yesterday—as if she could ever forget. “I was, uh, persuading him to come to the summer series with us.”

Kie’s eyebrows shot up. “Persuading, huh?” she repeated with an impish grin, prompting Stella to let out a giggle. “Well, looks like it worked. Not that I’m surprised. That boy is stupid for you.”

Stella pressed her lips together to keep her giddy smile from widening. “Stop.”

Kie snickered. “Man, you two are gonna be unbearable now, aren’t you? All over each other all of the time.”

“Dude, I don’t even know what we’re doing,” Stella instantly responded with a shake of her head. “All we did was kiss. We’re not suddenly together, Kie.”

She didn’t look convinced. “Only a matter of time.”

Stella’s heart fluttered in her chest. Of course she wanted to be with JJ—it was all she could think about for so long. After that kiss, it was closer to being a reality than she could ever imagine, but they needed to talk about it, first. “Maybe. But first he needs to let us know he’s okay and that his dad didn’t fucking kill him.”

Her words were tight in her throat as she said them, sending a new jolt of worry through her. JJ never really talked about it, but she knew the kind of man his dad was, knew what he was capable of. JJ getting arrested wasn’t going to go over well; it wouldn’t with any parent, but God only knew how Luke Maybank would react to it. So, yeah, Stella was sick with worry over JJ, and she just fucking wished he’d call or text her back.

Kie sighed. “Listen, maybe—”

Whatever Kie was about to say was interrupted by their mother’s voice shouting at them from the back porch. “Girls! Get in here! You need to start getting ready.” Simultaneously, both Stella and Kie threw their heads back and groaned, loudly—loud enough for Mrs. Carrera to hear them. “I don’t wanna hear it! Get your butts in here now!”

They stood up, and as Stella shoved her pen in the pocket of her shorts, Kie grumbled, “I hate everything.”

While every other soul on Figure Eight either was overjoyed to be attending Midsummers or envious that they couldn’t, Stella and Kiara were probably the only ones who hated the party. For Kie, it was more of a socialist thing that Stella respected her for, but she also knew that her sister’s disgust with Midsummers, ultimately, existed for the same reason as Stella’s: they hated the people they were surrounded by.

All of the Kooks would be gathered tonight for the party—this year a celebration for Ward Cameron, A.K.A the father of Sarah Cameron, Kie’s worst enemy. Stella didn’t care what the party was for—she despised it. The most Stella liked to dress up was in clothes of her choice, and sure that could sometimes include make-up and dresses, but not full on evening gowns with flowers in her hair. It often felt like she was getting dressed up as a lamb for a slaughter, being pushed into a crowd of Kooks who thought they were better than everyone else because of their overflowing pockets. The adults were bad enough—Stella did not want to even see the people her age.

Namely Rafe, Topper, Kelce, and anyone who was associated with them. Especially after what they did to JJ and Pope yesterday. Dicks.

But Midsummers, much to both Stella and Kie’s chagrin, was important to their parents, especially their mother. So as soon as the two girls returned inside the house, Mrs. Carrera was ushering them towards the bathrooms, like they were toddlers who needed supervised bath times.

“Hold on a second—” Mr. Carrera paused, and Stella and Kie exchanged looks when their mom sniffed the air around them. Her eyes then zeroed in on Stella, hands on her hips and eyes blazing as she demanded, “Did you just smoke, Stella?”

Knowing there was no point in lying, Stella huffed. “I needed something to take the edge off if I have to go to this stupid party.”

This wasn’t the first time their mom caught them smoking or smelling of weed, but it pissed her off just the same. While Kie tried to stifle a smile, Mrs. Carrera glared daggers at her Stella. “You’re not getting out of this, Stella. You better drown yourself in body wash and perfume when you get ready.”

Stella rolled her eyes behind her mom’s back, but listened all the same, albeit reluctantly. Kie was the first to hop into the shower in their shared bathroom, so Stella took the time to lay in her bed and unlock her phone, hoping to see a text or missed call from JJ. Her heart jumped when she saw just one text from him, chest tight as she read it quickly.

JJ: Don’t worry about me. I’m good. I’ll see u later.

That was it. Just ten words of reassurance and then nothing. Part of Stella was relieved to have received anything from him at all, but another part still felt worried and a little annoyed. She—all of them—had been worried sick over him after yesterday, and this was all he could say? Stella figured she shouldn’t be too surprised. It was typical JJ behavior. He got in a bind and somehow got himself out of it, and never really let his friends in on if anything was wrong. But the tough guy persona could only get him so far.

Chewing on her lower lip, Stella drafted a text, but not to JJ. Instead, she sent a message to John B.

Stella: You heard from JJ? Do you think he’s okay?

John B responded within moments.

John B: Yeah, it’s all good. I’m with him right now. We’ll see you guys tonight, alright? Keep an eye out.

Stella blinked at the cryptic message, wondering what the hell he was talking about. But if recent circumstances were any indicator, something was probably going down tonight. Stella’s stomach flipped in both apprehension and excitement. These boys might be the death of her.

Soon enough, Kie was out of the bathroom and it was Stella’s turn. She showered and brushed her teeth, stepping back into her room to catch sight of a satin slip dress with a halter neck waiting for her on her bed. It was a pretty golden color with a V-neck trimmed with lace, and a pair of white and gold sandals were waiting by the bed, too. Stella huffed, the towel wrapped tightly around her. She knew for a fact that her mother thought she needed to have everything out for her otherwise Stella would be useless in getting dressed for Midsummers. It was kind of insulting.

Stella expertly dried her hair, letting the natural curls come into place, before doing her makeup. She kept it light, as always, because not even Midsummers was going to make her slap on a face full of makeup, especially in the middle of summer. Some foundation, mascara, highlighter, and lipstick was as far as she went, with her jewelry consisting of a dainty diamond star necklace and the rings on her fingers.

“Oh, good, you’re dressed,” Mrs. Carrera said upon entering her room. “Come on, let me do your hair.”

Stella frowned but listened, sitting down in front of her dresser while her mom stood behind her. She worked quickly and efficiently, braiding back the two front locks of her hair and intertwining small yellow flowers in them that Stella tried not to wrinkle her nose at.

As her mom worked, Kie wandered into Stella’s room. Her slip dress was spaghetti strapped and a lavender color, a couple of layered necklaces around her neck, and her hair down in an updo with a crown of pink and purple flowers and locks of curly hair framing her face. She looked stunning, even with that scowl she wore as she stormed into the room.

“This is disgusting,” she announced without preamble.

Mrs. Carrera wove another flower into Stella’s braid, her voice dry above her as she responded, “I know. It’s just horrible. I’m asking you two to relax and go to a fun party.”

Kie scoffed, towering over their mom. They may be twins, but Kie somehow got the tall gene from their dad, standing at the elegant 5’8”, while Stella hadn’t grown past 5’5”. “We look like bourgeoisie pigs.”

Stella tried to keep the snort from escaping, covering it up with a cough as their mom finally patted down Stella’s hair, letting out a satisfied hum before stepping back. She shot Kie an exasperated look and said, “Will you please not worry about socioeconomic injustice for one night?”

Kie scowled and Stella’s face scrunched up. This was so much more than that. She twisted around in the seat and stood up, crossing her arms and siding with Kie, “Mom, people not three miles from here have no power, no running water—and we’re going to Midsummers.”

Kie nodded vigorously, gesturing to Stella. “That’s so tone deaf.”

Mrs. Carrera huffed, picking up the little pouch she’d dropped on the dressing table and pulling out the diamond earrings. As she put one in, she said, “Do you know how hard we had to work to get into the Island Club?”

Both Stella and Kie rolled their eyes, having heard this a hundred times before. “Yeah, Mom, how could we forget?” Stella sighed. “You had to grovel for, like, ten years—”

“Twelve,” Mrs. Carrera corrected, “and we also had to cough up a huge chunk of dough, and do you know why we did that?”

Kie wasn’t impressed. “To keep up with the Joneses?”

Mrs. Carrera’s hands were on her hips, looking at her daughter pointedly. “No. So you two could have the experiences that I had as a child. Sweethearts, do you know what the Island Club is?”

“A factory farm for debutantes,” Kie flatly said at the same time Stella said, “Where brain cells go to die.”

Kie gave her a subtle fist bump as their mother glared at them before smiling exasperatedly. She placed one hand on each of their cheeks, looking at both of them as she said, “It is a nice place, with nice people, where you can do fun stuff.”

Neither of them bought the company line. “With out of touch rich people,” Stella added.

Kie rightfully finished, “While the island sinks slowly into the ocean.”

Their mom dropped her hands from their cheeks, stepping back and shooting them a look. Clearly, she was done trying with her stubborn daughters. “Okay, I want you two to put on your party faces if you wanna live,” she said before walking out of the room.

Both Stella and Kie sighed, looking at each other in resigned defeat. Stella picked up her pen, offering a half hearted smile. “Wanna take a hit before we go?”

Kie scoffed, taking it from her. “Or maybe ten.”

Less than fifteen minutes later, the girls were at the Island Club with their parents, and instead of doing the polite thing and greeting the other party goers, Stella spotted a familiar face and grabbed Kie’s hand, jerking her chin to where Pope was working out on the lawn at the grill. She’d almost forgotten that he was working the party with his dad. Thank God for small miracles.

As they approached him, his back to the girls, Kie startled Stella by speaking in a terrible British accent, “Excuse me, sir. Do we have to shuck these ourselves?” Pope swiveled around as Kie grinned and Stella shook her head in bemusement. “’Cause it might mess up my costume.”

Pope chuckled. “We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” he asked and Stella stepped forward with a laugh, slapping her hand against his, front and back, before ending with a snap of her fingers. Their handshake. As he repeated the act with Kie, Pope added, “That accent was bad.”

Kie nodded. “It was. I was gonna let it go.”

Stella scoffed. “I wish you had,” she said as they came to stand next to Pope, arms folded across her chest. The three of them observed the scene before them, of all the guests gathered around in their fancy dresses and suits, drinking from flutes of champagne or drinks from the bar. “You ever seen this many Kooks in one place?”

“Yeah. Last year,” Pope answered.

Kie was squinting against the sun, but just like Stella’s, her brown skin glowed a pretty golden color against it. “We’re in the lion’s den.”

“Exactly.”

Pope glanced at the two of them, gaze lingering on Stella longer as he asked, “Have you heard from JJ?”

Kie shook her head. “No.”

“Just a text,” Stella answered, prompting Kie to look towards her, raising an eyebrow. Stella’s lips pursed. “He said he was okay and not to worry about him. But I won’t really believe it until I see him.”

“He’ll be all right,” Kie said, frowning to herself. “He’s got the survival instincts of a cockroach.”

Stella swallowed inaudibly. Kie wasn’t really wrong.

“It’s all my fault,” Pope said, the guilt thick in his tone as he frowned at nothing. He looked like he might be sick over everything that’s happened.

Stella frowned as Kie said, “Uh, you didn’t do this, Pope.”

“Yeah,” Stella chimed in firmly. “Topper almost killed you. Remember?”

He shot her a dry look. “Not something I can forget.”

Stella shot him a small smile. “JJ was just trying to do right by you. He—he knew what he was doing.” She stumbled over her words briefly because, well, she wasn’t entirely sure if she believed them. She believed that JJ thought he was doing the right thing, but getting arrested was no small thing. He was just adding onto his record, and this time for something he didn’t even do. JJ put loyalty above anything else, and it was one of her favorite things about him—until it landed him in trouble he might not be able to get out of.

Midsummers, as expected, was boring as usual. The adults drank and the teens snuck in their own alcohol in hidden flasks, dancing to the music from the live band while almost everyone kissed Ward Cameron’s ass. Stella stuck by Kie’s side, mostly because she didn’t care for anyone else there and because Kie kept glaring at Sarah Cameron, who looked like the perfect Kook princess. She was missing her not-so-Prince Charming, Topper, who seemed to be sticking by Rafe and Kelce’s sides than with Sarah. Hmm. Interesting.

At one point, Stella excused herself to go to the bathroom, walking inside the country club and down the hall. She did her business, ignoring the giggles of the few other girls inside as she washed her hands. Just as she stepped out of the bathroom, however, she let out a gasp and stumbled into the doorframe as a figure rushed off in front of her, her gaze instantly following.

She’d recognize those blonde locks anywhere.

Stella’s heart thundered, gripping the doorframe tightly as she called out, “JJ?”

*****

Despite the severity of needing to find a hiding spot or escape, the sound of Stella’s voice had JJ stopping in his tracks. He turned, catching sight of her down the hall, too far down the hall, looking every bit as breathtaking as he expected her to in a golden dress that hugged her so perfectly. And the way she was looking at him—the surprise and relief and tenderness he was sure she reserved just for him—had JJ’s heart pounding right out of his chest, and not just because he was trying to save himself at the moment.

“Stella—” JJ stopped, looking through the glass of the doors, seeing Rafe, Kelce, and three of their suited up buddies purposefully making their way over. “Shit.” His blue eyes met her concerned brown ones. “Sweetheart, I’ll explain everything later, but I gotta run right now. Just—I’ll see you in a little, okay?”

“Wait, JJ—”

But he didn’t stick around, as much as he wanted to, and instead turned and ran off just as he heard Rafe and his buddies walk in. They’d spotted him talking to Sarah because he’d needed to give her a letter from John B, after he’d spoken to and received a surprising hug from Pope, and now they were hot on his ass looking to throw more punches. JJ’d already received a beating from his dad—he didn’t need anymore, thank you very much.

Except he made his way into the men’s room, and Rafe and his buddies were pretty fast and managed to corner him no problem. Five against one—this was totally fair. Assholes.

Rafe pushed him and JJ grunted, struggling as Kelce came up behind him and locked an arm around the front of his neck, the other keeping his head in place as JJ grabbed at Kelce’s arm to loosen the grip. He struggled, heart pounding, as Rafe looked at his friends. “Hold him still. What—what do you think? A four iron, right?” He mimicked holding a golf club. “Keep his head still. I’m gonna line this up.”

JJ didn’t make it easy for Kelce to keep him still. “Very Rafe of you,” JJ said through gritted teeth. “Five on one?”

Rafe looked pristine in his stupid blue suit and bowtie. JJ hoped he’d choke on it. “If you could please stop talking? It’s very disrespectful. I’m trying to hit a ball.” Oh, fuck no. “Learn your etiquette, my friend.”

JJ kept grunting, struggling against Kelce, using his hands as much as he could to try and get away. JJ’s voice was hoarse against Kelce’s grip as he spat back, “I’m gonna kick your teeth in.” As much fire as there was in his voice, JJ wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to deliver on his promise. Not when the odds were stacked against him.

Rafe smirked sardonically, crouching to look up at JJ with a mocking sort of sympathy. “Your face looks really bad. Starting to look like your dad a lot more.”

The insult was grating, especially given that the bruises and cuts on his face were courtesy of his father. JJ couldn’t do much more than spit in Rafe’s face. He jerked back, wiping the saliva off his face as he grinned. “Oh, shit. Alright. It was—”

The lights began flickering. “Gentlemen!” Kelce roughly let go of JJ and pushed him off, prompting the blonde to struggle before he righted himself. The security guard approached them. “Is there a problem?”

“Oh! Pardon me, officer. No, there’s not an issue. I just—” JJ cut himself off, his breathing labored as he panted to catch his breath. He looked at the others and JJ ran his fingers through his hair before deciding on a different course of action. One he knew would likely get him out of this. “Actually, yes. No, there is an issue. Uh, we got a criminal trespass in progress here. Beep!” He waved a finger around. “Call it in, right?” The others looked at him, trying to appear casual and like they weren’t doing anything wrong. “Blatant disrespect for private property.”

Rafe clicked his tongue, scratching his ear. “Yeah.”

JJ turned to the guard. “I’m in violation of all kinds of shit, sir, but these young gentlemen—” He made a show of righting Kelce’s bowtie before he jerked him away.

“Don’t touch my shit,” Kelce said lowly.

JJ continued, “Uh, caught me, sir, and they’re about to take me away. And that’s what you should do.” He held his fists up like he was ready to be handcuffed. Again. “Escort me out of here. You got me.”

The guard grabbed his arm. JJ was relieved. “Come on.”

“All right.” JJ looked over his shoulder as the guard pulled him out, looking at the Kooks. “Fix that tie, son,” he said to Kelce before looking at Rafe. “You’re lookin’ spiffy, too. You Powerpuff Girls have fun,” he turned back around.

Rafe took a step forward, his voice smug. “Tell Stella she looks pretty hot for a scarred Pogue.”

Fire erupted in JJ’s veins at Rafe’s comment, a newfound anger rushing through him at the blatant insult from the son of a bitch. JJ didn’t care who they were—nobody talked about Stella like that. Not at all, not in front of him. JJ’s body moved at his own accord, a low growl escaping him as he jerked away from the guard and tried to launch himself at Rafe, consequences be damned of a five against one. The asshole insulted Stella. JJ couldn’t just let him get away with that.

He rushed towards Rafe, only for Kelce to jump in and push him away as the guard came to his back and pulled him away. “Hey! Stop it. Come here! Let’s go! Let’s go!”

But JJ struggled, the urge to bury his fist in Rafe’s face overwhelming after his words. “You think I’m afraid of you, bro?”

The guard pulled him back. “Come on.”

JJ turned and was guided out as Rafe’s voice followed him out of the locker room. “Hey, safe travels back to the cut!”

JJ shouted back, “This ain’t over!”

The guard didn’t let his grip on JJ go as he guided him down the halls and towards the doors, his grip tight as they burst through the doors out onto the patio. “Look, man, I can walk myself!” JJ exclaimed, earning gasps and looks from the guests at him being escorted out. “I got legs. Can you see that, brother?”

The guard didn’t seem to care. “Come on.”

“I really appreciate what you did back there. Let me just walk out by myself.” He struggled against the guard’s grip before spotting the older gentleman from earlier who had asked JJ for a drink. At this point, JJ didn’t care for the attention he was drawing on himself, stumbling over to where the man stood. “Mr. Dunleavy, I see you got your drink. Good, that’s really nice of you. I’m actually gonna down that,” he said quickly before grabbing the drink and downing the whiskey in one gulp.

The man gaped at him, the guard apologized before pulling JJ away. Everyone was watching, murmuring, and JJ never had mastered the art of subtlety, so he made a commotion as he was so kindly escorted out. Might as fucking well go out with a bang.

“Let go of him!” JJ turned at the sound of Stella’s voice, standing up on the patio with Kie by her side. Their parents were behind them, quietly telling Stella to stay quiet while her gaze met JJ’s. He stopped, kind of fucking mesmerized by the sight of her. “You can’t just boot him!”

The guard stopped, still holding onto JJ, who was still watching her. “Excuse me, ma’am?” the guard asked.

“I invited him here,” Stella continued, her voice loud and carrying over the newfound silence amongst the crowd. Everyone was looking at her, but she didn’t seem to give a shit, and JJ kind of fell in love with her all over again.

Next to her, JJ could hear her mom say, “Stella, stop it.”

“No, she’s right,” Kie spoke up, glaring at her parents and then at the guard. “We’re members of this club.”

“Girls, stop it,” Mr. Carrera seemed to be saying to them.

JJ took the opportunity of the guard being distracted to jerk out of his grip and push him, wincing as the man went stumbling into a waiter carrying a tray full of glasses that went shattering on the ground. “Sorry about that!” JJ said over the commotion before looking towards the girls. He pointed at them, blonde hair falling over his shoulders. “Hey, mandatory power hour at Rixon’s, ladies.” His gaze found Pope’s amidst the crowd’s. “Pope, you as well, all right? Rixon’s cove. Let’s roll.” He was walking backwards, people making their way for him as they all gaped at him in disbelief and annoyance. JJ looked back at the girls, holding his arm up. “All right, girls, come on.” He gripped his wrist. “Workers of the world unite. Throw off your chains!”

His gaze met Stella’s, who was watching him in, what he realized with relief, was amusement. He saw the looks she and Kie exchanged, a silent communication going on between the twins while their parents most definitely murmured warnings at them. And then, much to JJ’s relief, Stella and Kie broke away before running down the stairs.

JJ grinned widely, finally facing John B, who had been watching the whole thing with a grin. “Colonel.”

John B returned the salute JJ offered him. “Captain.”

JJ grinned. “Mission accomplished, sir.”

John B laughed as JJ shouted for the girls, watching as Pope pulled off his apron and handed it to his dad before running towards John B and JJ, all the while Mr. Heyward yelled, “Don’t do this! Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

But Pope didn’t listen, instead high fived John B and JJ, before John B ran off ahead and the two of them faced the girls running over, as well. Kie and Pope ran side by side, laughing, and JJ opened his arms so Stella could run into his embrace, and he laughed into her neck as he lifted her off the ground with a spin before setting her down, grasping her hand in his, and following the others as they ran.

“Later, losers!” John B shouted over his shoulder towards the partygoers.

Stella was laughing, the sound brilliant and wonderful in JJ’s ears as Kie cheered while they ran. JJ couldn’t help but laugh as well. It may have been a shitty couple of days, but at least he had his friends.

*****

The fire crackled between them as Stella sat on a log next to JJ. The cicadas were chirping against the otherwise quiet of the night, and JJ had changed out of the waiter get up and was back in his signature hat, shirt, and shorts combo. The sight of the shark tooth necklace Stella had gifted him around his neck always made her chest tighten in the best way. She and Kie were still in their Midsummers dresses, but mosquitos and bugs never bothered Stella, so she sat comfortably as the fire warmed them.

She kept looking towards JJ, though—at the cuts and bruises on his face. The sight of him injured tightened her chest uncomfortably, made her stomach twist nauseatingly. No doubt his dad had done this to him, and it enraged her. She wished, with every fiber of her being, that she could get him as far away from his dad as possible. It hurt, so badly, to see JJ injured at the hands of his abusive father. JJ, despite what others may see as faults and flaws, was probably the best person she knew. He had such a big heart, a soul that deserved to be loved and protected instead of stepped on and beaten. She desperately wished she could protect him from the cruelty of others. He deserved someone to do that for him.

“Hey, guys. So, like, my dad’s already gonna kill me,” Pope said as he and John B dropped some sticks to feed the fire before sitting down. “So what’s this mandatory meeting about?”

Stella watched as John B looked at JJ, pointing at him as if he needed permission. JJ nodded. “Might as well tell him, man, before we’re gaffed.”

John B smiled like he held some kind of secret. “You ready for this?” he asked, looking at Kie and Stella.

The two girls nodded impatiently. “Yeah.”

The fire glowed against John B’s skin as he looked at all of them. “So, the gold never went down with the Royal Merchant.”

Stella blinked as Pope groaned. “Oh, my God. Here we go again with this.”

Next to her, JJ sat up, holding out a calming hand to Pope. “No, all right, wait. Hear him out, all right?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at Pope and the girls.

John B had a finger to his lips before continuing, “It’s been here this whole time.” He looked to Kie. “It’s on the island.”

Her expression was one of shocked disbelief. “Are you serious?” She looked at John B before laughing in astonishment. “Oh, my God.”

Pope held up a hand. “I’d like to voice my skepticism.”

Stella was still trying to wrap her head around what John B said as he stood up. “I’m sure you would, Pope, but can I please present you with my evidence, sir?”

Pope rolled his eyes. “Proceed.”

John B held up a piece of paper he pulled out from his bag, proceeding to tell them about a letter he had from Denmark Tanny, a slave who had survived the wreck of the Royal Merchant. He showed it to Pope and the girls, telling them that the slaves weren’t mentioned as crew members on the ship, but that his dad found the complete manifest—his big discovery. Stella listened attentively, mouth agape, looking towards JJ who nodded with a smile on his face. He knew all of this already, it seemed. It was probably why he and John B had been together earlier.

“So Tanny used the gold from the Merchant to buy his freedom,” John B was saying. “After that, he bought his farm. Drumroll, please, because that farm is,” he paused dramatically as the group of them slapped their knees with their hands. “Tannyhill Plantation.”

Kie stopped. “Tannyhill?”

John B nodded, standing like a professor giving a lecture. “Yeah. So, after that, he used his money to free even more slaves, and then he sold a shit-ton of rice, which pisses off all the white planters, and then they decide to lynch him. So on the day they were coming to get him, he writes a letter to his son as a farewell, and in the last line of that letter, he leaves a coded message about where to find the gold.”

John B had Stella’s attention as she hung onto his every word, shaking her head as she asked, “Where?”

John B grinned. “Harvest the wheat in parcel nine, near the water.” He held up a hand. “Except, there is no wheat. You see, wheat is code for gold. Check this out.” He walked over to Pope, pointing at something in the paper Pope was holding. Stella leaned over to look as well. “The gold is in parcel nine, near the water.”

Kie laughed in disbelief as Pope murmured, “Holy shit.”

John B slapped his arm. “All we need is an original survey map of the property and we’ve found the gold.”

He was grinning widely as JJ stood up. Pope slowly started, “Okay, so this might have a small chance of being actually true.”

Kie bounced excitedly where she sat. “Dude, it’s like King Tut!” she exclaimed, earning a laugh from Stella.

“I am a genius,” John B announced, just as JJ tackled him into a hug. “Hey, whoa!” They teetered slightly where they stood before JJ lifted John B up. “Hello! Fire! You’re near the fire. You’re gonna burn.”

JJ pulled away and Stella snickered as he said, “I’m so proud of you right now.”

John B nodded somberly. “Thank you. That’s really sweet of you.”

With a shake of her head, Stella interrupted the moment by asking, “Okay, so, guys.” They all looked towards her. “What’s the plan?”

John B pointed at her as JJ made his way back. “Good question. Sarah Cameron’s coming tonight. She’ll bring the original survey map—”

JJ sat down next to Stella just as her eyes widened, gaping at John B before her gaze instantly shot to Kie, who was frowning. “Hold on,” she interrupted. “Sarah? Wh-why Sarah?”

Stella tensed, looking between a bewildered Kie and a hesitant John B. She and Pope exchanged glances, both of them suddenly aware of the tension building in the open space. “Um—” John B trailed off.

JJ took off his head, muttering, “This is gonna be good.”

Stella looked at him, catching the wince he shot her way. Silently, she frowned at him, but JJ shook his head before nodding towards John B, who stood with his fists on his hips. “Sarah, um, she. . . She got me into the archives in Chapel Hill yesterday, and there’s where I got the letter.”

Kie’s face scrunched up even more, looking a mix of pissed off and confused, while Stella gaped up at John B. “You were in Chapel Hill with Sarah Cameron?”

John B’s throat worked. “Yeah, um. . .”

Next to her, JJ announced, “He was mackin’ on her.”

Stella gasped as she stared at him, wide eyed, and JJ nodded somberly while Pope coughed uncomfortably into his fist. Across the fire, Kie was glaring up at John B, and Stella hated the betrayal she could already see melting into Kie’s eyes. John B shot JJ a glare. “I wasn’t macking.”

JJ lifted his chin, unrelenting. “You were totally macking Sarah Cameron.”

He wasn’t helping the situation, so Stella lightly flicked his arm, prompting JJ to immediately look at her, pressing his cut lips together to keep himself from smirking. She narrowed her eyes in warning, and all JJ did was link their arms together and pull her to his side.

“I wasn’t macking on her, okay?” John B spoke up, exasperated. “I was using her for access.”

JJ scoffed lightly. “There was access, alright.”

Stella pinched his side at that, despite the inappropriate laugh threatening to burst. Kie wouldn’t appreciate it, and Stella could tell her twin was seconds away from pushing John B into the fire. “Did you tell her about the treasure?” Kie demanded.

John B’s eyes widened. “I was trying to get into the archives.”

Kie’s voice grew loud with disbelief. “Is that a yes?”

“I. . . I left out key details,” John B said, looking to the others for help. Stella pressed her lips together, pressed up against JJ. If anyone noticed, they didn’t say anything, not with the current situation going on. Poor John B wasn’t going to get help on this.

“Yo, what?” Kie scoffed with a shake of her head. “You let a Kook in on our secret? What about Pogue Lyfe? What about the T-shirt company, bro?”

Suddenly, it was a battle between Kie and John B, and all Stella, JJ, and Pope could do was sit on the sidelines silently and watch. “I was just using her for information,” John B tried.

Kie shot him a wry look. “Why don’t I believe you?”

John B was growing exasperated already, shaking his head at the unhelpfulness of the others before looking back at Kie. “I’m trying to make us filthy rich here, okay, so that we can pay off a boat, or. . . or, uh. . .” He looked towards Pope, “send you to autopsy school to study bed bodies.” Stella’s face scrunched up as JJ suppressed a snort and Pope blinked owlishly. “Look, you guys know me. Do I look like the type of person to fall for Sarah Cameron?”

JJ blinked. “Uh—”

Stella tilted her head at John B. “Do you want us to answer that?” She could guarantee neither he nor Kie would appreciate the answer.

John B held up a hand at Stella. “Just—just stop.”

Kie shook her head, her jaw tight as she frowned deeply. “Look, you don’t know her yet. I do! You can’t trust her.”

Pope chimed in, “Her brother did hit me in the back with a golf club.”

John B looked to Pope. “Rafe and Sara are different human beings.”

JJ’s cheek was resting on top of Stella’s head as he asked Kie, “What did she do to you, exactly?”

Stella sighed. Oh, boy.

Kie held up two fingers and jabbed them forward. “She’s like a. . . a spitting cobra.” Everyone blinked, bewildered. “First she—she blinds you, and then—”

Stella was already shaking her head, sitting up straight as she said to her struggling sister, “This is a bad analogy.”

“Listen to me!” Kie exclaimed, clearly fed up with the situation. “Whatever we get, she’s gonna try to take.”

Her words were met by silence, other than the crackling fire and chirping cicadas. John B stood quietly, throat working, clearly unsure of what to say as JJ and Pope stayed in their own awkward silence, too. Stella suppressed a sigh. It seemed as though it was up to her to smooth things over, even if she did slightly side with Kie in all of this. She didn’t have a begrudging hate towards Sarah like Kie did, but they were sisters, and Stella needed to show solidarity. But she could also, in some way, see John B’s side of things. God, this was gonna be tense.

“Kie,” Stella spoke up carefully, prompting Kie’s gaze to connect with hers. “Whatever John B promised Sarah, that’s his issue. But if she’s the only way we can get the map, then we need to let it happen.”

Kie’s jaw was hard. “I don’t want her involved. I don’t want to deal with her.”

“We won’t,” Stella said, glancing quickly at John B before looking at Kie again. “Let John B deal with her.” When Kie didn’t look entirely convinced, Stella let out a huff. “This is bigger than your beef with Sarah. I know you know that.”

Silence fell upon them for a few moments as they all waited for Kie to respond. She sat quietly, hands gripping the log she sat on, mulling over Stella’s words. Stella, in turn, hoped she got through to her sister. They needed Kie to be on board with this, no matter her issues with Sarah. They’d already gotten this far in their treasure hunt—an old beef shouldn’t hinder them now.

Stella remained quiet, waiting for Kie to make a decision, although she silently enjoyed the sensation of JJ’s fingers ghosting up and down her arm, their arms still linked together. It was calming when others would argue JJ was anything but.

“Fine,” Kie finally gave in and everyone instantly sat up. She glared at John B. “As long as I don’t have to speak to her.” John B pressed his hands together and brought them to his mouth, his grin already forming. “I just hope you know what you’re getting us into.”

After John B profusely thanked Kie for agreeing, they killed the fire and got up before heading back to the van, since they had to drive to meet Sarah. The twigs and leaves crunched under their shoes as they went, but as Pope, Kie, and John B chatted while walking ahead, Stella lingered back and grasped JJ’s hand to slow his pace down.

He looked at her, eyebrows raising. “What’s up?”

Stella looked up at him, her fingers ghosting on his chin. Finally, she let the worry come out in full force as she asked, “Are you okay? Did—” she stopped, throat working to get rid of the lump that formed. “Did your dad do this?”

JJ’s jaw worked, blue eyes glimmering under the moonlight as he looked down at her. “Got a good chunk of money to pay in restitution,” he told her. “The old man’s not too happy about it.”

Despite herself, Stella felt the hot tears sting in her eyes. She preferred the pink in JJ’s cheeks when they were flushed when he was happy or even drunk—not the pink and harsh reds that surrounded the cuts and marked the bruises. Stella wasn’t sure she ever hated anyone as much as she hated JJ’s dad. Her throat was tight, unable to say anything except to croak out his name, “JJ—”

“Hey, hey,” he shushed her, hands coming up to cup Stella’s that had been ghosting along his sharp jaw. He held her hand in both of his before pressing a kiss to it, blue eyes locked in her brown. “I’m okay, Stel. They’ll heal. It’s no big deal.”

Stella scoffed, though her concern remained clear. “You can’t actually expect me to believe that.” The flutters in her stomach returned when JJ kissed her hand, when he looked at her with those baby blue eyes she loved so much. She let out a breath. “You’re sleeping over at John B’s, right?”

JJ offered her a small dimpled grin. “When am I not?”

Stella pinned him with a stare. They’d stopped walking and she knew they had to move soon, but she took a breath. “Whenever you can, either sleep at John’s or you sleep at mine. Okay?”

JJ raised his eyebrows, though she could see his gaze soften at her offer. But he kept the mood light as he teased, “You inviting me to your room, shark bait?”

Her heart jumped. “Wouldn’t be the first time we shared a bed,” Stella pointed out. It was the truth. They shared hammocks, chairs, couches, and beds countless times before.

“Yeah, but it’s different now, isn’t it?” JJ questioned.

She looked at their hands before meeting his gaze again. “Is it?” she returned, throat working in anticipation. This was it. This was Stella asking JJ if whatever was happening between them was real, if something more was going to come out of it than a few kisses shared.

JJ’s gaze was intense, deep in a way she wasn’t used to as it stole her breath. “It is.” Steady, resolute, firm. No room for arguments. Thank fuckinf God.

Stella felt her grin appear before she could help it, relief warming her, and JJ mirrored her smile before ducking his head and pressing his lips to hers. She returned the kiss slowly, gently, not wanting to hurt his cut lips. Her heart jumped excitedly as he kissed her, but it was cut short, unfortunately, when John B’s voice cut through the air.

“Oi! What happened to no macking?”

The two of them pulled apart, but John B was grinning, as were Pope and Kie as they looked at the two of them. Stella’s face flushed as JJ slung his arm around her shoulders before they began walking towards their friends. “I’m sure we can make an exception,” JJ said smoothly, cockily.

John B’s grin was wicked. “If it means you’ll finally stop whining about how much you looooove Stel, then yes we will.”

Stella laughed, cheeks flushing, while JJ spluttered. “I never whined!” he protested as they joined their friends.

Pope rolled his eyes. “That’s true. You just bottled it all up inside because you’re emotionally constipated.”

“Sounds about right. I’m the one who made the first move,” Stella said, grinning widely at JJ’s betrayed expression, laughing as he used his arm around her to push her away. Stella continued laughing, along with the others, as she stumbled away, but didn’t lose her balance because JJ instantly caught her hand and pulled her back to his side.

“Whatever. I like an assertive woman,” JJ said with a charming grin, pressing a kiss to Stella’s temple as they neared the van.

Pointing at Pope and John B as they climbed inside, Kie said, “You two owe me twenty bucks, by the way.”

“No, we don’t!” John B argued as he started the van. “It’s after Midsummers.”

Pope nodded in agreement as Kie grinned wickedly before meeting Stella’s gaze as she sat on the back bench. With a giggle, Stella confessed, “It was actually yesterday. Before the summer movie series.”

John B and Pope’s gazes swung to JJ, who leaned back with his arms propped on top of the back bench casually as he said, “It’s true, boys.” John B shook his head and began driving, and JJ added, “Can’t believe you three bet on us.”

Sitting on the floor opposite of them, Pope scoffed. “Can’t believe it took you two this long to get together.”

“Okay!” Stella spoke up loudly, clapping her hands together once and shooting all of her friends a look. “We’re done talking about this.”

They reached their destination soon after that, a spot off in the middle of the woods where a tower stood, the apparent meeting spot John B had set up at Kildare Hawk’s Nest. As soon as he parked the car, Pope slid open the back van door as JJ slapped his knees. “Hit it, boys! We’re goin’. Recon mission.”

But before any of them could even get up, John B turned to face them. “Yo, uh. . . So, uh, I think I’m gonna do this one by myself. . . Tonight.”

Thunder rumbled overhead as Kie rolled her eyes and Stella and JJ fell back in their seats. She raised her eyebrows as JJ drawled a knowing, “Really?”

John B frowned. “What?”

JJ took off his head. “Nothin’.”

John B sighed, fixing his own hat atop his head. “I don’t want to spook Sarah with the peanut gallery.”

Kie shrugged, voice sharp and annoyed as she looked at John B. “I just don’t understand why we’re involving her at all.”

Stella let out a sigh as she leaned back, JJ now sitting on the ground next to her, his head resting against her leg as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Kie, we’re not involving her, okay?” John B said, exasperated. “It’s—it’s just, uh, like a—a business meeting. . . Thing.” On the ground, JJ made a crude motion with the joint he held and made a gulping sound, prompting Pope to grin in amusement while Stella rolled her eyes at John B. He was not selling this well. “Look, once we get what we need, we cut her loose, all right? Plus, we need the map.”

Yeah, okay. Stella wasn’t quite sure how much she believed that.

Kie pursed her lips, leaning forward as she stared John B dead in the eye. “Promise me nothing’s happening between you two.”

John B widened his eyes, answering breathily, “Nothing is happening, Kie.”

“I’m being serious.”

“Okay!”

Kie was still frowning, as if she was trying to get John B to get the message through her glare. “This isn’t about you. This isn’t about us. This is about her.” Stella pressed her lips together as she watched them. Kie’s beef with Sarah was so damn deep, she wondered if they would be able to do with if she wasn’t on board with Sarah helping out just this once. Personally, Stella didn’t give a shit about Sarah Cameron; she just didn’t like her out of principle for the way the end of that friendship hurt Kie. Everything else was between Kie and Sarah. “Dude, she’s gonna get inside your head. Just promise me nothing’s happening between you guys.”

John B looked at her as lightning flashed outside and thunder rolled. “I promise.”

“That was really believable,” JJ piped up.

Pope nodded. “A hundred percent believable.”

Stella lightly knocked JJ with her knee while glaring at Pope, effectively shutting both of them up. John B didn’t dignify them with a response, instead saying, “Anyways, um, I’m gonna take care of business.”

JJ shook his head, playing with the joint. “You’re gonna take care of it so well.”

Stella waved John B off dismissively. “We’ll just sit here,” she said dryly. “In the hot-ass car.”

Pope added, “While it’s lightning.”

They left the back door of the van open as John B got out, backpack on as he walked off towards the tower. The wind rustled outside, thunder rumbling every now and then to accompany the flashes of lightning that warned of a storm rolling in. “Kiara, holding onto your grudge is like drinking poison and thinking Sarah will die,” Pope said once John B was gone.

“Exactly,” JJ nodded.

Kie shot the two of them a withering stare before looking at Stella. Her twin merely shrugged. “You know I’m on your side,” Stella said. “But you can’t really tell John B what he can or can’t do.”

“I’m not trying to tell him what to do,” Kie shot back. “I’m just warning him against the kind of person I know Sarah is. She’s gonna fuck us over.”

“Look, we just—we just gotta trust that John B knows what he’s doing,” Pope tried to placate, looking between Stella and Kie. “That he’s using his head.”

Kie scoffed, not really convinced. “I know what head he’s using, and it isn’t the one on his shoulders.”

“That’s a good one,” JJ mumbled quietly where he sat.

They were quiet for a few minutes, just listening to the rumble of thunder, before conversation started up again. Pope had asked about what happened at Midsummers, and JJ launched into the story that led up to the Kooks cornering him in the men’s room while they waited for John B to return with the map.

JJ was saying, “Rafe and Kelce followed me—”

Kie cut him off. “Wait, do you guys hear that?” Her eyebrows furrowed together. “Sh.”

Stella frowned. “What?”

And then, in the distance, over the sound of the wind howling and thunder rumbling, came a girl’s voice yelling, “Please, somebody, help!”

All of their eyes widened, instantly on their feet as JJ grunted, “Oh, wait, no, I hear that.”

“Shit,” Pope cursed as they all stumbled out.

“What the fuck?” Stella muttered, gripping the skirt of her dress so it didn’t get tangled in her feet as she ran.

The voice, Stella realized, belonged to Sarah, and her heart started pounding as they ran towards the Hawk’s Nest, throat already drying in worry. The first thought in her head was that something went terribly wrong, that John B was hurt, and when they all cleared a group of trees towards the base of the Nest, Stella’s fear came true as a gasp ripped through her at the sight of John B lying on the ground, Sarah crying as she cradled his head and begged for him to wake up and open his eyes.

“Sarah! What happened?” Pope asked as they came running over, skidding to a stop, their breathing labored.

Sarah was crying, and Stella’s heart clenched at the sight of John B, unconscious, fear drenching her veins in ice as she instantly gripped Kie’s hand. “I don’t know what to do,” Sarah sobbed. “He needs help. Topper shoved him.”

Anger heated Stella’s skin, momentarily taking over the terror trembling her body as JJ demanded, “Where the hell is he?”

But Sarah just cried, “Oh, please, please, please get help. I don’t care who. Just call someone.”

Stella pushed Pope away as she panted, “Go! Call 911! Go!”

Pope took off and Kie shouted after him, “Pope, hurry!”

They all stood, breathing labored and hearts pounding, unsure of what to do as their friend lay unconscious. Worry weighed heavily on them all, to the point where Stella couldn’t even stop to question the way Sarah was holding John B to her, crying for him, kissing him and begging for him to wake up. No, nothing else mattered other than their injured friend, the tears stinging in Stella’s eyes as she prayed to anyone who was listening that he would wake up. Soon. Now. Please.

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avengersassemble-fics · 4 years ago

Text

Stark’s Girl

part 013/015 “i’m not going anywhere”

previous part // next part

masterlist

word count 3.1k

The Avengers Compound has not changed one bit, albeit the lack of people roaming the halls was hard to ignore. Your first couple months with Nat had gone relatively smoothly and you didn’t have a single blackout episode yet, but you had been taking precautions. You didn’t tune into the news, opting instead for streamed episodes of that Office show tony demanded you finish. Natasha had introduced you to podcasts, but you were careful to avoid any of the ones about “Moving on After the Blip,” or “Remembering before the Blip,” because you were sure you’d lose it. Sometimes you chose to just listen to soft classical music, which was your choice for today. It was the weekend, things had been quiet on the communication end for Natasha, so she dismissed you for a couple days (not that she wouldn’t be able to call for you if she needed, but the idea of having free time was nice.)

Every week you set aside some time to come to the deserted half of the Residence hall.. The rooms that once were lived in by other Avengers were abandoned, and this was one of the most glaring reminders of what was lost four years ago. You had a pattern that you always stuck to, and you always started with Sam’s room, clearing off any dust that may have accumulated and repositioned the knick knacks that adorned the shelves that lined the walls. There were pictures of him with his flight partner wearing the wings that Sam had made his own.

Vision’s room was a little more bare. And by a little more you mean it was basically two chairs and a painting. Nonetheless you made sure the painting always hung straight and no dust dared to stay on the famous Mulberry Tree. Sometimes you’d stop and wonder why Vision had chosen this painting out of everything, and almost always you opted for the answer that Vision admired Van Gogh’s acknowledgement of no matter his place in the world, all he could do was carry on and paint. Maybe that resonated with Vision, especially given his connection with Wanda.

Wanda’s room was more homey, you had always admired what she had done with the place. There had been a number of times she’d let you come in with a bowl of popcorn and you both would watch old timey sitcoms together. You took great care in making sure her room was exactly how she left it, and made sure to replace the vanilla sage wall scent just in case.

The last room that you often avoided was Steve’s. Nat said that he stopped by often for laundry purposes and to check in, but you had yet to see him since you moved back in. Was it an invasion of privacy or was it a nice gesture since you’d done everyone else’s? With a deep breath and steady hand, you pushed open Steve’s door and turned the light on and took in the sight.

It was almost exactly how you remembered it. The bed remained untouched all this time, still made perfectly just how Steve had done every morning. No one must’ve come in here in awhile, or maybe Steve did the last time he had come to see Nat, because there was a faint hint of his cologne in the air. You did notice that the small touches Steve did have in here were long gone, the only hint that anything had adorned the shelving in the room was the faint outlines that were slowly but surely being covered by dust. You hesitantly ran a dust rag over the shelving, going row by row before beeping interrupted your cleaning regime.

“Stupid earphones,” you grumbled and took them out your ear and shoved them into your pockets. You made a note to self to charge them when you went back to your room (and not run them through the washer like you did with tony’s pair that one time). You reached down for the windex to spray the mirror that hung on the wall when you gasped at the sight of someone standing behind you.

“What the hell, Steve,” you exclaimed.

Steve stood in the doorway holding a basket with what looked like a heap of clothing in it. The small smile that graced his face let you know that he was amused, and not afraid to show it. “So we’re breaking and entering now?”

The callback to your first meeting post-Siberia fallout didn’t fall flat. You stood a little straighter and motioned towards the door. “I um.. I did the other’s and thought I should do yours too.”

“That’s a nice gesture,” Steve confirmed. He took small strides into the room, never giving off more than a casual vibe, and set his basket down on the bed. Steve proceeded to start folding the clothes he pulled out and you weren’t sure if you should leave or not, but the feeling was quickly squashed. “Don’t let me stop you from your routine.”

The term he used made you raise a brow, but you also didn’t question him on how he knew of your routine. Instead, you turned back to the mirror and sprayed it down, and wiped away the liquid with paper towels. The only sound in the room was the light squeaks made from your wipes, and the soft sound of his clothes falling into folded piles. When you finished you turned around and set the windex in the carrier you had with more cleaning supplies which caused him to look up from what he was doing. “Right I should.. Get out your way.”

You grabbed the carrier with no objection from Steve and made your way to the door. As much as it pained you to admit it, sometimes you missed his company. Steve had always been the one person you felt at home with, besides Tony and his family of course. But with Steve it was like.. Like how Pepper and Morgan were to Tony.. His family. Steve had begun to feel like yours, and maybe that’s why it was hard to not have that anymore. But his voice tore you from your thoughts, and froze you in your tracks. “Have you had dinner yet?”

“What?” You asked, unsure if he was even speaking to you. You turned around to him and he indeed was looking your way, folding a shirt in the process.

“Have you had dinner?” He asked again.

“Uh,” you checked your wrist and the watch you were wearing blinked back up at you that it was 6:45. “Actually no I haven’t.”

“Nat was planning on a late night to catch Rhodey on an update on a mission,” Steve started, placing the shirt he was folding down behind him and meeting your gaze again. “I was thinking Thai?”

You didn’t answer right away, averting your gaze to the floor in thought, which made Steve smile. “Oh come on.. I know it’s your favorite.”

You couldn’t help but laugh and raise a brow at him. “We’ve resorted to bribery?”

“If that’s what it takes,” Steve admitted. You found yourself biting your lip and finally gave him a nod.

“Alright, I’m game, but only if I get some of those little cheese rolls,” you countered. Steve nodded with a grin on his face.

“Deal. I have another load finishing but let’s meet in the kitchen in.. Thirty?” He asked.

You nodded in agreement and took a step back out the room, “Thiry.”

It was a nerve wrecking thirty minutes. Did you dress up? Why would you even dress up? Steve was just being.. Nice. That was all! And you weren’t so easily swayed with the offer of food, though the grumbling in your stomach said otherwise. When you had caught a glimpse of yourself you hurriedly changed out of the disheveled shirt you had been wearing and threw on some sweater you had found in your closet. It was warm and cozy, but also more put together. Did you want to look put together? God, why were you even stressing out like this? Steve and you were done, finished, over.. But you couldn’t help but think back to his smile. The damn smile was enough to make your head feel light. You tapped your phone against your thigh when a message came thru from Nat, and you scoffed at it.

Nat: Give me a heads up if things get steamy, I don’t want to hear make up sex tonight.

You weren’t going to reply, even when she double texted using that winky face emoji with its tongue out. You opened your bedside drawer and tossed your phone in there and decided you weren't going to stress about this anymore. You were going to go down to the kitchen and enjoy your favorite food from your favorite place (did Steve remember that too?) and.. See what happens. Go with the flow is what Tony always told you right? You didn’t want to stop and think if that applied to dealing with Steve again, and instead threw open your door and made your way to the kitchen.

The sweet and savory aroma that filled your nose as you came into sight was welcomed, and the sight of the familiar logo of the restaurant made you even more giddy. Steve did remember. He was pulling out take out boxes and the given chopsticks and dressings when he glanced up to see you approaching, and cracked a smile while he continued to lay everything out. “I think I remembered everything.. Shrimp pad thai, level three spice.. Let’s see..”

He drifted off as you watched him pull out another smaller box and give a little nod to himself. “Soft spring rolls with the peanut sauce,” he paused and pulled the small container of liquid out of the bag. “And as promised, an order of cheese rolls.”

He set everything aside and you chuckled, “Wow you really remembered everything down to the sauce.”

“What can I say, I’m a man of my word,” he motioned to the rest of the common space. “Maybe we can watch something while we eat?”

“Sounds good to me,” you agreed, and carefully with stacked takeout boxes, Steve and you made your way over to the common area, sitting on the same couch but with a comfortable space between you two. The night divulged into the two of you eating dinner, and Steve had picked one of the shows Wanda had introduced him to, called I Love Lucy. You weren't sure how long you both had stayed in the same spots, but the food was long gone, and it was pitch black outside. But you were.. Comfortable. You were enjoying his presence, though you both did still keep your distance. It was significantly colder now since there wasn’t much movement in the room, and you sat back with your legs under you and arms crossed over your body, your sweater no longer much help.

Steve took notice a while ago and had periodically checked his watch. The time neared closer to 11, and knowing you sooner or later you would fall out. The lights may have been dimmed but he could see the way your hands pulled your sweater cuffs to cover your fingers. But you didn’t make a move, which he didn’t know why. Well.. He kind of knew why because he had felt the same way. He was just as nervous as you were, but he didn’t want to see you suffer in silence. “It’s gotten a bit chilly, I’m gonna grab a blanket real quick.”

You had let out a small mhm, and Steve stood and walked over to the cabinets that surrounded the tv you both were watching, and grabbed one to use. He proceeded to sit back where he had been all night, and spread the blanket over his lap. As he fiddled with the fabric he glanced your way and saw you eyeing the soft cover, and he lifted the part closest to you. “There’s plenty to share if you want?”

You weren’t so hesitant this time. Steve only held the blanket open for you for a few seconds before you grabbed a hold of it and slid yourself closer to him so the blanket covered you fully. You glanced his way as you made yourself comfortable right by his side, and cleared your throat. “Thank you.”

You knew what he was doing, you weren’t completely blind to it, but you also were grateful that he wasn’t making it a big deal. Because it wasn’t right? It was just two adults watching tv, who had dinner together, and sharing a blanket. Totally, completely innocent. You were forced to refocus on the screen when Steve shifted next to you, and his arm draped on the couch behind you.

Innocent enough.. Right?

Steve was relaxing, he was getting comfortable. A few minutes passed before you decided to unwind a bit too. You relaxed deeper into the couch and pulled the blanket up a little higher, and let out a content sigh. In all honesty you couldn’t remember the last time you felt at peace like this. And it was thanks to Steve, which was a little infuriating to admit (because he knew what he was doing, you were sure of that).

Steve was unsure what was running through your mind, but he knew it must’ve been working a hundred miles a minute. He tried his best to focus on the episodes that passed by, not even aware of how much time had passed when he felt you fall into his side. He glanced down and there you were, laying into his side with closed eyes, and it made him check his watch. Sure enough it was past midnight, which was right on time for you. He could hear the heavy exhales, and he moved very carefully.

The arm he had draped on the back of the couch (in all honesty, in preparation for this moment) he lowered down to hook around you, and used his hand to pull the blanket up higher. Steve kept his arm wrapped around you and relaxed back into the couch, then with his free hand he grabbed the remote and shut the tv off, the bright light fading from the room. The only cast of light came from further down the hall, and allowed him to fully gaze down at you.

Steve had forgotten how peaceful you looked while sleeping, even despite what he knew was running through your mind. So Steve did what he thought was best, he closed his eyes and eventually drifted off to sleep too.

Nat was not prepared to walk into the kitchen early in the morning and catch Rogers and you cuddling on the common room couch. But boy was she living for it. During her morning routine she had a shit eating grin on her face, and prepared her coffee as silently as she could. The coffee pot warmed up with a soft hum, she had made sure to load it with coffee grounds quietly, and when it was ready to be poured she opened up the cabinet, grabbed a mug, and closed it as loud as she could.

Bang.

The sudden noise was enough to startle you, causing your eyes to peel open and be met with the glaring sunlight that poured into..

Oh no. The common room. You were still in the common room.

Your eyes darted to where the sound had come from and there was Nat smiling into her coffee mug, and you slowly shifted your gaze up to Steve who was just waking up. You were now very aware that he was holding you which therefore meant you were cuddling with him. You had never gotten up so fast in your life, pulling the blanket up with you. Steve glanced Natasha’s way and then back at you, who was rolling the blanket up rapidly. “Oh-”

“I’m so sorry,” you offered, and even offered him the blanket back. Steve, with a raised brow, took the balled up blanket with one hand and you proceeded to shake his other. “Thank you for the dinner, Steve.”

And then you were gone in a flash. Steve sighed and set the balled up blanket down and rubbed his face with his hand when a chuckle from the kitchen. Natasha took a couple steps closer to him, and rested her shoulder against a wall. “You’re certainly playing with fire.”

“I wasn’t trying to,” Steve replied as he stood from the couch. Natasha shrugged and tapped her fingers against the mug in her hands. “We fell asleep.”

“All I’m saying is you told me you were going to just ask to have dinner and call it a night.. But here we are,” she couldn’t help but laugh at the end of that statement and Steve rolled his eyes. “Sorry, it’s just.. Well it’s kind of cute how much you’re trying to deny you didn’t plan this.”

Steve shook his head, and without another word to Natasha he headed to your room. It was a familiar route, right down the hall from his old room, and the door was closed when he finally got there. He lightly tapped his knuckles against the door and rested his shoulder against the frame. He could hear the creak from your bed and your feet hit the floor, and in a few seconds you pulled open the door and blinked up at him.

“Hi,” Steve offered.

“Hi,” you replied back. You didn’t move and neither did he and Steve sighed.

“I’m sorry if that was.. Too much. Just wanted some company last night and lost track of time-”

“I’m sorry for falling asleep on you,” you cut him off. Steve couldn’t help the lopsided smile that spread over his face.

“It’s not a problem at all,” he reassured you. For a second a smile formed over your lips, but then it faded, and your expression fell.

“Steve… What are we doing here?” You asked him point blank. Steve inhaled deeply before lightly shrugging his shoulders.

“I guess I’m just.. Trying to do the right thing,” Steve offered. You smiled sadly at him and he motioned his hand at you. “I missed you and just.. I wanted to do something nice.”

“It was nice, Steve,” you whispered to him before taking a deep breath. “But I’m.. Not ready-”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered to you. You met his gaze and he shook his head lightly at you, not breaking that eye contact. “As long as it takes.. I’ll wait.”

Steve meant what he said, and sure enough he started to come by more. He offered his companionship and in slow strides you accepted his invitations.. But one question looms.

Was Steve going to keep his word?

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